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Isabella
Beginner February 2025 West Sussex

Too soon to get married?

Isabella, 6 of January of 2023 at 19:59 Posted on Planning 0 8
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Hello everyone!


I need some advice..


my partner and i have been together nearly 9 years. We got engaged on 9th sep 2022. I have already started planning our wedding (14/2/25) and have booked flowers and fun photobooth plus registrar and venue). I was speaking to my partner today about potential photographers and he has said to me that he wasn't expecting everything to be planned so quickly and that he was expecting us to be engaged for a few years.He has also said he feels like he cant be excited because its so far away.

i am currently on maternity leave after having our 2nd baby and currently money is a slight issue but i'm in the process of saving the remaining money for the rest of the payments due closer to our wedding.

i have to admit i have jumped straight into wedding planning because i am just do excited! I came from a broken, toxic home and divorced parents, so i want my children to remember our wedding day and to start a very happy and healthy marriage.


I feel slightly down that he doesn't feel as excited as i am and doesn't really want ot help with wedding planning. Is this normal? am i just overreacting?


Thanks in advance Smiley heart

8 replies

Latest activity by Timothyecorp, 18 of January of 2023 at 21:51
  • L
    Curious September 2023 Lincolnshire
    Lauren ·
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    I think it's pretty standard for the groom to be less excited about wedding planning. Take a look around this forum, not a lot of grooms about haha. My future husband doesn't complain but I can tell he gets a bit fed up if I overdo it on the wedding talk so I try to reel it in so he can still enjoy it, in his own way.
    On the plus side being extra on top of things isn't a bad thing. Especially if you're wedding is on Valentine's Day, you'll need to nab the best suppliers early.
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  • Isabella
    Beginner February 2025 West Sussex
    Isabella ·
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    Yes this is what I mean! Thank goodness I’m not the only one. I’m a super organised person anyway and as you say with it being Valentine’s Day it can go very quickly! 2025 believe it or not is already starting to get booked up with suppliers so I like to make sure I have everything sorted and not leave it till the last minute! I’m glad it’s not just us then❤️
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  • S
    Rockstar April 2023 West London
    Sarah ·
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    I guess it’s the different ways people can interpret engagements: some take it as “we’re declaring that we intend to marry” while others take it as “we’re now ready to plan our wedding”. Neither are wrong, just different ways of looking at it,

    In your circumstance it might be worth giving him some kind of timeline of which bits you’ll need to do when, and indicate when he needs to start getting more involved - then you can get on with things until then, knowing you’ve kind of given him permission to sit back so you won’t be upset by it, and then when it gets to that point he can join you and you can have a lovely last few months finalising details together.

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  • Isabella
    Beginner February 2025 West Sussex
    Isabella ·
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    This sounds like a great idea and something I hadn’t thought of. This will definitely work for us! Thank you for commenting! X
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  • L
    Dedicated September 2023 Derbyshire
    Lizzie ·
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    My friend (male) said "Women have weddings, men get married". I thought that was quite a good way of explaining it! I was mildly put out that my fiancé wasn't very excited either, but it's his 2nd marriage and he hasn't been well so I suppose it's partly that too. He us excited, just in his own way!
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  • Isabella
    Beginner February 2025 West Sussex
    Isabella ·
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    I love this outlook! Thank you, ours my mind at ease. I thought it him but this does make sense. 🤍
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  • Sarah
    Rockstar August 2024 Warwickshire
    Sarah ·
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    Typical reaction from a male I’d say! 😂 equally, I must admit I’m not a classic type a bride and I hate anything to do with planning. My OH is the more sensible organised one. I get where he is coming from, it is all very sudden and intense but it’s just the way it is. To “be engaged a few years first” still requires planning now as people are always two years ahead Smiley smile x
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  • Isabella
    Beginner February 2025 West Sussex
    Isabella ·
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    Yes this is what I mean 😂 I’m so organised it’s unbelievable especially when it comes to our special day! Thank you anyway, you’ve put my mind at ease! Xx
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