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Beginner October 2025 Merseyside

Thank you bouquet for Mother of the bride, not mil

Anna, 1 April, 2025 at 13:58 Posted on Planning 0 1

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Please can you help me, I am getting married in October, it is a big wedding with 120 guests. My mum who is quite well off but worked all her life for what she has is paying for majority of the wedding and has been so helpful and generous, yet left us to it. We are giving a substancial amount towards the wedding too, I am very close with my mum as my dad passed away 8 years ago, me and my fiancee spend alot of time with my side of the family which i know my MIL resents. She doesnt make that much effort yet loves to cause issues, can be very difficult in their side of the family she falls out with them alot. She has made no offer of donation to the wedding and doesnt expect to put a penny in as she blatenly sees my family as well off. She has tried to invite all her families partners to the evening do even though we havent met most of them nor should we have to as we are on a tight budget and have politely reminded her of there being no extra invites yet she still continues. Shes argued with us about that and hasnt been much help atall.

On my wedding day I would like to present my mum with a massive bouquet of flowers to say thank you for everything, yet I do not feel like I deserve to give my MIL anything. Is this acceptable please let me know?

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Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, yesterday at 10:50

Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · Yesterday at 10:50
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I can understand why you feel like giving your mother a bouquet and nothing to your MIL - and if neither of these people were related to you, then I'd say go ahead and give the bouquets to the people who have been genuinely helpful. But since we are talking about the mothers of the bride and groom, I think it's going to be tricky to give to one and not the other. Everyone is going to expect that both mothers will be treated the same, and it's going to cause a lot of comment and upset if they are not. I just don't think it's worth the long-term fallout.
Instead of giving a large bouquet to your mother and nothing to MIL, perhaps consider giving small, equally-sized bouquets to each and then treating your mother to something nice after the wedding - perhaps taking her out for afternoon tea?
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