Top table

I would say just chat to your parents and explain the situation, we’re doing a sweetheart table and everyone has been behind us about it. I bet that everyone just wants you to be happy and won’t mind! Go with a sweetheart table

The answer is not to have a "top table" but just have all round tables, with the 8 of you on one table. But then it depends on the groomsmen and bridesmaids partners if they have them. You could just have a table with you and them with partners and Mum and Dad could be on another family table, maybe in a seating position right next to you.

Or its another vote for a sweetheart table.

I'm not having a top table! Parents have been a little bit annoying about it, but ultimately it was our decision, and we didn't want to sit away from all our friends so we've opted for long tables instead. It's hard balancing things when wedding planning because parents more or less always had incredibly traditional ones, but that doesn't mean that you have to stick to tradition.

It's your day, so think about what would make you both happiest!! Everyone else will understand

Maybe look at seating options that don't have a top table (it's amazing how many variations on seating venues do!). Or if you really want a top table, then your groom can think about whether there's close friends, or other family members he'd like to have next to him, while you have your parents.

If the only reason against a sweetheart table is fear of upsetting your parents, why not talk to them about it? While they might enjoy sitting with you on your wedding day, I'm sure they'll appreciate how hard it would be for your fiance, as it would really emphasise the absence of his own parents.

We did a sweetheart table - we could have had my husbands mum and my parents - but we decided we actually wanted that bit of time to spend just together. It was so nice to eat and just observe the people and day together - not having to socialise for all of it. It was a nice mental break - we didn’t really give anyone a choice to tell us their opinion - but they all got it anyway when we framed it as a bit of “us” time.

So you would not want the table set up for the two of you only? Have a think about it. I think it would be good for you . I like the idea of having a table for us to only while we can look at all our guests and have our own space to eat.


Hope you set your date soon and get pass this. You got this wishing you all the luck it's an exciting time!=)

Rather than a sweetheart table you could look at doing longer trestle tables and sit with both your family and friends - less traditional but more fun?!