Unsupportive bridesmaids and mom

Hi Steph.anie

Poor you!! Families really are rubbish sometimes. They really know how to take all the supposed fun and excitement out of it all.

I've got 2 very different bridesmaids. one is my daughter who is 7 and so obsessed with the wedding its painful. but unfortunately isn't the most helpful with deciding stuff and helping me plan. lol bless her really! then there is my sister (GGRRRR just thinking about it) she has done NOTHING to help wont comment other than to inform me she is the priority and im not allowed anyone else as a bridesmaid other than the 2 of them. Again I never actually asked her to be a BM she told me she was and that I am to buy her dress. Sorry im rating now. its catching!! Hahaha.

Will have to stick together!! Just remember its your day (and your OH, we should remember them.)

Im sure as it gets closer they will improve.

Good Luck!! keep your chin up and plan the most epic day you want!! that's my plan anyway. (in theory)

xx

Oh dear.. Neither of us are having much luck are we?! I just feel like eventide I get super decided they just knock it out of me.. It's annoys my OH too cause he said I'm too nice and won't say anything to them Haha

When are you getting married? How are your plans going?

Xx

Wow I hate auto correct!! ?

Hi, I married this week although abroad without anyone except two friends as witness. I knew my family would be the same as yours (my Mum is very negative always) so didn't even tell them until just before. My OH Mum was the total opposite end was thrilled for us. I shopped and discussed with her. O my advise is if your Mum is negative let her get on with it. Don't tell them plans unless they ask. My brother never managed to say the word congratulations! Not when I told him, not since, no card for the wedding or text during or fer. It took my Mum till two days after to comment adk questions or adk about pictures. Some people are like that unfortunately so don't involve them and have what you want and stuff them. If you want to chose someone else as another bridesmaid as well who will be supportive to you then do it its not your sisters choice! Same as if you want to adk someone else to make a speach at your wedding do it.

Auto correct drives me insane too.

Wow, you really have bad luck ! If it were me, I'd probably choose someone else as bridesmaids and surround me with supportive people. (Ideally) you only get married once in your life, so it should make for fantastic memories ! There's no do-over, after all.

Thanks for all the replies! It's nice to know I am not being unreasonable!

I did think about asking them to step down from being bridesmaids but I just think it would cause too much trouble and make the situation worse.. It would just be nice for them to show an interest and make a bit if effort.

I think I am just going to make a point to not get them involved now unless they ask about it

Xx

I think you’ve got the right idea – just don’t mention it unless they do and focus on getting excited with H2B’s family. Weddings bring out the best and worst in people which is really sad as it’s meant to be such a happy occasion. I think the best thing you can do is expect the worst of people (eg no interest, not wanting to take part in the day) and then you won’t be disappointed in any way. I would give your sister’s one opportunity to propose alternative dates for your hen do and if they come back with excuses or are a bit non committal just carry on planning it for the original dates you were looking for.

You’re honestly not alone with BM’s being pants.

Last night my Mum invited me, my BM’s and good friend round to hers to chat about ideas for my hen do. BM 1 couldn’t come as it’s her GF’s birthday (totally understand that and wouldn’t have expected her to come at all!) MOH’s response: “No. Can’t come. Kid’s bedtime” – I don’t have kids but she uses this as an excuse as and when it suits. BM 2 (younger brother’s gf) text me an hour before she was due to arrive, she feels pushed out of arrangements by my good friend (who my Mum had also invited) and was having a crying and shaking fit about it. So it ended up just being me, my Mum and my good friend. So technically the 3 “closest” of my friends were the ones who weren’t there (as I said totally understand why BM 1 wasn’t there) yet, the one who was there, was the one who has no particular “role” in the wedding – just wanted to be there to support. I guess what I’m saying is that these kind of things will always show those who are closer to you and those who aren’t. I’m not naive enough to think my wedding is the most important thing in everyone else life but I think there are times when your friends and family should be supportive in the very least and as its such a special time it hurts so much more when they’re not.

It's a shame, but everyone views weddings so differently. The best thing seems to be to get on with as much as you can with you and your OH, and only include bridesmaids / parents in bits that concern them after you've made the majority of the decisions. It's heartbreaking when you're in the middle of this huge high of planning, and other people just aren't as interested. Try and keep that disappointment to a minimum and limit the amount of wedding talk around them, you may find that they start bringing it up themselves so that they can hear the latest gossip.

I really feel for you. My family are being awful at the moment, and not just being uninterested, I mean being nasty about my venue, dress, date, menu, entertainment, my hair....the only thing they've not said something really insulting about is my fiancé! Every time I get excited, they knock me right back down, to the point where I nearly called off the whole thing because I just couldn't deal with the nastiness...but that wouldn't be fair to the two of us, we want our wedding so we are doing what we want and I just have to listen to the horrible comment. It's draining, but at least after a day it'll all be over. I hate thinking that way about my wedding, but I've felt so lonely and isolated so far I'll be relieved when it's done. My fiances family have also been great so I just talk to them about everything and avoid mentioning things to my lot. It's the best way.

Oh no! I know exactly what you are going through though. Ny mom and dad said that the venue was too posh and they didn't feel comfortable there.. Didn't like my dress.. Didn't want to meet my inland.. Stopped speaking to my fiance for about a month because he apparently wasn't making enough effort with them? Etc etc it's a knightmare!! Sounds like we both just need to give up on our own family and focus on the people that really care and arr interested.. I just worry about the day and how they are going to be.. I am hoping that they won't ruin it for us by being negative and unsociable on the actual day! I eill never forgive then if they do that! I haven't decided where I am staying the night before the wedding yet but I really don't want to spend it with them as I don't think I would be excited or it would feel special so sad because it should be such a happy thing!

Xx

Yeah that's my plan now to not get them involved and hope they don't ruin the day by being negative! I will never forgive them if they ruin it for us! Xx

It's so sad isn't it! Looks like im not alone having sucky parents! I think I'm just going to keep them out of all plans and hope they don't ruin the fay for us! Xx

So sad! I have got one other bridesmaid and she has been great. She is also getting married this year too though so she has a lot going on at the moment.. I think it was the refusal to come to the hen night that just topped it off for me! I haven't heard from them since I mentioned it either so it doesn't look like they have changed their mind..

Nevermind.. We need to just focus on the supportive people and forget about everyone else! As I said I just hope they don't ruin the day because I eill never forgive them! Xx

Exactly and you would think as they're eldest daughter they would be excited!! I had to pretty much force ny mom to come dress shopping with me so sad xx