Struggling with the budget, no help from parents

Ooh, you're getting married the day before me!

We've made similar compromises too - there were some things we weren't prepared to cut out, but we haven't sent save the dates or gone big on flowers either.

I'm not into DIY because I'm just not good enough, but there are loads of people on here who are, and who are making amazing centrepieces for tables etc at a fraction of the cost of hiring or buying them etc. Have a mooch around for inspiration and never be afraid to ask people how they did it, what it costs etc.

Pinterest has also given me loads of ideas for alternatives to big flower arrangements etc. I'm also doing my own hair and make up, not having cars to the wedding, and things like that.

On the other hand, my dress, his suit, and our rings - we decided not to compromise on those....and I am sure you will get your dream dress somehow.

I look forward to hearing more about your plans......the next 10 months or so are going to fly by and be very exciting for us both!!!

Sorry to hear you're struggling. OH and I both took weekend jobs to earn extra money to pay for our wedding. We both worked 7 days a week for about 7-8 months but it was well worth it in the end.

Can either of you do any overtime or get a second job to earn more money?

We are making our own flowers out of paper there are some really amazing ones out there and any real ones we need we are going to pick up from a supermarket as the difference in price is immense! Also will be picking some out of the garden and mums garden so its a huge saving. We have bought our table covers second hand after someone local got married and they are just the thing £40 to cover 8 tables and extras instead of £12.99 per table to hire. The lady we bought them off paid £200 to have them made so maybe that could help you, if you look out or even on ebay for someone selling theres on. Iif you know anyone with a good camera they may even do your wedding pictures for you. We are getting my 2 brothers to take ours. One of my brothers was at a wedding and took some pictures and the couple said his pictures where better than the ones the hired photographer took. There are lots of things u can buy second hand that will look fab also all the summer sales have just started to its worth checking around debenhams, house of fraiser even john lewis. Lots of places like that where you wouldnt normally be able to afford are having great offers. Lastly your parents are being totally mean if they helped your sister twice. At the end of the day try not to think about that though you have to enjoy your day it is after all a celebration =)

Would you consider getting your dream dress second hand to cut costs? I get the parents thing, I don't even want them to contribute I just want them to be interested and that is asking too much! When my sister got married it was all I heard about for months and I am pretty sure they paid for at least some of it.

Because you still have just under a year until the wedding, I would definitely consider getting the dress second hand. Keep an eye on preloved and eBay. You can get it cleaned and adjusted to your size, and that will probably save you quite a lot of money.

Also, keep an eye out in the current sales for any bits and bobs you can get in advance and store away. Maybe some fake flowers? Any baragin shoes, or for your rings etc. After wedding season I reckon a lot of stuff will get reduced and be a prime time to start storing bits away if you can.

keep an eye on on the for sale section of this site. A lot of brides are happy to give away their stuff as long as you come and collect it, or pay for postage. They don't need it,and don't want to have to store it and want it to go to a good home. Worth keeping an eye each day, only takes a few mins of your time.

The parents thing is a difficult situation, because you don't want to have to ask, and it would be much easier if they were up front about whether they are contibuting or not. Perhaps have a general chat about ideas etc with your parents and see what they say. Make a scrap book of things you'd like, or what you're thinking of getting/doing. It might prompt them to either say they will give you £X, or if they say nothing, then you know to just assume that they're not going to contribute and you know where you stand. They may not realise that you have started planning and procuring, and for that reason just haven't said anything yet.

Thanks everyone for your lovely advice!

Kimiu, I'll definitely look up some of your suggestions. We managed to get the rings in the sale. I'm sure everything will turn out ok. It'll be even more special knowing that you and your other half have saved up and paid for the wedding yourself. Good luck with your wedding planning!

J9, FI and I work in the creative industry so we both work late nights and sometimes even weekends so a weekend job wouldn't be an option. We've been saving up a lot and cutting things out like going out for a meal so hopefully we will be able to get most of the stuff we want for the wedding!

JenniferRennifer, I was contemplating making my own flowers too. I've been trying to grow my own wedding flowers but that hasn't really been working so far! We're not hiring any centrepieces - I'll be making some origami pieces. I've been looking at second hand stuff but nothing has really stood out yet! Good luck with your wedding planning!

CrazyRatLady & Bex_boo, I'm going to a charity shop this weekend to look for second hand wedding gowns. I don't mind wearing one to be honest - just haven't seen one I like on the Internet. I guess the wedding is still 10 and a half months away but neither parents have actually asked how we're getting on with the wedding planning and what we've booked. I find that really odd...

We were lucky enough for my parents to give us 1k but in reality they owed me 1k but never the less I got the money as was so greatful, OH's parents have got our wedding car, my underwear and a couple of small bit for the wedding.

We're still having to pay 3k ourselves and with a house to run, a dog, 2 kids it's been hard!

I found useing eBay a great thing, got my dress from Hong Kong and had no problems with it but I think that's because every item I wanted from eBay I researched the seller and item to an inch of my life! Because of that I didn't end up waisting money on horrible items!

Theres always websites offering pre loved items at good prices and sales are great too.

Hope you manage to pull of a great wedding as a tight budget really dosnt mean a tacky wedding.

Ebay and pinterest have been my BFF's for well over a year - I put alerts on my ebay for items I was looking for which helped when I was stuck at work and didn't want to miss any! I also looked out for wedding job lots.

When I first started out planning my wedding I wanted the most expensive of this and that - my shoes I wanted were nearly £900. Freya Rose. My dress (with alterations) tiara and shoes and veil has come to £1,100

I started looking at cheaper alternatives, and my taste did change throughout the process too...(I am a c0w for changing my mind when it comes to the crunch)

Me and my mum are going direct to a flower wholesaler (who sell to florists) and my mum is helping to do the flowers with me. Also the range and hobby craft have been a lifesaver.

x

Setting your budget isn't hard: sticking to it is though!

So, work out how much you can afford overall. Take off what you need to pay for registrar. Take off what you have committed to pay the venue.

Set aside 15% off the money you have left for emergencies and things you've forgotten

Then make a long list of everything else you can think of: include rings, clothes, entertainment, drinks, photographer, every tiny thing that isn't already tied down. Sit down together and put the list in order of what is more or less imprtant to you.

Assign a maximum value that you are prepared to budget to the big things from your overall pot. try to buy at less than this maximum if you can.

Buy the leftover (not major) things in order of their importance at the best price possible. Do not just by something if it's a bargain: there's a good chance you'll change your mind/won't like it in the end. Be tough with yourself. And odd as it sounds on a wedding forum: don't go on wedding forums! I have spent money on things I didn't even know existed before I started coming on here!

You've had some great advice, hope you get on ok!

We're doing our own invites (simple card and ribbon, really easy and looks great) and our own place name cards. Little savings here and there make all the difference, they really chip money off the total cost. My shoes are trainers too as can't walk in heels, so not spending much on those either.

I am in a lucky position where my dad can help however due to not wanting to upset people the number if guests is huge and we are doing it on a budget in a way. My shoes are £20 off ebay and all the stationary is homemade by me. I don't think a veil would suit me so not having that and my underwear was £9 from primark as I wanted simple smooth underwear that kept everything tucked in. We are having favours but they have cost me £60 for 100 jars and tags. My bouquet is real which my mum has offered to pay for (she can't contribute anything else as no cash but wants to do that) her and my dad are divorced. My BM bouquets are foam flowers. My centrepieces are 3 roses per vase which I got my weddingmall for £2 each. The rest of my flowers are fake. My BM dresses are off the high street. There are ways to budget (which you seem to have done) perhaps asking for someone to pay for individual things I.e the cake, wedding hair etc. may help. We are just having simple navy suits so everyone is wearing their own and my auntie is making the ties and square folds so the colours all match. I worked 6 shifts back to back to get the dress I wanted (£350 over budget) find some crafty friends and get them working hard! good luck and let us know how you get on xx

There's some great advice in this thread! We're part DIY, part friends and family, part paid. R. is second time around - his parents are retired. My dad died nineteen years ago and my mother has no funds. We expect to pay for everything ourselves. I know his parents would chip in but we'd never ask them to. We're going for fun and frugal.

Hi all.

Thanks for all the lovely people who have given me advice as I had a breakthrough today! I met up with my FMIL for bridal shopping today and she asked me if I had sorted the wedding flowers out. When I told her that the flower quotes were out of our budget she actually offered to pay for them! I was so glad and couldn't thank her enough. With that off the budget list, we feel like we can afford everything else we need for our wedding so that was a huge weight off our shoulders. Not only did we manage to sort out our budget today, I've also found the dress! It was half price on the sale rack - alterations will be needed but I'm so lucky I managed to get my dream dress for much less and within budget, too! I've attached some images for you.

So thank you all so much for your advice. You've really helped me! x

Beautiful dress and you look gorgeous in it. I had a similar situation. It wasnt just money...my dad and stepmum did,for my sisters wedding,her food,marquee,invites,favours and car. They have not offered me and help in planning at all. Its not about the money (tho him not even paying for his tie did annoy me),its just hurtful that the y dont want to even give me their time or energy and I have no idea why. I have made my peace with it but will never understand how they could treat us so differently. On the other hand,I have been taken aback by the generosity of my h2bs family and the love and help offered by my bridesmaids. Sorry to ramble but just wanted to let you know that I know what you were going through.

Ooh, I love your dress, great find!!

Our best bargain was invites. Neither of us is creative in the slightest, and I know people who have made their own who spent so much, and of course all the stationary you buy is crazy expensive, so we went to card factory! They cost us about £10 altogether, and then I just printed out an insert with a little rhyme and the directions etc. Everyone said they were lovely! Its like wrapping paper, no one really cares what they look like in the end, they're just happy to be invited! Good luck with your budgeting