Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner May 2024 Buckinghamshire

Torn

Jay, 27 of December of 2022 at 19:59 Posted on Planning 0 4

Saved

Report
Hide content

Recently I told my close family friend that we were planning on putting down a deposit for our wedding at the end of April 2024. At this point we weren’t engaged but I knew it was coming soon (it happened 2 months later) so shared this with her. 1 week after sharing this info with her she texted a save the date for the end of April. I’m torn between doing the date we both wanted and changing the date so we don’t clash with hers. It is clear to me she did this on purpose but definitely don’t want a Bride War situation on my hands. My mum and other friends have just said go with the date you originally wanted but as it’s a destination wedding in France it would be hard to attend hers in the same week :/

Report
Hide content

4 replies

Latest activity by Crystal, 28 of December of 2022 at 21:25

Rockstar August 2024 Warwickshire
Sarah · 28 of December of 2022 at 14:41
Report

Hide content
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this and I can see your dilemma.

For me, it would depend on how close she is as a friend - considering she was the person you shared this news with, I’m assuming you’re pretty close. I couldn’t miss my close friends wedding and something would have to give. However, that’s not saying that yours is the one that needs to move. I think as adults you probably both need to sit down and have an honest chat about this. There may be a reason why she picked that day also but you both won’t know unless you communicate x
- Reply
VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 28 of December of 2022 at 15:37
Report

Hide content
I would not assume anything without having a conversation with her.
She may well have already had a venue booked when you confided in her, but for some reason didn't feel able to tell you. If the details were being finalised when you spoke to her, she may have felt awkward about telling you. Or she may simply not have realised that it would cause you a problem to have your weddings so close together - from your post, it seems that they are not on the same day, just very close.
If it is really important to you to have your preferred date, but it is also important that she attends your wedding, then talk to her about it. If you can't have both, then you need to decide whether being able to attend each other's weddings is worth moving the date or not.
- Reply
Beginner May 2024 Buckinghamshire
Jay · 28 of December of 2022 at 17:35
Report

Hide content
View quoted message
When we were messaging it was originally about her wedding and asking me about venues. So I simply shared my date and venue so we wouldn’t clash I didn’t in a million years think she would pick that exact week in April. But definitely need a conversation about it as would hate to have any of the special days compromised by bad feelings. Thank you for sharing your views both.
- Reply

Savvy October 2024 Kent
Crystal · 28 of December of 2022 at 21:25
Report

Hide content
There doesn’t need to be a fall out unless she chooses that. Go with the date you originally wanted. Speak to her and have a gentle conversation about the fact that you had a specific date in mind (which you told her about) and you really don’t want to change it. Could she have forgotten? I mean, I would read it exactly how you’ve read it, in that it was deliberate but as I say you don’t actually have to fall out.
- Reply