Too many kids coming to the wedding

Hey, your story sounds so similar to mine - we’ve got 5 kids so far - 4 of my nieces/nephew and FH’s kid. We’ve just found out that one my SIL is having another - due about a month before the wedding. Tbh, I’m happier with a new born than an older kid - new borns don’t need entertaining and won’t run anything. In my experience, mums of new borns are super conscious of the kid getting in the way - babies are also easy to take away from a room and can’t make their own way back! Also, it’s it’s your FH’s niece/nephew, can make it hard to say no (although that obviously depends on your family dynamics!).


For the ceremony, I’d suggest you ask the mum to sit at the back and step out if it cries - I doubt anyone would object to that (or even ask nicely if she can skip the ceremony - it doesn’t take long!) after that, do you have anywhere at the venue that it can sleep with a baby monitor?

View quoted message Thanks yeah my fiance wants all his family there were having a register Office wedding I didn't think of asking if they could sit at the back I don't want it to seem I'm being nasty if I tell them they have to sit at the back I'm not sure if there be anywhere for baby to sleep with it being a register Office I could ask them thanks for your advice I was just really stick on what to say to them without sounding nasty

View quoted message I really doubt a new mum would be comfortable with her baby crying through your ceremony. I’d say something like, “FH and I really want you there but I am aware the baby is/will be only x weeks old. Would it be ok if you sat near the door so that you can take him/her out if necessary?” I hope the conversation goes smoothly!

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Yes with this Jane is spot on

"Im happier with a new born than an older kid - new borns don’t need entertaining and won’t run anything. In my experience, mums of new borns are super conscious of the kid getting in the way - babies are also easy to take away from a room and can’t make their own way back!"

But I don't think you need to ask them to sit at the back because they will be thinking along the same lines themselves, I see it all the time with the pushchairs at the back. Or on the outside of the row of chairs (not isle side) its almost instinct that they chooses those spots.

Also you say they are due early July and your wedding is on the 30th, the birth could quite easily be 1 or 2 weeks later than anticipated and so with a 2 week old baby they may not even be coming to the wedding. Or if they do then they will be feeding the baby and so may not be in the room at the time of the ceremony.

You may find that SIL is unable to come anyway - if the baby is late and/or she has a difficult birth, she may not be up to attending a wedding just a couple of weeks later. But if she is, I don't think you can exclude her. It would be very hurtful.

Most new mothers are very conscious of any noise their baby might make, so she will probably want to sit somewhere where she can get out quickly anyway. But just in case she's one of the very rare mums who don't feel that way, I'd phrase it something like this. "Hi, SIL, would it be helpful if we reserved a seat for you near the door in case you need to take baby out during the ceremony?" That way, you are phrasing it as a concern for her and her baby and not as a worry that the baby is going to spoil your wedding. Also, it might be helpful to find out what space might be available at the reception if she needs somewhere quiet to feed the baby.

I've been to a few weddings which have had newborns at them, and they have never been a problem. One wedding I went to had month-old twins and unless you were sitting on their table, you wouldn't even have known they were there! Older kids are far more likely to cause problems.

Thank you everyone for your advice I think I will just have a chat with them both and say they can come if they feel up to it as I know being first time parents is hard work at times we will save them seats just so they know there not being pushed aside but explain if they need to go out and feed baby then they can we will seat them near a door if needs be the reception in a pub so I'm not sure on what they'll be doing but will have a conversation with them thank u again everyone

Just from our own kids and our brothers and sisters, we have around 18 already on the list.. not including cousins and their children.. if you don’t want children say no kids… if you want a few say you only want a few it’s your day, but for us kids have to be there, they’re family, they are part of it and each one of the more excited than the next …

We are having our one daughter and 5 nieces and nephews who are all part of the bridal party and that is it. Kids can add serious cost and take up places if you have limited nbets and I think most people these days are OK to to get invite without kids family kids are usually invited as it could be an issue to get a sitter if all the family are at the wedding so that's hwrte we made the cut off. Regards a baby, as others have said, seat her at the back so she cam duck out if needed, am sure she will happily do that as she wouldn't want baby crying 5onruin your day, just have the convo and I am pretty sure it will all be fine