Telling friend she won’t be a bridesmaid help!

Are you having readings? I had a friend who had 6 bridesmaids and at the same time she asked them to be bridesmaids she asked me to do a reading. I understood that I wasn’t a bridesmaid but that I was still included in the wedding, without having the awkward conversation about why I didn’t make the cut which I think would’ve been awful for both of us and I’m very glad she didn’t have with me.

I echo Helen's comment, try and include her somehow, especially if she is the only one from you group not being a BM as that will come across to her as a rejection, which it isn't, but can see it from her side. You don't have to explain any of your choices to anyone but I think it would be nice for you to sit down with her and explain it is tough as your budget wont stretch and there are others you have had to cut from roles or inviting, but you do want her involved and that you want her to have a role so a reading is a good option. I would also do it sooner as if you have told the other one, without intention these things have a habit of coming out so is best to deal with it and speak to her soon. Good luck

Such an unpleasant situation. I had 3 bridesmaids, if you scare to offend her, you can have more than one bridesmaids.

View quoted message We I am going to have 4 bridesmaids but if I have this other friend as well pushes me up to 5 which is quite a lot I think.

View quoted message I understand it can be quite awkward! I have a friend where she asked me to be a bridesmaid, but I haven’t asked her back. I explained that I had too many bridesmaids (7!) to add another in, but I want her as part of my big day. We have kept the day guests limited to family and a handful of close friends including this friend. She will be with me on the hen do and included in the day as much as possible. Hopefully, if you explain the situation to your friend she will be understanding

I'd echo the comments about giving her some sort of role.

One of my bridesmaids told me I wouldn't be one of hers - she was really upset about it as the reasoning came from family forcing her to have family instead of me and some other friends. She has said she's really keen to find another role for me and has promised I'll be in the wedding in some way, but as the person in this not-a-bridesmaid position that "keenness" has been going on without action for quite a while which - while I completely appreciate all the other things she has to do and prioritise - it does make me feel a bit crummy and I have had a few wobbles feeling like she doesn't value our friendship as a result. It would have made me feel a lot better about not being a bridesmaid if it came as "I'm so sorry I don't have space for you amongst the bridesmaids, but I would love for you to do X at the wedding."

HOWEVER, it sounds like you may not want her to be involved as you say she's been annoying you. Think about your friendship and where you want that to go - will you be irritated years down the line seeing her in a prominent position in photos? It probably would not destroy a friendship to not be a bridesmaid/have a role, but it might diminish it a bit if it makes friend realise the friendship is a bit one sided, and is taking that step back from the friendship actually what you want? I'm a big proponent of not included anyone out of obligation/awkwardness!

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Oh, I understand yes, then you will have to tell the bitter truth, unfortunately

It’s a difficult one, but if she’s a true friend she will understand. Maybe give her an alternate role for the day instead?

I personally think the only reason you should give someone an alternate role is if you need to do it for your own peace of mind, if it’s for theirs then don’t bother- it’s your day!