Top Table: large family / divorce etc etc

There is indeed a traditional pattern but it doesn't really matter - you can put people on the top table wherever you like.

Have you heard about the 'sweetheart table' idea? It's just you and your partner on a small table, and that's it - no top table as such. What usually happens then is that the various people (parents, ushers, MoH etc) with their relevant partners 'host' a big table each.

I have a similar problem with 3 sets of parents altogether, but they're happy to sit on the top table together as it's long since water under the bridge.

Hi,

I've got a similar problem so to solve it we are having no top table, one hosted by me and H2B, one hosted by H2B's parents, another by my Mum and her partner, then my Dad and his partner, one hosted by my MOH & partner and one by BM & partner.

Hoping that as well as easing any tensions, this may make everyone feel a bit special and more part of the wedding.

Just something to think about.

The last wedding I went to the top table was in a U shape almost. So on the main table was bride's mum, Groom, Bride, bride's dad. Then there were two tables sticking out of this main table. The groom's parents were sat on opposite sides so they faced each other and not sat together. Next to the groom's mum was Best Man, and then next to groom's dad was Chief Bridesmaid.

We're planning on having a table for just me, OH and daughter, as I have too many problems with my family that it's just easiest for us.

In the brochure that our caterers gave us they had a few seating plans for things like this, we're in exactly the same situation, throw in to the mix my brother giving me away and not wanting to make my fab mum conscious that she's on her own... its a minefield!!

i'm in work at the min, but when i get home i'll get the brochure out and let you know what it suggests!!

I am in a similar situation to you, I have:

3 sisters one of whom is a total nightmare!

My dad

My dad's partner

My Mum

Grooms parents

MOH

BM

My Mum and Dad don't get on - they won't argue but I know it will be awkward! I have decided to sit my dad's partner on a seperate table, I love her to bits but she is not my parent and I feel that justhaving my parents at the top table is enough! Dad's partner is fine with this and will happily sit with my sister's husband and some friends. Dad is fine with this and it will mean that Mum doesn't feel as awkward.

I don't expect my parents to be friends but they both love me and I know they'll respect that it's my day, they are both adults and are able to sit at the same table with me and h2b in between them - they don't have to speak to each other!

It's your day - do what you feel is best, don't worry about pleasing everyone else!

Both of our parents are divorced and all except MIL are remarried.

We didn't want a formal top table (as in a long line) as we felt we were just there on show, it would draw attention to family disfunction and felt that long tables are antisocial...

We had a round table in the middle of all the others with the Bride, Groom, MOB, MOG, FOB, FOG, CBM and Best Man. Partners sat on their own tables with other siblings, cousins etc.

We're having this.

Not particularly because of any family disagreements, but there's only 50 of us altogether so two of us on one table and the six tables of eight - perfect!

I didn't want to split partners up, my dad wont be there, OH's mum & dad are no longer with us so I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that he's an 'orphan' on our big day, etc, etc. It was the best option for us.

Now that we've decided I actually think I will love some quiet time with OH to eat our meal and catch up having not seen each other overnight, also I reckon I'll be a bit overwhelmed so it will be good chill out time.

Obviously, between courses we'll probably have to do the rounds and chat to everyone - but will be nice to eat in peace - ha ha!

Ok. So this is what our caterer has recommended. It's if both parents are divorced and remarried. You can add and take away whoever needs to be. They suggest from left to right Grooms stepmother, brides stepfather, chief bridesmaid, grooms father, brides mother, groom, bride, brides father, grooms mother, best man, brides stepmother, grooms stepfather. Mahoosive table plan there!! In our case I'm thinking that the bridesmaids and ushers will be on their own, very noisy, table! And for us the grooms step mother will be on a table with her family and the same for the step father, my family is comparatively simple!! we didn't even consider a sweetheart table because we defo want a top table, it's more in keeping with our theme. We just need to keep the grooms father and mother away from each other. Simple!!!?! Or not!!

Blueeyedgirl - why not take the brothers out? Never heard of siblings being on the top table before unless they are also best man/bridesmaid. Maybe keep your brother in so he can 'partner' your mum, and obv. keep the best man.

So:

bride's dad, bride's 'stepmum', best man, groom's mum, groom's dad, groom, bride, bride's mum, bride's brother

or something along those lines?