Thursday Wedding - do I invite evening guests?

Coming from a potential guest perspective....

I would make every effort to attend a wedding reception to which I was invited, Thursday night or not. However, travel would be a fair consideration. I have an easy time of it at work for holidays so would happily take the following morning to stay over. This is not going to be as easy for some. How far might your evening guests be travelling?

As for food, I likely wouldn't have eaten as much as I might have done before a weekend evening reception so I probably expect a proper plateful!

I would be more than happy to go to an evening do only on a Thursday, but probably only if it was in my local area, I wouldnt want to take a day off work just for an evening do. UNLESS it was a very good friend or close family, but if that was the case i'd expect to be invited to the whole day. As a bride I have only invited people that have to travel and stay to the whole day.

Food wouldnt bother me, I'd eat before I left and wouldnt be worried about the buffet, small nibbles, massive buffet or whatever wouldnt concern me.

I wouldn't expect evening guests to travel too far. People who have a fair way to travel will be invited to the whole thing. Most evening guests will be local, some will be from the surrounding counties. 30 miles tops I reckon.

If I'm putting up a big buffet, I would want to have a very rough idea on confirmed numbers, that's the only thing. Does evening guests normally return RSVP?

Im expecting my evening guests to return RSVP's as you are still required to cater for them, the last thing I want is to cater for 60 evening guests and only 20 turn up because I havent asked for RSVP's.

Hello missmandymoo! I too am a fellow thursday bride to be!

We have set our date for thursday 15th may 2014 - mainly because it was greeat place to make a massive saving by having a mid-week wedding and have more money in the budget for other things to splurge on!

I've been thinking very strictly about who I want there on the day, only my nearest and dearest - all of which I'd like to think will attempt to take the thurs and friday off work and have the benefit of a four day weekend.

I wasnt too fussed about lots of evening guests but my partner has changed my mind - my best friends are all going to be sat on one table together and I'm adamant that their boyfriends or plus ones are going to be evening only so that my mates are all together and not babysitting the boys lol!

I'm also lucky that I work shifts so all my work friends will find it easier to come to an evening reception - and as there is accommodation on site it will tempt the people who are travelling.

As for food, I will put on a good spread.... once the alcohol flows i reckon even my day guests will get hungry and as lots of people will be staying i'm sure the buffet will get cleaned up at the end of the night by the midnight munchies!!

happy planning! x

We are having our wedding on a Monday and are having a small ceremony then much larger reception after. I think, depending on where people are travelling from, there may be people who would want to come in the evening but would not/could not book a day off work to attend the whole wedding. I know what you mean about people being offended if they aren't invited to the day and only in the evening but remember its YOUR day (and your OH!) so have who YOU want there, don't overthink offending people because you won't be able to please everybody. Could you negotiate with your venue catering for a percentage in the evening rather than the full amount if the day guests have had a full wedding breakfast earlier? Or, have something lighter for your day guests (as its a Thursday I'm sure your venue could negotiate something) then have a more substantial buffett in the evening? This is what we are doing

We weren't sure whether to invite evening guests to our wedding, it's a Saturday but with it being 100 miles away I wasn't sure people would want to travel. But at the end of the day I decided that the best thing to do was to invite them and let them make that decision.

When chatting to people who are invited to evening only I have mentioned that I really won't be offended if they can't afford it / can't get childcare etc, but if they want to come we would love them to be there. We've had a few people respond really positively and RSVP'd and booked rooms already, but many have not replied yet. I expect this is because they are waiting to see how they feel nearer to the time, and as our RSVP date in September this is fine with me. We just wanted to give people plenty of notice by sending the invites out early.

With regards to day / night invites we worked on the basis 'were we or would we expect to be day or night to their wedding' and any who we weren't sure about we ended up playing it safe and inviting them to the day.

If I was 'only' an evening guest (and I don't mean anything by that) and it was far away and I had work the next day then in all honesty I probably wouldn't come. However if I was off work then I would.

If I was a good friend then I would expect I would be invited to the whole thing, in which case I would either try to wangle a day off or else just leave the reception a bit earlier and go to work feeling tired!

If it was local and I could easily drive or cheaply get a taxi home at a decent hour, and I was only invited to the evening then I would be there no question.

I would go to an evening reception on a weekday, as long as I could get the day off after or was on a late shift, I would deffinatley make more effort to go as it is a special occasion and not just a trip to the pub on a school night!!

The caterers are pretty flexible so I'm sure they'll be fine with catering for a percentage in the evening. I think I'd prefer to splash out more on the wedding breakfast and serve something special as all our close friends and family will be there. Also I have family members (uncles, cousins etc) that are coming from further field and grandparents who I don't think will stay late enough for the evening buffet so I'd want to share a special meal with them. Our evening guest are going to be distant relatives, colleagues and not-so-close friends.

One of the cost effective options the caterers have previously suggested to me for the evening meal was hot pork baps. They said that they would bring pork joints out, carve it infront of the guests and serve it with salad and all the trimmings i.e apple sauce etc. I think it would come to around £6 per head. Would evening guests be happy with that or is it still not sufficient enough?

Thanks for all your help and advice so far!

I'd be happy with pork baps, but don't forget the veggies (if there are any in your party). Friends of ours did something similar with a cheese board type thing plus cake.

Helloo I'm a Tuesday bride - 8th Jan 2013!

I started off thinking the same as you but now I'm not planning any differently to if my wedding was on a sataday tbh, apart from i've sent STDs out where I prob wouldn't have if it was a wkend...

Family & friends will want to come whatever day it is. It's your wedding - it's not a 'chore' to go cos it's not on a Sataday. anyone who thinks otherwise I wouldn't be too fussed about them being there anyway! :-P (apart from those that live far away)

You can also ask your evening guests to RSVP when you send their invitations, i'm sending them 3 months before so people have enough notice so it is poss to get an idea of numbers.

As with all weddings regardless of the day they're on - the people that really want to be there will whatever you throw at them!

GL with ur plans

Thanks! I think I need to get this Thursday-Wedding-Blues out of my head and like you said, just arrange it like I would if it was a weekend and let the people decide whether they will want to come or not.

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It might be handy to have as much notice as possible for a weekday. We're having everything on a Saturday and sent invites out about 7 to 8 months in advance. I was really surprised that a few people had already booked holidays, or booked up all their annual leave. I'm never that organised so it never crossed my mind that it wasn't enough notice, I was thinking it was a bit early! For a weekday, when more people will need to book holiday from work, the more notice the better. I already have some fixed events at work for December! Sad but true!