timings and food worry.

I would not change anything. If I was going to your wedding I would be eating a late breakfast anyway. If some guests are travelling a log way they will probably have a snack in the car or a stop off.

Stop stressing about everyone else. These things always just work themselves out :-)

I'm more concerned about the 4 hours between afternoon tea and BBQ. How is that time going to be filled?

The reason I ask is because my sister had afternoon tea at 4pm and we were all finished, speeches and cake cut by 5:30pm... we then had to hang around for 2 hours before the evening reception started.

If you have something to fill that time, then it sounds perfect. If not, I'd just bear in mind that an afternoon tea doesn't take as long as a 3 course meal.

I have almost exact same timings as you! I have said WB at 3:30 and will make it clear we will be back from the church by 2:15 for an hour's drinks (no canapés either as I'm hoping people will have a brunch) and that I want to be sitting down ready to eat at 3:30. For me it's more because the children have got event nannies turning up at 4:30 to whisk them off for fun and games and I want to make sure they eat first! I am going to explain this to the venue. There's no harm in asking for lighter nibbles rather than canapés, ours do this but I'm still not forking out over the odds for kettle chips and nuts! Just stick with your timings, it all sounds fine.

If your budget does not stretch to canapes could you not maybe have some other savoury snacks like nuts, olives, etc

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Well the rest of the timetable goes like this:

4pm Afternoon tea

5pm Speeches (there are 3 speeches, my mum, D and the best man, and then I might stand up and say a quick thank you too)

5.30pm/5.45pm Cake cutting

5.45-7pm people can mingle, chat, play garden games, go and get checked in at their hotel, D and I will probably have some more photos done and there will be background music on as well.

7pm evening do starts

8pm BBQ.

Do you reckon thats ok? There will only be about an hour between the cake cutting and evening do starting but a lot of our guests are staying at a hotel down the road and might want to check in etc.

Nicalf, thats interesting to hear. I think if they come back to us again and refuse to drop the price any more on canapes then I will ask for nuts and kettle chips to be put out. If they charge the earth for that I will ask if I can bring my own and just ask for them to be put out. I can get them from flipping Macro or Costco for next to nothing.

I think perhaps you might all be right about not changing the timings. I just don't want our guests to be absolutely trollied by the time it gets to 4pm. Some of our friends can be a bit silly on the drink unfortunately.

I would agree with others - don't change a thing. People expect to go to weddings and have some food a few hours later. lots of people don't offer canapes and I'm sure people will be filled enough with the afternoon tea to carry them through to the BBQ

how often do you go to weddings/xmas parties and get so stuffed by the time you get to the dessert you don't want to get up and dance!

your way of doing it is a nicer and more relaxed way - people will enjoy the change from the norm

xx

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Thanks

I think i'm worrying because D is worrying. He is constantly hungry bless him (he' such a teenager in a mans body ?) and he is worried about it getting to 4pm and him being starving hungry. Plus he has the same worry as me about a couple of his mates who are big drinkers. I keep trying to explain to him that he won't even notice it on the day as hopefully he'll be so caught up in the moment of being with me (i think this is wishful thinking on my part!)

Because I'm a worrier, I would definitely be concerned about my guests going hungry. It's the sole reason we provided Canapes. The time that you have allocated for your TOG will probably go over, I have been to a fair few weddings where it has felt like a lifetime when the bride and groom are dragged off for pics and you do get hungry because you don't really have any food until the wedding breakfast. If you can't afford to have canapes then so be it, but I would try and provide some form of nibbles because it is a long time before your sit down meal and with every wedding I have been to including my own timings do run over.

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This is what my OH worries about, so we are providing canapes.

Most people will have something to eat before they get there for 1pm. However I would provide some kind of nibbles during the drinks reception as if they miss lunch then yes it is a while to wait. If I couldn't afford canapes, I would do exactly as you thought and buy in bulk at costco and sort it myself rather than paying the venue's prices if I wasn't happy with the cost.

I am very much concerned about my guests going hungry. I don't want to move the times, what would be ideal would be if the venue budged on the price! They normally charge £6 per head for four canapes per person. What she said they would do was cater for 50 at £4.50 per head. We have 74 days guests invited and that means roughly 2 canapes per person. When you then divide the price by 74 people instead of just 50 that leaves you with £3 per person for 2 canapes each. Not a reduction in price at all, all they have done is halved the number of canapes and the price and tried to word it carefully to make it sound like a good deal. I am however not stupid and have told them that I don't agree with their pricing structure and that I think they need to seriously reconsider their offer to us. I haven't heard back from them yet.

Our timings aren't that different to yours other than our ceremony is half an hour later.

1:30-2:30 Ceremony

2:30-3:00 Photos

3:00-3:30 Travel

3:30- 5:00 Drinks reception (with singer)

5:00-5:30 Speeches

5:30-6:30 Afternoon Tea

7:00 First dance (with singer)

7:45 DJ starts

8:00 BBQ

The thing that we decided to do was hire an ice cream bike for during our drinks reception works our cheap than canapes and I think it is quite fun. Could you do something like that? I personally wouldn't cut your drinks reception short as you will want some photos and it would leave a big gap between the afternoon tea and the evening.

What do you mean by cut our drinks reception short? You seem to be contradicting yourself?

You're in a similar situation to me. Ceremony 12:30 (an hour) then onto reception, with WB at 15:30 after 1.5hour drinks/photos. And no canapes.

My parents and OH parents seem worried about the canape situation but I don't think I really care!! I agree they are too expensive to justify (and barely fill you up). They'll get a full 3 course dinner at 15:30 and they can have a big breakfast/lunch beforehand (although given they aren't aware of canape situ I don't expect they will). If they're really concerned, there's a McD's next to the church (classy!) they can nip to on the way to the reception, or the reception venue has a public shop and cafe (it's a National Trust place).

I am also more worried about the time between dinner and the evening do at 7pm. We've not got any specific entertainment laid on (only garden/board games) so bit worried people will get bored. Equally so, don't want to pay £400 for some harpist or something.

That will teach me not to check before I post! Forgot the *n't* edited now ?

Specify in your wedding invitation info that the afternoon tea will not be served until 4pm and therefore you advise guests to have a hearty snack before coming to the wedding. It is then up to them to not go too hungry.

I agree with the above! I think even though it's our day we have to make sure people are fed and watered. I have the same timings as you and am having drinks reception with canapes and an ice cream cart (going to be peoples favours) we are then having a 3 course sit down meal at 4.30 and then food in the evening.

Each to their own opinion but i think you need to give them something!

A couple of my friends have married where there has been nothing until the evening meal and it's just too long for guests and little people. I know there are budgets etc but for me it's essentil and not something to budge on.

what about thinking about cheaper options just as choc covered strawberries, fresh cream scones etc...

Hope that helps x

We're getting married at 1pm, out by 1.30pm for drinks reception and then sit down meal at 3.30pm. I don't think we can afford canapes as well but I might see about bowls of crisps/nuts.

We went to a wedding recently with similar timings which was fine but it's the not knowing when you're eating bit which is more of a problem so with that in mind I'm building a wedding website with plan of the day on so people can see beforehand when they're going to get fed.

I think most people will eat a big breakfast and parents will bring snacks for LO's, I do.

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I don't really want to put these kind of things on as they are included in the afternoon tea and makes it a little pointless really. I'm inclined towards asking if we can put out peanuts, olives, kettle chips and maybe some bread and oils.

We've already put in our information that Afternoon tea is being served at 4pm and its also on our wedding website.

Also we don't have to worry about children as there won't be any. Its an adults only wedding.

Those timings sound fine to me. Our ceremony was at 2pm and over by 2.30, we sat down to eat at 4pm and the guests managed to last in that time. We diddnt have any canapes on offer (because we are tight/skint*) and no one said anything- or if they were hungry they just got on with it.

I always worry that sometimes it looks worse to have a small amount of food than none? Sorry if that gives you something extra to worry about.

I don't think you will have much to worry about.Although at one point I too had been contemplating with our timings, i have settled on them now though knowing they should work out. Ours looks something like this:-

We get married at 4pm 1hr ceremony.

We are having half hour photo's at the church (only 4o) people coming there so photo's shouldn't take too long.

we arrive at evening venue from 5.30 onwards (with welcome drink waiting ) More photo's here.

Afternoon tea at 6pm

Speeches 6.30pm

Band 7pm-8pm

BBQ 8pm (background music)

Cut cake at 8.45

First dance at 9pm & disco till end.

I think you can gently suggest to people that they should eat first, but in all honesty canapes aren't filling so I've always eaten just before a wedding ceremony as you know there won't be much food until a few hours later.

I know it's not relevant for you but I'm having a 1.30pm ceremony (all in one venue so no travel time) and we're doing sandwiches as a mini tea straight after as the wedding breakfast isn't until 4.30-5pm. I can see there's no point you doing it as you're having an afternoon tea but just an idea for anyone else, I was worrying about it for ages!

J x

Here are our timings, what does everyone think?

1:30pm - Ceremony at the church 2:15pm - Photos at the church 3:00pm - Cakey canapes and drinks at the reception venue (approx 20 mins drive from the church) 4:30pm - Food! (one main course with the cake served as dessert) 5:30pm - Speeches 7:00pm - Evening guests arrive 11:30pm - End of the evening - stagger/taxi home

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This is good to know. Perhaps having no canapes is the way forward then, I don't want people to have only two canapes each and go 'oh how cr@p'. I know at least two uncles will say this no matter what we do and FiL will probably find something to whinge about. The venue still haven't got back to me so i'm just going to give it up as a no go and people will just have to be sensible with the alcofrol.

My sister and a friend of hers done food at teh church after the ceromony, wiould this be somethig that your church would let you do? everyone ate whilst there where pictures being taken so everyoen had a bit of time to have something, she enrolled family and friends to help make the food and it went down really well. x

Well the venue have come back with the reply that the price is non-negotiable and tried to reiterate the same sums to me again, despite me having already pointed out that they haven't actually changed the price just halved the number of canapes for 74 people. Plus it wasn't even our wedding co-ordinator who replied, it was someone else that i've never even met which has pi**ed me right off.

So there will be no canapes. And I am sitting on my hands so I don't fire off a rude email telling them where to stuff their stupid little canapes.

Good for you, how dare they insult your intelligence?! I haven't asked my venue if they can negotiate and I don't think they will budge anyway but I realised this morning if I paid for three measly canapés for each guest it would cost £500 ? forget it they can starve and moan all they like!

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Exactly! I think that they think just because i'm a young girl planning a wedding I obviously have no brains. I have half a mind to take my two degree certificates and show them to them, show them the maths and then tell them to stick the whole wedding up their backsides. But I think thats PMT talking ?

£500 for three canapes each is ridiculous! our venue wanted to charge similar, £6 per person for all 74 guests. Apparently £4.50 per person for 50 guests is a 'compromise'.

Stupid Hitched ate my reply!!

We had a 12.30pm church ceremony and 4pm wedding breakfast. No canapes.

We put a line in the invites which said "we will not be serving food until late afternoon, so if you are anything like the Groom, make sure you have a hearty breakfast."

No problems.

If it is Mr DWC you are worried about, stash a sarnie somewhere for him!!

Thanks Mrs C. Invites only have the line about afternoon tea being served at 4pm. Wish i'd done a slightly more detailed information sheet now, but people can phone/email if they have questions about it.

I'll think about stashing some peantus in the wedding car for D ?