The age old debate of children at the wedding....opinions please!

Kids at a wedding is tricky!

I have in total 7 nieces and nephews plus our own son who will be 2 and a half. Theres no way i would ever not invite them the thought has never even entered my head!

I slightly disagree with your mum though i know loads of people who have invited kids to the day but not the evening. We've been to 3 wedding receptions since having our son and we havent taken him once. Most people you'll find wont take their kids anyway because of the time, its usually half 7/8 and thats bed time for kids!

My sister has also said shes getting her kids picked up at 9 so she can enjoy the rest of her night. Suits me fine!

Im only inviting my nieces and nephews though. If all my guests were to bring their children i would have 30 there, no bloody way!! I've explained this to them and they are all more than happy to get them babysat. Means a wee day off for them too

Hope you manage to decide something and remember, no matter what you do you'll upset someone so dont stress yourself too much! xx

I have 3 kids myself so there will be Kids there.. Plus my CB has 3 kids one of which will be part of the wedding party. Most of our friends that are our age have 2 kids each!!

So at the moment I have about 20 children coming most will be 7 and under. I am hiring 2 ladies from my childrens nursery to look after them for the day I cant expect Kids to sit still so will be organising a portion of the room to be set aside for the kids to do as they please.

I think its a personal thing though, most parents would love a day or evening off from the kids so will arrange babysitters

At the moment my package is based on a minimum of 70 adults but when I said that we'd have the maximum 74 but 8 kids (Kids are charged half price when they are between 5-12, free under 5) they said that's fine we'll still do the package. So even if I took all the kids out and replaced with 8 adults means my bill goes up £500ish which is alot when you are on a strict budget. If I take it to minimum of 70 then I'm still looking at extra £250!

I personally can't see a problem either asking eve guests not to bring their kids......its cos it's my cousins and it's going to be contriversal anyway with me not inviting them to the day (I just don't particuarly like them!!)

I can see a day of me fiddling with the guest list and potential scenarios! x

Are you expecting 100% yes replies to the evening? If even 10% can't make it then you've got enough spaces for the kids (based on 100 additional evening guests).

It's obviously entirely up to you but if you're looking to save hassle then I'd just invite them tbh.

We're going to hire a nanny & childrens entertainer such as a magician. So many of our friends & family have got kids under 10 that I know if we were to say 'no kids' then we wouldn't have people there that we would really like to attend our wedding. The nanny & entertainer will keep the kids out the way during the wedding breakfast & be plied with cheaper, child friendly food such as chicken nuggets but their parents will be able to attend without worrying. We will invite all the kids to the evening do, but bear in mind that most kids under a certain age are usually in bed by 7 or 8pm & there will be rooms upstairs in the hotel where the kids can go to bed & be checked on regularly by their parents. Best of both worlds! :oD

We are having no children (except the wedding party - 2 page boys, 1 flower girl) to the day time, partly out of choice but mostly due to the numbers we are tied in to.

We are in a package of 50 guests for the day and we do that with adults alone. If we asked everyones children we would be adding an extra 10 or so and adding quite a few hundred to the cost, which isn't possible.

We are saying that people are welcome to bring their children to the evening do though.

So far, the people we've mentioned it to have actually been happy that they get to have a day to themselves to celebrate with us, without having to be on mum or dad duty!

We are inviting children becasue most of our friends have them and we also have 2...we are hiring a bouncy castle and lawn games for them...in fact Im hoping most people wont decide to leave them at home!!!I do believe the more there are the more they entertain themselves.

however I have never been offended when my children haven't been invited to weddings etc with us and totally understand that some may worry that the kids will be hyper and charging around.

Also we have been to evening receptions with the kids and there had been some there during the day

the only time i was really put out was when my friends had no children, had no desire to have any and quite honestly couldnt bear them...but they wanted a token pretty bridesmaid at their wedding and as I was the only friend they had with children (not a coincidence they didnt like kids that much!!) and I was also a bm my daughter ended up being the only child there!! she was only 5 and bored senseless.....!!they didnt even invite family members children!

(would like to point out they are now at home trying to get a screaming 12 week old into a bedtime routine!)

Hi,

We're not inviting kids to any of the day. Just because of the size of our venue!! It only holds about 100 people and we have around 10 children in the family. There is just not the room for them, plus to be honest i don't want the "screaming children all day". Sorry guys!!

I have 9 children coming to the day do, 2 are mine and 2 are my sisters who will also be coming to the evening do, the other 5 will be going home before the evening do, but im lucky that it was the parents idea...they want to let there hair down during the evening

O Its a personal decision for sure. I had kids at mine, and had a lot of kids at the evening do. I, personally, love kids and couldnt not have them there. I do understand, if there was going to be problems with badly behaved children. My hotel didnt coun't children in the evening numbers, so you might find that would be the same in yours.

Sorry if I havent help you at all, just a few more things to think about!

We are having children at our wedding but only members of the family - OH's children, our nieces and nephews. There are friends coming who have children but the children aren't invited. It's the adults we're friends with so they're the ones who are invited. I think it's the same as any guests - you invite the people you really want to be there.

Thanks ladies for all your replies.

me and H2b had a chat about it all last night re visited the budget etc etc and decided to keep the day guests children (the bridesmaids 2 children will be leaving after dinner now) and h2b has said that his side of the family sometimes don't bother bringing their kids anyway even if they are invited. Then we looked at our evening guest list and decided who we were inviting just for the sake of asking them so took them off and have allowed my cousins to bring their children in the evening (they will be travelling for a couple of hours to attend the evening reception so may not even make it) so we now have 165 in total which I think is more manageable with a 180 capacity especially with people who can't come!

Glad you and your H2b have managed to make a decision! At most i will have 3 children and maybe only a one year old, I personally don't mind children as long as they are taken away if they start bawling their heads off!

Morning

I have invited children to my wedding as they are either family or really close friends children. I will be having over 30 children to the day and evening.

Most of the parents have decided that once dinner has been done and we are at the turn around point for the evening reception, they are going to take the children home and arrange a babysitter, so they can then enjoy the rest of the evening without the worry.

I most say this is choice they have made as i was happy for the children to stay in the evening if they wanted, as my boys will be 2 by the time the weding comes around and they will still be there in the evening as will my sisters 3 boys.

Keli xx

This is an ongoing debate in our house. We will certainly be having some children as I have nieces and nephews who I would not dream of leaving out, all but one of these are teenagers though so I'm not that wrried. I'm also going to allow them to bring a friend to the evening do so they are not bored. OH's brother has a daughter who is currently our flowergirl and his wife is preggers so we will also have these two there. However, that is probably going to be our cap on children.

However, my CB has just announced that she is preggers and OH's mates wife is also, both due around the same time making the babies just over a year when we get maried. I think that we are going to say that we dont want children, but if that means that they cant come then we will revise, as having them there is important to us (doubly so CB, obv). I just have not worked out how to word it yet, and there is still time for announcemnets, ick

My BM is pregnant now due any week so her baby will be 11 months old at wedding. Originally the youngest child would be 2 and half which I thought would be fine to control and didn't have the visions of crying through the ceremony (which is really my own reason not to have kids at all) but now we have an 11mth old thats my only concern although she has said that she will make sure that her OH is sitting at back with him/her incase of a swift getaway.

The only other concern I have is that as both BM's will have their kids there will they be good for BM duties (although what is there to do for them after the ceremony other than make sure make up/hair is intact!)