Too many problems what do I do?

If you're due to get married in June 2018, I would probably put off planning until your husband is fully recovered, and your place to live is sorted. In other words, take the next 9 months off. This will de-stress you and your husband. His health and well-being needs to be the top priority.

If you decide to continue planning, I would have a step back and figure out whether or not what you're worried about is worth the stress. For example, your partner is concerned about money, and you say you can't cut back any further but then list several issues were costs could be saved - e.g. bridal car, volume of flowers, etc. Your wedding day is going to be amazing regardless of which path you follow.

From a practical perspective, my florist did all of my flowers - three bouquets, button holes/corsages, 24 table flowers, and hunted down hydrangeas at the end of season. She did it all by herself and had industrial refrigerators to preserve the hydrangeas which were not looking too flash. She managed to perk them up and remove any daggy bits. They were so lovely on the day. Also, I sorted out my flowers a few months before we got married.

Best of luck, and I hope your husband makes a speedy recovery.

I think there are lots of different issues (as with all wedding stress) but the most important is of course your oh health. Stressing about the wedding and being able to afford it will do him no good. I agree with Ash that taking some non planning time would probably be the best and then look at options. For instance lots of savings can be made by moving the wedding to a cheaper time of year or cheaper day of the week if you are able to move your booking and deposits.

He may make a much quicker recovery once your housing issues are finalised. Have you looked at other rentals incase you have to leave?

Regarding your family and his family it's the joy of wedding planning! You I'll never please everyone.

I agree your florist list seems a lot for one person dealing with fresh flowers. So if Mum wants to help and be involved then I don't think if you put it like that your MIL has reason to be offended. MIL could still do yours and bridesmaids. Possibly some of the flowers could be silk allowing them to be done by MIL in advance? Also going back to cost savings some flowers could double up. So alter arrangement be moved to top table and centrepieces be gifts for people you wish to thank etc. Pew ends could be simple pinterest has some lovely ideas and a lot don't involve any or very few flowers. And of course which flowers you chose make a massive difference to the bill.

Lots of ways to save money ? and come the time if you find you don't need to stick o a lower budget you have more money for other things.

Could step dad to a reading at the wedding? You don't say how long he has been your step dad but if he expected to give you away I assume a long time. Could he also do a stepfather of the bride speach.

I hope your oh is back to full health soon xx

In total honesty - I can understand from your OH prospective. A wedding of 10 thousand pounds is an incredible amount of money, and to put into a bit of prospective your wedding would be about 22 months from now you need circa £450 a month to put into the wedding to be able to afford your vision. Right now, I don't see that as a practical aim. I am not in anyway blaiming whats happened to him on you - however - I think this is stress he doesnt need hun.

How much money do you need to find taking the amounts already paid into account?

I honestly feel - and I don't mean any offence to brides here who have a special car for the day, you certainly do not need the wedding car. I drove myself to my wedding (yes, really) I got ready there though. No, I don't think you should have his mum do the flowers if they are not fresh, however, I do ask you - do you reallllly need all those flowers?! That could save you a huge chunk of money from the overall bill to either restrict to bridal bouquet bridesmaids and button holes. Or I used foam roses and honestly people don't believe they are foam when I show them and it saved me an absoloute bomb.

In your heart of hearts - do you really need a wedding this grand?

Why are you stressing your OH with planning a wedding right now... just for perspective, we got engaged in may and are getting married in september for £5000 (which is more than double a lot of people I knows budget) and we have nothing booked yet and our multiple planning tools say not to worry about it until at least december (currently just looking at different venues on the weekend)

apart from possibly booking a venue there is nothing you can do right now for a wedding in 2018, you shouldnt book vendors as they can go bancrupt or completely change/get bought out in a year and a half, you shouldnt pick bridesmaids or dresses as situations completely change, stressing over flowers is rediculous this early on as you cant do anything with them until JUST before the wedding

I think you need to just chill out, focus on your OH health and listen to him about his concerns, money is a joint issue whenn your marrying and you cant decide a budget alone, if £10k is too much for him then you need to change to a more realistic expectation

I agree with the others. Your partner's health and having a roof over your head are way more important than a wedding.

Thank you everyone for your advice. To be honest, no we don't need one that grand, I just love the thought of everything being perfect with lots of lovely flowers and pretty things and everyone will get on and have fun, reality normally isn't like that though.

OH is getting there it's just slow (5 months so far) and we can't do anything about the house, it's gone quiet for now but the thought still lingers. We did have a quick look about but OH doesn't like change so we have just said we are staying full stop so we don't have to worry about it. We have been here 3 1/2 years and decorated etc so it feels like home. The wedding planning was initially to keep the excitement there and a distraction from the bad bits.

It is a lot of money it is a deposit on a house! I've known another couple to spend 20,000 on a wedding (apparently they are getting a divorce in less than one year of being married!) so anything less than that seemed better but it is so much money!

i think we have paid just over a grand so far so got a long way to go yet. Me and mum sat down together today and went over what was necessary and what wasn't, and I'm going to see how much it would be to buy some fabric from eBay/Amazon and make some table cloths and runners to save there, and sell them afterwards instead of renting. Going to see if I can make the save the dates and invites too. OH's dad is hoping to help towards the marquee, my dad has threatened to help and mum is already helping so I'm hoping it feels easier soon. I'm buying the decorations for the barn and not getting someone else to do it so that won't take much, it's just everything added together that's a lot.

How are you managing to do it all for 5000? I think it's the marquee that's the worse bit as that's 1,800 arghh! I got three separate quotes for that too he was the cheapest!!

Saved by not having a marquee... I personally hate them, just over priced tents to me and often impractal as we have lots of infirm guest and 'off roading' isnt great for them, we are getting married in the country and I want to see the amazing views not have white plastic walls

to be honest the biggest way to save money is to avoid 'wedding' things, we looked mostly at non wedding venues that hold functions, they often do receptions/christenings/large parties but charge a fraction of the price (basically free hire so just catering)

be careful DIYing, it often costs more in the long run when you add the expenses together

Yes that's true, price diy before buying.

i know what you mean about white walls, the barn is in the middle of the village surrounded by old stone walls but next to the owners very large garden where we can have photos taken, I think she has a lake/large pond! The marquee will have large windows so plenty of light at least, but if we had views I think I would of done it differently.

The church is around £750, the barn is £400, the marquee is £1850, food £1850, hence why it has added up. The rest is outfits, decor etc.

Can I just ask why you need the barn AND marquee?

can you not just use the barn?

if its a set up thing you could hire some people cheaper to switch it over instead of hiring a marquee and your guests could have drinks in the courtyard or garden or by the pond during the switch over time

It's size mainly, it is only licensed for 50 people. There are over 50 people who are coming to the main event then some friends coming later in the evening who we would really like to come. The DJ needs to go in the barn for noise reduction which would leave not very much room for tables and chairs. It's a nice barn but floor space for tables is getting a little tight which would mean prob only 30-40 people so it wasn't going to work.

My OH and I aren't getting married until April 2018, so far we have booked nothing, I've only bought a dress because I hate white and I hate paying over the odds for things so I'm altering a bargain bin (albeit lovely) ivory gown that the dress shop felt was a little old fashioned and plain. My family have from day one been against almost every aspect of my wedding and it's a pain I understand. You've already got so much more sorted out than us and you've got more time, I'd stop worrying about your wedding and take care of health first. Then review your spending and budget, if you're worried about the state of the flowers, fabric ones can be as beautiful and a lot cheaper, they also are unlikely to wilt! There are many options to consider don't get flustered.

Another way to lesson the cost could be to cut guest numbers if you can, my OH and I really like a venue which has maximum numbers of 40 so we've had to be less free with morning invites, but it does cut costs. Maybe you could use the barn and invite less people (just a thought). The food bill is as much as your marquee, is there any way of cutting that? I don't know what you're having so I don't know if that's possible but worth a mention. You've got plenty of time to sort things out so just stress less and give yourself time to help him recover.