Top Table Seating Dilemma.

I think traditional etiquette only allows for traditional families which a lot of us don't have now. I wouldn't worry about being too traditional and do what feels right for you and your family set up. Feel free to keep which traditions you like and change the ones that you don't like or won't work for you.

The only other alternative is to consider a sweetheart table for you and your h2b and have the people who would have been on the top table 'hosting' other tables nearby.

would either of those options work for you?

Sometimes when having a traditional top table doesn't work, people tend to scrap it completely and just sit on a 'normal' table so it blends in with everyone else. Or as Jayne said, a sweetheart table could be perfect. If you're still not sure, you could have a smaller table for 4 or 6. There's some ideas here: http://www.toptableplanner.com/top_table_seating_arrangements.php

Yes break the tradition and organise the seating to suit you.

Ours was complicated too so we ended up having our 2 kids, and our closest friends and their 2 kids on our table.

My 2 nieces who were bridesmaids (13 and 4) sat with their mum and our parents were sat on 2 different tables amongst other family members who they got on with.

I just made sure that our parents were seated close by to us on their table.

Don't feel obligated to stick to tradition - these days anything goes.

We looked at both top table and sweetheart table but decided, ultimately, that top table made more sense for us.

In your situation, however, I think sweetheart table is the way to go! Then you can seat BM with her family, Mum with your siblings and Dad and his GF can sit together somewhere

Otherwise, I would do this:

Mother of the Groom, Father of the Bride, Bride, Groom, Mother of the Bride, Best Man

I think that is the most balanced way to do a Top Table in your case. Your Dad's partner will just have to sit with people she doesn't know. Do you have a table with Aunts and Uncles on it?

Thanks everyone. My aunts and uncles will only be attending the buffet reception. Both myself and hubby2be have very large families and it is impossible to to fit them all in so we decided to have siblngs, their partners, nieces and nephews and best friends only to the wedding breakfast.

I didn't have any BMs on my top table, only the best man. There wasn't enough space, and I figured they would have a better time being seated next to their partners.

In your shoes, I think a sweetheart table might be the most diplomatic way of dealing with your family set-up. If you do decide to go for a top table, I agree that your dad Gf should sit elsewhere. You might want to give your dad gf a heads up about this and give her the option of attending the buffet only if she feels uncomfortable sitting with strangers.

Sorry if I sound thick, but what is a sweetheart table?

It's a table for the bride and groom only, personally I don't like them as I find them a bit antisocial but I can see how it might be an option in a situation like this.

Instead of a top table for everyone you have small two seater table at the front for you and husband and everyone else sits elsewhere.

How do you feel about having your dad's partner on the top table?

My parents are divorced and don't speak at all. The last time they were in a room together was about 10 years ago! They will be civil though and say hello and I don't foresee any problems on the day (I hope).

I don't want to leave my dad's wife alone so I am planning on having her on the top table with my dad. I want everyone to be sat next to someone they know and can talk to.

I have four bridesmaids, my sister, my friend who is married, one friend who has a long term partner who won't really know too many people and another friend who has a partner and two kids. So with that in mind, I'm keeping them all together on one table and my sister will sit with aunts, uncles and cousins.

So my top table looks like this at the moment:

My Dad's wife My Dad Best Man Groom Bride My Mum Groom's Mum Groom's dad

Hope this helps x