Tell me your favourite joke

The jokes I have to pretend are my favourites are the ones in my son and daughters (very limited) repertoire...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with him.

How did the Romans cut paper? With a pair of Caesars.

How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea saw.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7, 8, 9 (7 "ate" 9 - geddit?....I'll get my coat)...

Sent by text today:

Guy in hospital with 60% burns, Dr says 'give him 2 viagras.' Nurse asks do you think that will help?' Dr replies 'no, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'

This is my all time favourite though : Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

This is an Irish joke and needs to be read said in an Irish accent.

Irish man walks into a watchmakers shop and says ‘Do you sell potato clocks?’, Watchmaker says ‘what’s one of them?’

‘It’s a clock made out of potatoes.’

‘Oh no, we don’t sell them here.’

Irish man says ‘That’s a shame, I’ve just been for a job interview and he said if I can get a potato clock I can have the job.’

MrKJX wants to know why I'm saying 'potato clock' out loud with a bad irish accent!

KJX - It's the only time I can do an irish accent!

The 2 that always make me chuckle are :

what goes ha ha boom .... a man laughing is head off.

And I my all time fave ....

How do you get Pickachu on the bus

Pokemon

('cept I normally tell it the wrong way round lol)

God, there are some terrible jokes on this thread ?

The one I told Andy Cameron on his sunday radio show (BBC Radio Scotland) over 20 years ago goes like this:

why did the cat join the Red Cross?

So he could become a First Aid Kit!

I am bound to get flamed for this one........

Man was leaving a coffee shop with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'

'My wife's.'

'What happened to her?'

The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her.'

He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'

The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

'Can I borrow the dog?'

'Get in line.'