To elope or not elope!?

Our wedding is going to be close family members, then only 3 or 4 friends.

We had a moment where we thought about eloping to Gretna Green, as money sadly doesn't grow on trees - and I'd still be happy to do this - but we know that it would not go down well with our family. Our parents would be very disappointed to not be able to see us get married.

I think you need to consider whether it will cause rifts if you elope, rather than if you get married at home.

We went to Gretna (you can see it in my report) and after originally planning to elope, we had eleven guests, all immediate family. You can still have a very small wedding without it being a true elopement.

Originally we had a larger wedding planned, but various family issues made us scale things right back.

Personally i'd have loved to elope, it would be my ideal and even now, it's what i'd prefer to do.

As is, we are having a small wedding- 14 of us including myself and my OH as he wanted his parents/siblings there.

As ID said, you can have a very small wedding if you do not want to leave your family or best friends out?

We got married with 2 witnesses (my 2 best friends), and my 2 kids. We told everyone afterwards, that we had got married.

My family is huge and OHs is split in two like your ohs. We decided to go abroad and there will be 15 of us in total going. Only his brother from his family are going and only my immediate family and our closest friends are invited. We are having a larger party a month after for everyone who can't attend but we found this has made things so much simpler! No drama over table plans as there aren't any! No guest drama as if they haven't booked their flight by now we doubt they will come! It is sad his mum and dad cannot attend but we will be skipping them and the party after is really for his family not mine. Only you know if it is an option for you but I know I couldn't have done it without my parents and his parents blessings x

I took a look at your report earlier

I just find it hard because I do get on with his family and he loves them and would probably like them to be involved but we can't have one half there and not the other without. I just don't want OH to resent me because (putting it bluntly) his family situation is messed up and mine isn't.

I love the idea of eloping but in reality couldn't do it without my family.

Would your OH's family really not be able to behave for just 1 day? It seems so unfair on you guys and your family :-(

I went abroad with parents, siblings and bridesmaids....13 in total and it was perfect x

I was going to suggest going abroad- invite everyone, and then people have an excuse not to come.

Or just sit down with your OH and have a frank discussion about who your essentials are- and invite them, and them only. Forget about obligation and pick who you actually want there.

There's a fantastic wedding report on here about an elopement... let me find it... :https://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/447965.aspx I love this, they had a dream worthy day, full wedding dress and professional photographer combo without it seeming like just jeans in a registry office. They went to Paris for goodness sake! ? friends of mine have jetted off to Toronto to get hitched, also another couple got married last month with just five people in New York City. So many options.

I was also going to link to that elopement report but Nimsay beat me to it! Eloping can be completely amazing by the sounds of things.

If your OH freely admits that his family is complicated, I don't think he would resent you for having a family that still talks to each other. His family's situation isn't your fault! I think if it were me, I'd have a small wedding with your immediate family and bridesmaids, then have a party that everyone can come to, and if his family have to stand at opposite ends of the room, then so be it.

If we could go back I would love to elope and do something totally awesome!

I actually wish we'd decided to do this with a couple of good friends as witnesses. Its too late now, but after all the faff - I'll not go into details - I'd prefer to have sado F-Em and spent the rest of the money (and its not a huge amount) on us.

I'm eloping to Lapland in January!

everyone knows we are going on holiday but so far no one knows we are getting married there. Just two friends are coming with us.

we are marrying at Levi Ice chapel with a photographer and I have a wedding dress. Of course I want to arrive by reindeer sleigh.

after much debating we decided to tell people before we go rather than sending them a photo but I'm waiting till nearer the time. I'm giving no one chance to interfere in my plans.

i would add that I'm older (58) and this isn't our first wedding so less likely to cause major problems with people, well actually yes it will with some people. They will have to live with it. MIL won't fly anyway and dads now in a wheelchair so Lapland isn't suitable.

I recently had cancer and this wedding is for us not for anyone else. Think I will tell everyone in September as it's becoming hard not to drop something out or tell people.

IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!

Last year I went to an engagement party which turned out to be a surprise wedding. We all turned up for what we thought was lunch and a few drinks with the couple and then at the end of the lunch they got up and said, we wanted to tell you all we have set a date... And it's right now, then we all went down the road to the registery office. They had everything planned but just didn't tell anyone. I wonder if something like that might work for you because everyone will be so shocked they won't have time to argue!

I love that but my wedding is all booked for the ice chapel in Levi in Lapland. I have decided to tell everyone llate September using the excuse we want to make sure my check up is clear before we announce it but making it clear it's during my bucket list holiday and its a private and intimate ceremony for just us.

But what a perfect plan for someone who isn't engaged yet and knows they want a small wedding ceremony and no interference in plans! Let's be honest everyone wants to put their tenpenceworth in.

this is my regain.strength year between finishing treatment and going so I needed stress free. Although I am.dying to tell everyone I'm holding off a bit longer before my mum starts to find fault . I know her so well. She has the big family wedding next year for my niece and yes she's already finding fault with that!