Travel over a wedding? Is it just too expensive?

What does your fiancé think?

I am a big believer that the wedding should be what the couple wants, it's one day compared to the rest of your lives and while there is absolutely no harm in having a big celebration if that's what you want, I know for me I don't want to look back and think "oh why did I think I needed personalised cloth napkins? We could have had a longer honeymoon or put more into a house deposit'. Work out the bits that are important to you and Alex and go from there.

After all, you're the ones paying for it and you only have to answer to yourselves on that.

A wedding can be as expensive or as cheap as you make it - the only fixed costs are the registrar/minister etc. You don't have to have a dress, bouquet, bridesmaids, wedding breakfast, cake, DJ, favours...

There are loads of helpful articles on the Hitched website about doing weddings on a budget. I'd suggest you sit down with your fiance and think about what you'd really like your wedding to look like and who you would absolutely have to have there. Then start looking at ways you can get the wedding you want as cheaply as possible. E.g. you don't have to spend £££s on a dress from a boutique - look at high street or mail order companies - or just buy a nice outfit you can wear again. Don't have bridesmaids/groomsmen, or else just ask them to turn up in something they already own. Buy a supermarket wedding cake and bouquet instead of getting them professionally done...

Hi Lauren,


I felt compelled to respond to you as I’m in the same boat as you. Myself and my now fiancé got engaged last September and I’m a full time student so we’re only on 1 wage.
I knew we couldn’t realistically afford a big wedding and a honeymoon (I’d like to go to the Maldives) so we decided we’d have a registry office wedding and a reception at our local town hall (Oxford) as a sort of compromise.
However...costs started mounting, for the venue hire, food, music, plus my dress and everything else that comes with a wedding. I started getting a bit panicky about it all, just for one day!
In my eyes, the act of getting married to your best friend is the most important thing. Those lucky enough to have a gorgeous venue too is a bonus.
I decided to put forward an alternative: get married at the registry office and have our reception at home which we’ve agreed on.
It’s definitely not what a lot of people would want to do, but it’s what we want.
Ultimately it’s yours and Alex’s big day.
The idea of giving up a big wedding for one day but instead spending that money to go travelling and spending time with your new husband sounds like a good idea to me!
Hope that helps x

View quoted message Hi Jenna,


Thank you so much! You actually have no idea how comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this and thinking the exact same thoughts as myself!
I was very excited to have a wedding but the more I plan for it and see all the costs from the venue to the little details of my hair, the more overwhelming it all sounds.
We are currently talking about it as Alex would love a big family wedding but the more planning we do it's coming more and more expensive and we can't have Japan and a huge wedding.
I totally agree that starting a marriage travelling instead of 1 day sounds great and honestly I think your wedding plans sounds lovely and just as perfect as it's about you and your fiancé instead of impressing everyone else.
Honestly thank you so much for your reply Jenna you have made me feel a lot better about the situation

View quoted message

Aw that's ok!

I think you can still be excited about wedding planning. If you do decide to go down the alternative route of a stripped back wedding, at least there will be less things to have to worry about! Maybe you could have a party the year after your wedding with friends and family?

We're going to be inviting immediate family only to the ceremony and then, hoping to have other family members eg. aunties, uncles, cousins and friends for the evening, COVID dependent of course! Saves on deciding who/who not to invite.

I've bought my wedding dress from a bridal store but that was when they had a 1/2 price sale on. Alternatively you could look in charity shops (when they reopen!) or look online. Some of the high street shops also do wedding dresses (and ASOS too!) Keep an eye out for discount codes for these retailers. Another bonus of buying from the high street is that it is unlikely you'll need any dress alterations, which can be expensive, depending on the work needed.

I'm doing my own hair and make-up to save on costs, also I don't wear much makeup day-to-day so for me, I couldn't really justify hundreds of pounds for someone to not put much makeup on me! Have a look online for hair tutorials, think I'm going for a mid ponytail, with a headband (ordered from Etsy) and some drop earrings.

I bought my sparkly shoes from a charity shop (little did I know then I would decide to wear them for the wedding!) so it is possible to still feel fantastic on a budget.

Good luck! x

Hi Lauren and Jenna,


I'm in the same boat. This last week venue hunting has caused me so much stress! We have our date, 1st June 2022. And then after that there's so much choice.
Our decision is do we go a hotel 'done for you' package that comes out at around £10k, and that's before the dress and everything else, or do we have a DIY wedding in our local village hall which will be a fraction of the cost but will be more work for us in the run up etc.
It's annoying how expensive it is to feed everyone as that seems to be where the money goes! But I do like the idea of having it all done for me! Argh, covid and not being able to visit venues doesn't help either!
Lauren could you do something similar to Jenna or similar to my village hall idea where you are? X

One of my friends asked for people to contribute to a bring & share buffet instead of giving wedding presents!

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