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RomanticBrownStationery29719
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Support needed....a covid wedding planning nightmare, spring/summer 21

RomanticBrownStationery29719, 3 of October of 2020 at 15:11 Posted on Planning 0 18
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Hi all.

This is my first time posting in a forum and I feel I just need some support/ opinions. This wedding planning is getting to me bad.
Up front I was never a girl that had a plan of her dream wedding... in fact I never thought I get married, but here I am.I am 32 and my partner of 14 years asked me to marry him in may 2019. Due to financial constraints and the fact that he wants all his family there = big wedding we decided to wait till june 21 to tie the knot. Fast forward to now and it's a mess. We have booked a lovely venue for june 21, but with covid we are getting less optimistic that 75 day/100 night guest wedding will happen. Many of our guests come from abroad (europe) and that makes it even less likely to be a success. But so far we tried to keep going and hope for the best. Now it looks like I have a wedding without my grandparents there due to risk even if travel is allowed, which is so upsetting me a lot.And today was the final blow that left me in tears. Due to covid I had to postpone wedding dress shopping again and again as I really wanted my mum there. Now with new restrictions in place jet again it looks like I will have to go alone after all. The chance of restrictions easing this year at all from now on looks bad and so it's going alone or hoping for a last minute dress next year. Either way the one thing that I looked forward to planning/ buying for this wedding is ruined now too. And I am just so upset. Like is it even worth it? I am now thinking should we just get the paperwork and be done with this because it sure doesnt look like we get the wedding we wanted anyway. Going wedding dress shopping alone was the final straw I feel... cant believe I actually get upset about it when so many people have it worse and its just one day. But right now I wish we had just eloped a year ago and be done with it. This sucks. I dont know what I am hoping to achieve with this post.But maybe there are other MaY/JUNE 21 brides who are more optimistic and can share some positivity? Or brides that had to shop alone and actually had a good time/ or felt zoom helped? Thanks for any repliesXx

18 replies

Latest activity by ExpensiveGreenCakes49831, 6 of November of 2020 at 14:43
  • ExpensivePinkFlowers63608
    Savvy April 2021 Somerset
    ExpensivePinkFlowers63608 ·
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    I was supposed to get married April 2020. Then again 20th September 2020. Next date is April 2021. So...

    I've just read that a vaccine is possibly three months away and people may be vaccinated by Easter. I know that's all 'possibly' 'maybe' and that's all we hear at the mo, but it's better than nothing?

    And take it from someone who's had to cancel two weddings already - keep your date and make it the best it can be. Have another one in 2022!

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  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
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    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    Thank you for your reply. It's hard to stay positive and my trust in a safe and effective vaccine is low to be honest. But guess keeping going is all one can do atm. Hope your third time works out! So sorry you had to reschedule twice already. Stay safe x
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this - it's so hard and you are allowed to get upset at your dreams not happening.

    You've got three options - go ahead with a small legal ceremony now and plan a big celebration/vow renewal when this is all over; go head with plans for June, bearing in mind that the wedding might not be how you wanted/expected; or delay the whole thing, ceremony included, for a year or so. None of those situations is ideal, but if you can decide which one works best for you and your fiancé and make plans based around that, then I think you'll feel more in control of the whole thing.

    I got married in July, just after the ban on weddings lifted, and while it was a bit sad that we missed out on so much, nothing has taken away from our joy at finally being married and we have no regrets we went for that option. So in your place, I'd be going ahead with the June date, whatever happens!

    If it's really important that your mother is involved in your dress shopping, is there any way you can zoom call her? Or take photos/videos of you in your favourite dresses and send them to her for a final vote? I know not all shops will allow this, but many will, especially during these times. If you contact them in advance to explain, a good shop will do all they can to make things work for you.

    My mum wasn't able to be involved in my dress shopping (and I ended up having to order a replacement mail order dress anyway since the original couldn't get altered in time due to Covid!) But she really wanted to be involved in some way, so when I was choosing hair accessories, I sent her a shortlist of pictures of my favourites and let her choose the one she liked best, so she did have some input into my look on the day. It made her so happy that I wore 'her' hairpiece!

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  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
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    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    Thank you so much for your input. I did end up zoomcalling my mum during the dress shopping and then decided to not buy in store that day but rather skype her at night and chat before I made my final choice. I think that was ok for her. I decided now on a dress and once its hear in march i plan on having my first fitting with my mum there.
    For now we plan for our june 21 wedding as uncertain as it is. If we have to have less people (we were planning on 80/120) then that's what it is. We discussed how low in numbers we can go and what would be dealbreaker(international travel ban so we can have family there, numbers less than 30 people etc.) And decided to review all options in February/march and then take it from there.
    I will totally involve my mum in the accessory side of things. And see what else I can get her to be part of.Lovely to hear you had a small but great wedding anyway, that gives me hope. Stay safe
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  • E
    Curious July 2021 Hertfordshire
    ExpensiveGreenCakes49831 ·
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    I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I’m in a very similar situation.


    We’re due to get married in July 21 and I’ve always wanted a Grace Loves Lace dress and their lead time is 4 months. I could wait until Feb/March if Covid wasn’t a thing. However, as they get made in Australia, I’m so worried that it wouldn’t arrive in time due to some Covid restrictions, so I’m pressing ahead and going in November.
    Luckily at this point I’m allowed to bring one person which will be my mum but if London goes into tier 3, I’d have to go alone. I’ll be devastated.
    I’m just so sick and tired of not knowing what to do. I feel like if we don’t continue planning then weddings will be allowed to go ahead with 100 people. If we do plan, I have a feeling that we will need to postpone.
    I hate the uncertainty.
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  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
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    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    I hate the uncertainty too. My dress has a lead time of 6 months so I didnt dare to delay longer. Also as seamstresses seem to book out due to so many weddings getting rescheduled to next year. And most wont book you in till you ordered a dress. First fitting was recommended 8 weeks before the wedding but I think you can push it down to 4 if you have too depending on how much you need altered(weight to loose etc). I am planning on taking my mum to the fitting so she gets to be part of it then.
    If I were you I would stick with November because after everyone going home for Christmas I suspect another flare up will happen beginning of year so wouldn't plan for february. Postage times can easy be delayed.... ordering with no spare time is very risky especially considering the costs of those dresses...
    And if you order march you have no time to get the dress fitted... unless you are that 1% who fit exactly obviously. I hope your mum can go with you. If not put her on zoom/ make loads of pictures so she can help you decide which one to choose. And maybe make a plan b / smaller guestlist in case you cant get 100.... as that's a high number given what currently is possible. Maybe see if you can come up with a 50 and 30 people list just in case.... then you wont have to stress when the time comes to decide. You can always have a big party later. All the best xxx
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  • H
    Beginner July 2021 South East London
    Hollie ·
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    Hey - my situation is very similar so may be able to offer some advice.

    I'm getting married in July 2021 and also wanted a grace loves lace dress. I've now ordered one (yay!) but just to let you know, they gave me a final date to get measurements to them as 1st February 2021. So if you were thinking of getting a dress from them for your wedding, I wouldn't wait! Hope that helps xx

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  • H
    Beginner July 2021 South East London
    Hollie ·
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    Another thing, the London shop was really flexible with people at the appointment. I went the first time with my MOH and once I'd shortlisted a dress, they let me come to the shop again when there were no other appointments so i could bring 2 guests (my mum, and future MIL).

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  • Rox1991
    Beginner May 2021 Shropshire
    Rox1991 ·
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    We’re getting married in May 2021 and in a similar situation with family and friends coming from abroad! Very difficult at the moment as no one can really book flights until we have more of an idea of what’s going on. One of my bridesmaids and my fiancé’s sister and family are all abroad so if they can’t come, I think we would have to delay. If there were restrictions on amounts of guests we would still go ahead, but just depending on if they can make it! Only issue really at the moment is the self isolation and it’s looking like if that’s in place, they will be missing 5 weeks of work/school which isn’t ideal! I am optimistic though that by after Christmas things will start getting better.


    I bought my wedding dress without my mum as went shopping when lockdown restrictions had just been lifted. I did FaceTime her throughout through and have been a few times since With my mum one time and sister to show them. Quite nice to show them one by one as you can savour the moment of when they first see the dress in person! Smiley smile
    Nice to know out of all of this that we are all going through similar things. None of us are alone in this! All the best to you all xx
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  • T
    Dedicated September 2021 East Central London
    Theorganisedbride ·
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    Hello,

    I'm a Spring 2021 bride (circa 100 guests) too, so I feel your anxiety and worry! We are planning as if it will go ahead, but also at the same time being prepared for having to postpone. We've had open conversations with all our suppliers and got everything in writing.

    If we have to postpone more than half a year or so, I think we will likely still do just the legal marriage in May 2021, then have the big party/reception whenever we can. It's made me feel better knowing that we'll (hopefully - if they don't ban marriages like they did this year for a while!!) still get married in 2021, no matter what, even if we have to have the big party with friends later.

    Re dress shopping - I've done a few appointments with 1 friend in London, and then also went on my own. I have to say, going on your own does have its benefits too, as it gives you space to think without everyone telling you how they think every dress looks... but I understand it means a lot more to some people.

    Wishing you all the best with planning etc!

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  • E
    Curious July 2021 Hertfordshire
    ExpensiveGreenCakes49831 ·
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    My original date fell just before the end of lockdown 2.0 but luckily, I’ve got an appointment for Wednesday afternoon with my mum!



    I’m so glad I’ve got one booked before the next lockdown. Hopefully the world will be normal again so I can have my second measurements taken in January!
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  • H
    Beginner July 2021 South East London
    Hollie ·
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    Great news!! You’ll have a blast, the dresses are amazing - even better in real life! Let us know which one you choose Smiley smile
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  • Nadine
    Beginner September 2021 Devon
    Nadine ·
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    Im sorry to hear that your feeling down about it but try to stay postive.I went dress shopping alone and actually still had a lovely time my friends and family are 200 miles away as I live in my current address to be near my uni to do my degree.Im hoping to get married sept 2021.I found my dress and took lots of pics videos and facetime calls to my parents and best friend.I then got the pics printed and sent to people at home a hand written note so they could share in my excitment and in a way be part of it to.xx
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  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
    Dedicated
    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    Thank you for all the lovely replies. I managed to find a lovely dress and hope my mum can come to the first fitting. Trying to be positive regarding the wedding. So much can happen in 8 months. Even if i can just have 30 people i get to marry the man i love and that's what matters. So over all still lucky me considering how much worse so many others have it. Sometimes I guess you just have a down day. But thanks all for picking me up again ?
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  • E
    Curious July 2021 Hertfordshire
    ExpensiveGreenCakes49831 ·
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    Oh yay! I found my dress today too! Keep positive. We will have our days and I’m optimistic that it’ll be in 2021!
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  • E
    Curious July 2021 Hertfordshire
    ExpensiveGreenCakes49831 ·
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    I found the dress today! My fave from the site was Clo but was my least favourite on! I picked Verdelle 2.0 as a wild card which ended up being THE dress!


    Can’t believe I’ve said yes to the dress!
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  • H
    Beginner July 2021 South East London
    Hollie ·
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    Yayyyyy congrats!! I said yes to the Inca Smiley smile happy fellow GLL bride xxx
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  • E
    Curious July 2021 Hertfordshire
    ExpensiveGreenCakes49831 ·
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    Oh amazing! I love the Inca but one of my really good friends wore it for her wedding.
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