The most expensive parts of getting married

The largest part of the bill is always the food and drink. It's great that you have so many friends who are able to pitch in and offer services for free, but I would read the venue contract first and make sure you are able to use the suppliers you want. Many venues, especially ones that are more expensive like a country house, will not allow you to bring in outside suppliers. You will most likely have to use their catering service, and they could have preferred photographers and florists that they require you to work with. Or they might charge a fee for using someone not on their list. An upscale wedding venue will want to maintain its reputation so they most likely don't want photos floating around where the wedding doesn't reflect the quality of their brand. For example they might not allow you to DIY chair covers, or they might want to ensure that the catering is well presented and flowers and photography are in line with the luxury experience they offer. Of course some venues are more lenient than others so just make sure you thoroughly read the contract first.

And always look for hidden costs within the contract. One of my friends is getting married and her package sounds like a great deal. The venue charges a PP cost and it includes cake, invitations and photography. But when you read the fine print it specifies that the package includes 5 hours of photography, so if you want the photographer there longer you need to pay the extra and you have to use their photographer. For the cake and invitations they offer a small amount of money towards both of those things, and you have to cover the rest, again not being able to shop around for another supplier.

Yes, I agree with the above. Food is far and away our biggest expense, and the restrictions on suppliers are real! Every venue we visited insisted that we use their caterer and the only outside food allowed was the wedding cake and candy cart really.

That's partly why we have chosen a village hall as a venue, but food is still several thousand as we are complete foodies and our caterer is ? I think you need a serious conversation with the venue about their policies as you don't want any surprises.

I should mention that every venues menu for a sit down meal came in at a minimum of £35 per head for us, then there is the drinks package which usually runs to about £12.50 per half bottle of wine that is no more than £7 a bottle at the supermarket! Add reception drinks and toasts to that and the cost keeps adding up.

Errr sorry but no! Photographer is a fair expense, but there is a lot more to consider. What is your dress budget? Registrar/Church Fees? Rings? Grooms and groomsmen outfits? Bridesmaids? Hen/Stag parties? Honeymoon? There are lots of resources on this subject so it might be worth doing a bit of research.

The package included the wedding ceremony and certificate, I'm not having a church, but I will Deffo check on catering and everything mentioned above. Have considered other bits, for example we've got the honeymoon booked at 3k, rings are £500 each, I can't stand hen do's and the H2Bs dad is covering his stag do. Dress budget is 2k, as my dad is covering half. Will need to ask venue about deco and photographer allowance then, as if we have to have prescribed people we may as well get married abroad and not invite anyone, as per our original plan (H2B refuses a church/religious ceremony as he is against religion, and I really really don't want a town hall).

thnk you!

If you buy an inclusive package that will be most expensive

were putting together our own wedding so everything is working out about equal in price (each 1/5th the total) for us so we dont really have biggest expense

thats:

food - for 48 day and 60 evening guests

photos and video - for the day

entertainment - all the music (including the singer for the ceremony)

outfits - for 12 people

decor/extras - centerpieces, stationary, favors, aisle runners, fees, insurance etc...

As others have said the cost of food tends to be the largest single item but you can get still get deals with stately homes which can keep the costs down - e.g. weekday wedding out of season. Quite a few do different catering packages so just depends what you want a buffet will be cheaper then a 3 course sit down meal for instance.

It's worth getting the contract and going through with a fine tooth comb and also going armed with all these questions.

For wedding photography in Leicestershire at least it is very rare for a venue to insist on a particular wedding photographer but if you were to ask them about a photographer then they may well have a list who they have seen at their venue and know are good at what they do.

But having said that recently I have come across 1 or 2 venues who are starting to clamp down on who is used, because like has been said they don't want bad photos of their venue out their.

Food and drink by far. I'm in a gorgeous Victorian stately home, and the price of the venue is nothing compared to the food. We're only having a two course meal, and with the drinks package, we're spending almost £60 PP (would have been an extra £7 PP to have pudding! such a waste when we have wedding cake!). We're also spending £10 PP on an evening snack thing (fish and chips) - annoyingly, my venue had a minimum number of guests so we had to have a bigger wedding with more people than I wanted! You also need to make sure your venue will allow you to DIY finger food - my venue is fine with me providing a sweet buffet (as they don't offer that service) but they wouldn't allow me to provide my own food.

For our whole wedding we started out with a budget of £10000, ended up having to raise it to £11500 mainly because of the price of our chosen venue's food and drink!

For us, it is the venue hire fee and catering X

As others have said, you really need to check through the contract with a fine-toothed comb and see what restrictions there are. I'm getting married in a former Elizabethan dowager house. We don't have restrictions on the photographer, but there are some restrictions on decorations, and we have to use their in-house caterer and DJ.

It's a different matter if you are hiring a village hall or somewhere that only provides kitchen facilities, rather than cooking and providing its own food. However, as a general rule, venues which supply food do not allow people hiring their facilities to bring in their own food. Some venues may allow the use of other (professional) caterers, but there's a whole host of issues around food hygiene regulations and public liability which may prevent you from bringing in food which has not been professionally prepared. For example, if a guest were to fall ill (say, with food poisoning or due to an allergy) and needed to claim from the venue's insurance, you could find yourself in a battle with the venue over liability.

Just another point, but if the venue package includes the ceremony, it is unlikely to include any fees payable to third parties. For example, if you are being married by a Registrar, you will need to pay the Council's fee for marrying in "an approved venue" (in our case, it's about £500 plus a booking fee), and you will also need to pay to give notice. It's a reasonably small addition, but an important one, because it's what makes your ceremony legal.

I mean its in a marquee on the lawn, with cakes and canapés provided. So they must expect I'm going to feed my guests? So I guess it's whether they insist on feeding them via the cafe.

I haven't booked all my suppliers yet but so far these are my costs, and a few of the questions I would ask.

-Venue Fee (Ceremony & Reception) - Is the marquee all inclusive? Will you need heating, flooring, sound system, etc? Since you are renting a marquee where will the ceremony be held? Does the venue provide chairs for the ceremony?

-Catering Fee - Is outside catering allowed? Is there a fee for this? If you are allowed to DIY food will you need to rent additional serving trays, plates, utensils, warmers, and tables to display the food? Is there a cake cutting fee?

-Bar Catering -Does your venue charge a corkage fee? Can you bring in your own alcohol? Will you be putting money behind the bar or providing a champagne toast or welcome drinks?

-Linens (tablecloths and napkins)

-Hair & Makeup, manicure, trials

-Gifts for wedding party and parents

-Bridal party attire

-Dress, alterations, veil, jewellery, shoes and accessories

-Officiant/Registrar Fee

-Photographer

-Videographer

-DJ

-Musicians for ceremony & cocktail hour

-Favours

-Decorations, signs and any personal touches like card box, guest book, table numbers, programs and seating plan

-Invitations, Save the Dates and associated design, printing and postage costs

-Rings

-Flowers (if someone is giving you floral arrangement for free clarify if they mean they are giving you their services for free or if they are covering the cost of the flowers as well - the flowers are the expensive part! Will they be providing vases and all the other necessary items to make the arrangements?)

-Tips for vendors (one that a lot of people forget!)

I would also encourage you to compare any of the free packages you are getting from friends to what is on offer by other suppliers. Are they professionals offering their services to you as a gift or friends with a hobby? Photos are the one thing that will last beyond your wedding day so I would only have your friend do it if they have experience as a wedding photographer and offer retouching and everything that comes along with a photography package. The venue is only a small part of the wedding experience so I wouldn't be focused on that above all other things.

Just to put things in perspective...

Our venue, including drinks (welcome, table and toast), wedding breakfast, evening buffet, bridal suite, DJ and top-table flowers was £5,000. Our service was in a church which cost £330 including reverend and organist.

Our total wedding costs were £15,000, and our wedding wasn't what you'd have called extravagant, although there were areas we could have scaled back.

So, venue costs can often be the tip of the iceberg.

It's also worth considering the bar costs and how much table wine will cost. Ask if you can supply your own and whether they charge corkage.

Our biggest saving is that we are allowed to provide our own wine for the meal and toast with no corkage. Although we were very lucky and they no longer offer that option at our venue for new bookings.

Honeymoon aside, looking at our list of ever-mounting costs it's definitely our (estimated) drinks bill that is the largest individual cost. Followed by accommodation and then food.

I've only skimmed through so apologies if it's been mentioned... but please make sure you have time to do all the DIY stuff. We didn't have much to do at all leading up to the wedding and we were still crazy busy with kilt fittings, collecting the cake, and other bits. Yes you can save money by DIY-ing but sometimes it doesn't cost much more to get a professional to do it, and it'll free up some of your time.

Good luck with it all