unlicensed venue and registrar's signing, need some thoughts please!

Could you do the registry office first thing in the morning on the day? Depending on how big your party is, you could invite everyone, or just the closest few to that and then everyone else to the main venue? Good luck!

Hey, no they only do it monday to friday, the venue day is a saturday. Its just annoying i dont know whether to just view it in my mind as a rehearsal, its hard cos i've been imagining this big day in my head and the 4th july was important as it was my dads birthday who has passed away. I'm just really down about it

I guess my first questions would be to the venue about when exactly they are hoping to have their licence, and what they have done to getit thus far. Perhaps the registry office can also help answer those questions.

If they are getting their licence in the next few weeks then you won't have a prolem at all, the registrar will come to the venue on your chosen day and problem solved.

However, if they aren't getting their licence until June 2015, then you have to decide what you like more - the date or the venue.

You can always have a celebrant come and perform a mini service at the venue, having got officially hitched the day before at the registry office. Although I appreciate that you do have your heart set on the actual date for your official anniversary.

Or you could have a 2 day wedding - get married the day before with family and friends, and then the next day, pop your frock back on and have a big party! Then your dress gets worn twice. But again, I appreciate that doesn't solve the problem of your anniversary not being the day you wanted.

I'd start by finding out the deal with their licence and what steps they have taken to getting that licence. That will answer a lot of your questions and help force you to make a decision.

The easy thing to do is just the two of you go to the register office. Book the cheapest service - there will be one that is for 2 people + 2 witnesses where you just do the legal stuff, sign & go. People usually go in their jeans because it isn't a part of their wedding. In Leeds this ceremony is only available on Wednesday mornings for £75.

Then on the wedding day you proceed as normal using a registered celebrant. Nobody need know that the paperwork was done during the week.

I did this and it was actually really amazing!

my venue is liscensed but in chose to do it this way so I could have a religious blessing at venue.

on June 6th we went to the registry office with just family and two close friends. Did the legal bit took (10mins) then went back to my dads house for food, drinks and cake!

initially it was supposed to be just us and parent going to registry office then home... However things escalated as they do! I'm glad they did was totally amazing and so glad my dad did it for me considering he wasn't keen on me getting married.

june 7th we did nothing but final plans... Myself and new husband spent the day apart doing different things.

june 8th was the BIG day and the one we recognise has our wedding day despite the fact we were already legally married. None of my guest knew apart from those who were there on the Friday about 15 in all.

june 9th we went to lunch in the local town with our friends who stayed over at hotel night of wedding then back to my mums for more food, drink to look at pictures.

spreading it out over the whole weekend meant my celebrations lasted longer.

If you are religious maybe this is something you could consider! (Registry office followed by blessing the following day)

This is what I HATE about England... why do venues have to be licensed?

we should be able to get married where ever the hell we want without extortionate wallet raping fees

we seem to be the only country that has this dumb rule, its even different in Scotland so you can get married in your garden, beach, park etc... without having to pay a tonne you just pay for the registrar to show up

You said in your post that the venue is amazing and it's obviously perfect for you. In which case I don't think it is a problem it not being licensed, your 'real' ceremony will be at the venue. The legalities can be done a day or two before. That's what we're doing as we want a Humanist wedding on the day but these are currently not legally recognised except in Scotland.

We will already be married on our wedding day!

Although out venue is licensed we save around £400 doing it this way. We are have the legal bit at the registry office the week before (most standard vows and just my mom and step dad) then going for a meal.

on out actual wedding we are having a celebrant. Very few people will know and as we've been working with her for months she's writing us a lovely personal ceremony.

And I'm less worried about OH not showing up as I'm already his wife! ;-)

We're doing exactly as Paula suggested- only down here they'll only allow us to do so on a Tuesday at 9:45am (or 9:15am) it is costing £45 + notice fees of £35 each, which everyone has to pay anyway.

Our venue wasn't licenced when we booked- they now have a licence, but we've still opted to do it this way around.

1. Because we want to get married outside, under an oak tree but the licence only covers the barn or a Gazebo

2. For a registrar to come out it'll cost over £500

3. We find the rules and way things need to be done with a registrar a little restrictive/ time sensitive for what we want from our ceremony.

We're definitely not counting it as the wedding- we're having no vows, rings, additional promises etc. We're just doing the bare minimum that is legally required and will include vows and so on in our "proper" ceremony which will take place on the Saturday.

Same as most others on this thread. We are doing the legal bit the day before then having our own ceremony at the venue. In our mind the registry office is just paperwork, a technicality. The ceremony the next day is when we're really getting married

Gosh I cant tell you how much better it makes me feel knowing this is now more like the normal way to do it and knowing loads of others do it that way too. Thanks so much everyone! we'll just think of that bit at the paper work and our wedding is the next day! x

Could you be a little bit naughty and say it's for a venue close to the one you want. That way you will get the registrars booked. You don't have to give notice till next year anyway. If your venue still hasn't got the licence you can change your booking with the registrar.

i say close to your venue so if you rebook it for your venue next year they can hardly say they can't make it distance-wise.

My experience is quite different. I could count on one hand the number of couples who have turned up in jeans.

Also, you do not need to have a registered celebrant for your 'main ceremony', anyone could do it. You could write your own script and speak to your local amdram group if you like to see if someone would do the ceremony. Probably even less cost than a registered celebrant!

Thank you for all your helpful words and ideas on this thread.

I have a question. When you have had your ceremony/ blessing who did it? I would like my Vicar to come and do ours.

She has been such a great support to us and if it weren't for some bad memories we would be getting married in her parish church.

We have hired a wedding venue that is licensed however we would like her to do the ceremony/ blessing and do the registry bit the day before. Is this possible? has anyone done this?

Many thanks x

Registrars are so annoying! Our wedding is next September and they only had really crap times available which would have ruined the entire wedding day. So we've decided to do the formal bit on the Friday with only two witnesses, keep it really simple. Then on the Saturday one of my family friends is going to do the ceremony outside. I think it will be really special and memorable and the ceremony will be completely individual and tailored to us rather than "insert name here".

I am a little bothered by the fact that the official bit will be done before the wedding day and only cost £80 compared to the thousands we are spending on the Saturday! But I'm trying not to think about it too much and I'm not telling any of my guests about it.

If you don't have a registrar doing your ceremony the options are endless. You can choose your time, your vows, who does it, where you want it. Think of how amazing that will be! xx

I hadn't even thought about doing things this way.

Yep, the best way to get exactly what you want.

Thank you so much and hope all goes well in September for you. xx

It's always worth asking boo! I don't know how keen a vicar will be to do a wedding outside a church but you never know! If not, I looked into having a humanist celebrant and she quoted me £1000! It's not a legal ceremony so I don't think there's any reason why you can't have one of your friends doing it instead of paying all that money.

We've got our venue from Friday- Sunday and on the Friday night we're having a party with lots of our guests coming which I think will be really cool. Just thinking of the wedding as a weekend long event- why not have two ceremonies?! xx