Top Table/Sweetheart Table help and opinions wanted!

If you want a sweetheart table have one! Doesn't matter what other people think of it!

We didn't really have a top table. We used one of the round tables and just sat mums and dads on it plus best man and wife as he was doing a speech.

You could have best man and BMs and your parents could each 'host' a table for you. I guess it depends on how formal your wedding is and what you can get away with.

Personally, i wouldn't have liked being on a sweetheart table as it is a little 'exposed' but i think it's really up to you and there is no right or wrong answer.

I can't help in regards to the sweetheart table i'm afraid but in connection to parents no longer being together, i think you should do what is right for you and your H2B if you want your mum and dad (and H2B's parents) sat next to you then have that. I think the parents should be able to compromise or to be a bit more harsh 'suck it up' and sit there for an hour or two for the sake of their child and like you say the relationships are civil so should be able to exchange pleasantries. However, If you both get on well with your step parents could you not have a slightly larger/ longer table and have them sat on it too?

In my opinion, i do think the sweetheart table is a little bit antisocial and i have never seen one at a wedding but that's not to say it is a nice idea. I think it would be good to speak to your parents and see what their opinion is and how they envisaged the seating arrangements as they may well have assumed they would be on the top table with their ex and their current partner sat elsewhere and just excepted it. Then you may be worrying for nothing.

We're having a sweetheart table. It was really the only option for us since day 1, the reason being that both our parents are divorced and it would just be way too awkward up there. We are having our table in between two round 'top' tables, with the bridal party and those making speeches on.

We are looking forward to having some time out. Sometimes, i worry about been too 'on show' but everyone will be eating anyway, so won't be just watching us lol

We're having a sweetheart table. It was really the only option for us since day 1, the reason being that both our parents are divorced and it would just be way too awkward up there. We are having our table in between two round 'top' tables, with the bridal party and those making speeches on.

We are looking forward to having some time out. Sometimes, i worry about been too 'on show' but everyone will be eating anyway, so won't be just watching us lol

I have the same kind of situation as you. My h2b parents divorced many years ago but on bad terms and there still seems to be an issue there. They are both remarried. My parents separated a few years ago but luckily are very civil and get on extremely well. I also have my 2 sisters as joint maid of honours so wouldn't be able to put one on the top table and not the other plus we have a brother as well and I wouldn't want him to feel left out. They have all said do whatever you would like and it won't be awkward but I know that it would!

So my h2b and I are having a sweetheart table. I don't care about being on display or show as that's what it will be like for the whole wedding day anyway and we will be surrounded my family and close friends. My sister had one at her wedding and she really liked it as it gave her and her husband time to chill out, relax and take a breather and enjoy a moment together. It also gave people the opportunity to go up to there table and speak to them together and in between course ps they could go and talk to people if they wanted.

Even without the awkward family situation I would still have a sweetheart table as For me having that time together on our own is priceless. Oh and when the speeches are being done the person will stand by our table to do them ?

Me at my partner are in the exact same position!! We are having a sweetheart table not just because we dont want a war with our familys on the day but we love the idea that we get some time for ourselfs! People always say you dont get 5 mins to take it all in so this will be our time to be together.

Looking back on our day I'm quite glad we had parents (my mum and dad, his dad) on our top table as we spent very little time with them for the rest of the wedding. I think if we'd been in your situation though, I might have sat the best man and bridesmaids with us instead. If you're not going to get much time just the two of you (we went off for an hour for photos) then a sweetheart table would be a nice way to re-group. I've never seen a sweetheart table in real life though!

We aren't having a top table - not for any other reason that that I like round tables which are more social and you're not stuck with just the people either side. We discussed a sweetheart table but agreed on a round table of our immediate bridal party minus parents (ie bridesmaids/best men/ushers if this helps you at all?

I will most likely be having a sweetheart table, but they are much more common in America. My British OH took some convincing, but he is the same situation as you with his parents being divorced. He is much closer to his stepfather as that is who is was raised by. His brother got married last summer and there was a huge drama with the photos, his father not being at the top table, etc and I just don't want to even worry about that on my wedding day. Each set of parents can get their own table to share with their friends which still puts them in a place of honor, and your wedding party will be able to sit with their SOs. I also love the idea of getting some alone time during the day. My mother has boundary issues and likes things to be about her all the time, so it will be a nice break from her too! ? I remember when my cousin had a top table and she didn't even have time to eat her meal. During the dinner I always pay attention to those at my table and the food, so I don't think you will be on display. You can have other tables around you. You don't need to be completely set apart.

Lots of our couples opt for sweetheart tables ?

They are becoming fairly popular, even for those who don't have parents who are separated. At the last wedding we shot with one the couple were told by a few guests what a nice idea it was, which was nice to hear because I know they were worried about putting a few noses out of joint.

Personally, I love them. Aside from the fact that it looks so lovely and romantic, it's also a really good chance to grab a bit of time together- which can be difficult on your wedding day.

If it wasn't for the fact that we only have 16 guests we'd definitely be having one, but have opted for a banquet style table instead.

If you do have one just make sure you let your photographer and videographer know where speeches will be taking place, or where people who are giving a speech will be standing if they will be doing them at their seats.

We're having a sweetheart table. OH's parents don't speak very good English. His father is disabled, and his mother is very shy. They would feel more comfortable on a table with OH's siblings, rather than sat on a top table (even if we didn't have the traditional setup with my mum sitting next to OH's dad etc). If we were putting them on their own table, we agreed it would look odd to just have my family on the top table, so we're letting both families have their own tables and just sitting the two of us on a table together.

There is the traditional element and the bringing two families together thing, but the most important thing you have to consider is how comfortable you and your families feel.

We're planning on having a sweetheart table too, for a few different reasons but mainly because of family dynamics. If we weren't having a table with just us then I would probably spend the whole time fretting and worrying if people are getting along. We're going to have two empty chairs on the other side of our sweetheart table with signs hanging on the back saying something to the effect of come say hi to the bride and groom, so that people can approach us when they want to. We hope that we'll get lots of visitors! Could you do something like that if you're worrying about appearing unsociable?

Thank you for all the replies ladies They have been really, really helpful!

Its nice to hear that others are in similar situations and I think we will go for a sweetheart as it will just make me feel so much better on the day, and we can have family close by on other tables! I don't think we would of had issues with anyone starting anything, but its more about people feeling comfortable, and I'm sure everyone will understand our reasons behind it!

Just need to decide how to decorate our little love island.. haha!!