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Beginner January 2021

Symbolic ceremony abroad and the uk register office once home?

HappyIvoryCakes17177, 25 April, 2019 at 11:16 Posted on Honeymoons & Getting Married Abroad 0 4

Hi, been living with partner 8 years 3 children from my previous marriage that mean the world to us, live in UK, got wedding booked for next year in UK church then local social club with live band, plus a family holiday abroad after, become unhappy and want to cancel all. We originally wanted to marry abroad as wanting the experience, heat , intimate simplicity, just us and kids, families were unhappy with the idea, so settled into the plans described.

Now were unhappy, with the amount its going to cost we could of gone abroad with kids and it would of been amazing, feel like we have fallen into the trap of pleasing everyone else at our cost. Been looking into cancelling putting back a year and starting again. Symbolic ceremony abroad just us and kids then home for registry office and meal out with immediate family and few friends.

I was wanting to do abroad service first as feel if registry was done first it would take away from abroad service. I already bought nice wedding dress that can be used abroad and want him to see me in that on first wedding related ceremony. Noticed most others seem to do other way round, could I ask why please? And has anyone else done this way round? Also anyone else feel the pressure of home or away for ourselves or others?

Thank you for reading

4 replies

Latest activity by Wolff.Hall, 4 June, 2019 at 20:50
  • H
    Beginner October 2018
    HappyRedHair4271 ·
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    Hi a Happy I think you are very sensible going abroad! Better weather, better food and not a complete rip off! Ifit’s just you and the kids though is their any point? Why not focus on the small registry office and meal. It’s a bit odd to have the honeymoon first!

    Many countries in Europe are secular which means a civil ceremony needs to be done before any Church or Blessing ceremony. Hence people do it in their own countries rather than having foreign paperwork to contend with. There is no real reason if you are using a Celebrant or similar to do it any way round. Either way both ceremonies are special. I can remember every second of the registry office because it was just us and the kids. I also loved my French party with family and friends and that felt like a proper “wow” wedding.

    But the key is to do what you feel suits your reiationship.

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  • R
    Beginner October 2019
    RomanticYellowFlowers32622 ·
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    Hi. I've had a very similar dilemma. We have now decided and booked our wedding in Barbados on 10th December and the weekend after we get back we are having a blessing and a party/reception. No d It down meal, just a buffet and a party. It has taken off all the pressure and I'm now looking forward to it. All the pressure of pleasi g people has gone now that we have made the decision. Do exactly what you want yo do. That is the answer. Good luck. ?

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  • R
    Beginner October 2019
    RomanticYellowFlowers32622 ·
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    Hi. I've had a very similar dilemma. We have now decided and booked our wedding in Barbados on 10th December and the weekend after we get back we are having a blessing and a party/reception. No d It down meal, just a buffet and a party. It has taken off all the pressure and I'm now looking forward to it. All the pressure of pleasi g people has gone now that we have made the decision. Do exactly what you want yo do. That is the answer. Good luck. ?

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  • R
    Beginner October 2019
    RomanticYellowFlowers32622 ·
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    Hi. I've had a very similar dilemma. We have now decided and booked our wedding in Barbados on 10th December and the weekend after we get back we are having a blessing and a party/reception. No d It down meal, just a buffet and a party. It has taken off all the pressure and I'm now looking forward to it. All the pressure of pleasing people has gone now that we have made the decision. Do exactly what you want you do. That is the answer. Good luck. ?

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  • W
    Beginner February 2020
    Wolff.Hall ·
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    Hi! I’m in a sort of a similar boat. We were always set on eloping then felt guilty for leaving family behind and booked registry office followed by meal in a restaurant and a party more so to please others than for us. Now we have got the chance to go to nyc next feb where we always wanted to elope to and want to cancel the uk wedding to elope but would want to do the legal ceremony in nyc and some sort of blessing or something back here. The reason why I wanted to do the legal in nyc is because that is where we want our marriage to be formed/started rather than the other way around. Otherwise why bother going abroad to do a meaningless ceremony that will have no legal bearing, might as well not bother in my mind. I’m also sort of thinking of doing honeymoon before ceremony if we elope as we would be getting wed just before we head back to uk. Hope this helps at all x

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