Unreliable Bridesmaid

Hello


I’m sorry you’re feeling this way! I am having a similar issue with a bridesmaid and I had exact same feelings at the beginning that I really wish I listened to my gut about! So I think if you’re really having these doubts and know already there will be drama then don’t have her as a bridesmaid! My situation is I no longer speak to the friend that was meant to be a bridesmaid she was causing a lot of dramas and upset and has really taken its toll on our relationship and now actually no longer speaking which is super sad! I’m not saying that will happen with you at all but you want people around you who are happy and supportive and want to celebrate you guys without making dramas about themselves! You shouldn’t be worrying about if people are going to be reliable on the day there’s enough other things to stress about 🤣 but that’s not one that you should be worried about all!And at the end of the day it’s upto you, don’t let anyone pressure you or make you feel bad or even feel bad yourself for not having her as a bridesmaid, it’s yours and your partners day and should be your decisions x

I think you need to trust your instincts here, if she’s making you feel uncomfortable at your hen party she definitely won’t make you feel good on your special day. You really don’t want anyone there that is going to bring you down on the day of your wedding, especially as she will be getting ready with you.


I think you need to talk to her and be honest enough to say that she doesn’t seem committed enough to the role. She may feel relieved to attend as just a guest.

You are getting married this summer and have four bridesmaids, including your cousin. She did not attend your hen party and gave different excuses to different people. You are worried about her reliability and drama and are considering not having Bookiemarket her as a bridesmaid. You have thought about cutting her off for a while but don't want to upset other family members. You would still have her at the wedding but not as part of the wedding party. You are looking for impartial advice.

Hi!

I'm having a similar issue, see I went to uni with this person and worked with her for a bit but then I swapped jobs - having already asked her to be a bridesmaid. A friend alongside one of my other bridesmaids expressed concerns about her, saying that she said she didn't want to do it, making up lies about myself about how I was hounding her for hen do ideas (I'm not, I've not even thought about that yet) and the idea that she had was 'pushing me out of my comfort zone' and doing something I would not be into at all (a weekend away on a particular party island clubbing all weekend is not my idea of fun). The cherry on top was her 'expressing concerns' about my fiance and another bridesmaid (to others and not me!) and their relationship (they've known each other since they were 3 for context) and how she doesn't like the group chat I made which she suggested I make in the first place!

End of the day, my instincts told me I should I cut her out and I did and I think you need to trust your own too. Weddings are so important, and you need someone you can trust to be there on the day. The fact being that this person has told 3 different stories as to why she can't be at your hen do is a huge red flag. Express your concerns with your relatives first if you're worried about their reaction, but given how unreliable she's been and they know that, I'm sure they'll support your decision! and you never know, your cousin may appreciate being a guest without the stress of being in the wedding party.