Uninvited Guests At Registry Office?

Mine better bloody not! I'll kill them. ? They're only invited in the first place to keep family peace!! Our Reg office is already full so there won't be room for them and I will not have my friends waiting outside! x

They are my Dad's half sisters who I haven't seen in god knows how long and they are invited to the meal and everything else x

We are having a small registry office ceremony too and I really hope I don't get any uninvited guests. I'm mainly worried about OH's sister who is most definitely not welcome but lives very locally and I REALLY don't want her barging in...

This is something I hadn't heard of until very recently.

A friend of mine got married but only family were invited to the ceremony/day do yet loads of people only invited to the evening turned up to the ceremony.

This also happened at my brother's wedding. Apparently it's becoming the "norm".

I am hoping it won't happen at mine as we're having a civil ceremony in a hotel and it's a little more intrusive than turning up at a church.

Ive already heard that a couple of people are planning to turn up at our church and it makes me feel a bit awkward. My CBMs parents told her they would come and wait outside the church so they could see her on the day, but I dont know them very well so they havent been invited at all. I feel a bit bad knowing they are waiting outside to see her (what if it rains!?!) so have said that they can come watch the service if theyd like to. The other day OH told me that his bestmans dad wants to come and see BM playing his part (its a nice proud parent thing I guess - but again I feel v awkward knowing this person then has to just leave!). Finally someone that I have invited to the evening reception is planning to come to the church to see the ceremony, with her toddler (we have not invited kids to the reception/meal except for our neices and nephews). I think will be the most awkward as there will be other guests that know her from work - Im totally worried its going to look 'mean' that we wont be asking her to the wedding breakfast. People dont seem to think about how they make the bride and groom feel when they do this stuff! lol.

An awful thing happened to a group of my friends a couple of years ago. A friend who was only invited to the evening turned up at the actual church service because apparently anybody can turn up to watch a church service.

The other friends hadn't realised she wasn't invited all day and asked her to join them in their car back to reception. She had to admit she hadn't been invited. But later turned up in a different dress to the evening do already pretty far gone. How embarrassing ?

It's not that I don't want them there, it's more the fact that they will have travelled all that way (over an hour) just to have to leave after ceremony as we will be travelling to venue half an hour away and won't want to hang around after ceremony.

I wonder why people think it's ok to turn up? There will be lots of space so I can't use that as an excuse, I just would rather they didn't come them I won't feel gulity.

Oh well looks like I can't really stop them.

Thanks ladies.

You can to a civil ceremony. That's what our register told us. They don't have to let people who are not invited in x

I suppose the problem with that is you either have to ask people to bring their invites (and it becomes a little like a nightclub entrance!) or you have to make a scene removing someone who isn't invited. Difficult.

This would just cause more trouble though, if someone I didn't like/had fallen out with then I would most definately have them told to leave etc but not these people, I just feel awkward as we can't afford to have them at meal etc, it's not that I don't want them there, in an ideal world I would have them all there for ceremony, meal and staying in the hotel but just can't.

We had about 10 people at our service who weren't invited to the whole day but some were invited to the reception. They loved being invited along and all definitely understood why we weren't able to have them their all day. I loved the fact people were prepared to make the effort to come along. An old work colleague come, neighbours, parents and 2 kids of my bridemaids. We didn't make a big deal out of asking them along but just in passing the question about the service came up and we said they were welcome to watch it however no one turned up who hadn't been invited or asked if we would mine.

Don't feel guilty when it's their choice to come along. Unless it's a space issue just enjoy the fact some want to make a special effort to see the 'main' event so to speak.

If my memory serves me correctly, you can't really stop them if it is a church wedding as it is a public place, not sure how it works for civil ceremonies.

That's really nice that people made an effort to come to yours Lynsey and I do feel touched that they want to do the same for us and go out there way.

I was already feeling guilty that we decided to downsize the wedding and the fact people are being so nice and understanding about it has just made me feel worse I think.

Silly think to get stressed about really.

I totally get why you feel stressed. I had always wanted a wedding where everyone came to the whole thing but in reality we just couldn't afford it unfortunately.

Maybe speak to the people that want to come to the service and just say you feel guilty and if they are really still ok to come along without being able to come to the meal then maybe you'll feel better?

xx

Thanks PG I think I will, funnily enough I would be quite happy for them to come in the evening when the meal is done and dusted, maybe I should mention this to them.

None of my family past grandparents are invited to my ceremony, so no Aunties, uncles, cousins etc as alot fail to even say hello in the street so why should they come to my special day. Already, some of my cousins have said stuff as if they are coming to my wedding via facebook, they def wont be.. We're not a close family at all and I wouldn't want half of them as friends let alone family. Sad, but true. So I wouldn't be impressed if they invited themselves along. I am only allowed 36 people included myself and my H2B when we get married as we are marrying in a small Castle turett.. The Evening party wont be in my hometown so hopefully people wont turn up uninvited, I wouldn't think twice about telling them to get lost though tbh.

Any wedding/civil partnership regardless of whether it is religious or civil must be 'open doors'. Everyone must have the opportunity to raise a legal objection and so can not be 'banned' from a ceremony.

However rooms are only allowed to have the maximum stipulated in the fire regulations.

Not sure you stop interlopers... maybe a question to ask the registrar??? I have said to a few people who aren't invited to the reception (not having an evening do) that if they wish to come to the church for the ceremony that is fine by me, but unfortunately due to finances we can only extend the reception to out family and nearest friends. That way it is their decision if they wish to go to the ceremony or not....

I am not that fussed on the reception afterwards and much more interested in the actual marriage ceremony