Surprise Wedding

I don't understand why it needs to be a surprise if the aim is just to have a simple/low cost wedding. You can make your wedding as cheap & simple as you want it to be without it having to be a surprise.

As for whether a surprise wedding is a good idea, that very much depends on who you are inviting. You know your guests and how comfortable they will be with that. All I would say is that if you have any guests who find last minute changes/surprises difficult for any reason, then you should avoid it. E.g. I have a couple of friends with autism who need to plan & prepare intensively to be able to cope with a social occasion - suddenly switching the venue/purpose of the event would completely flummox them and they'd either end up leaving or staying but being very distressed.

View quoted message I have a child with Autism, so I understand where you are coming from, but we have made a list and taken guests in to consideration. They will all be close family members or friends we have known for years.
The reason for the surprise is mainly so that we can keep it low key without feeling obliged to invite people that everyone else thinks we should invite, or family members that we don’t get along with very well. Our families are a bit complicated. Also, if I have to deal with the varying opinions from my future mother-in-law, step mother in law and my mother, I will end up calling the whole thing off anyway ?
Thank you for your reply.

We had a similar issue, but we resolved it by booking a venue that was just big enough to accommodate the people we wanted! We could then say 'I'm sorry, but we don't have the room to invite x'!!! But I can see how doing a last-minute surprise will take away the pressure.

As long as you know all your guests will be ok with it, then go for it if it will make it less stressful for you.

I think it’s a lovely idea as long as you’re confident everyone you want there will come, and be on time (given most people will make more effort on both fronts for your wedding than a normal party). I expect people would be so excited when you announce the surprise (I know I would be if I was a guest) that they won’t notice the lack of trimmings in the way they may if they are expecting a wedding.

I think this is such a cool idea! One of my friends’ went on holiday with her boyfriend - he proposed at the airport and they eloped whilst away! He’d planned the whole thing to surprise the Bride! Amazing story! He’d flown her immediate family out to be there too!

I think this is a great and doable idea but like Sonia my worry would be people being there on time and not pulling out last minute if you are trying to provide numbers for catering etc.
I really hope that you can make it work, maybe have a few people in on the surprise that you trust won’t spill the beans but can help get people there on time

Good luck

I can understand you wanting to keep it small due to complicated families. We have the same thing and have decided to have a small daytime do (ceremony and wedding breakfast) with only 20 people, then inviting more to the evening reception (100-120ish). I also know someone who decided to throw a birthday party but they had also got married in a very small ceremony beforehand so that also became their wedding reception. At the end of the day, you need to do what is right for you.

Hi, did you do the surprise wedding ? If so how did it go?

View quoted message Unfortunately, by the time the church got back to us it was too late to do it. We have re-booked the wedding for next year though and are telling the family at Christmas. We are cutting right back on the numbers and keeping it all very simple. The ceremony will be later in the day, around 4ish, and larger numbers will be invited later in the evening so we will only provide a few nibbles then.x

View quoted message Sounds lovely xxx