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Beginner February 2024 Tyne & Wear

Unwanted guests

Kim, 21 of August of 2023 at 21:49 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 3
Hi everyone,
Long story short, we don’t want a certain guest at our wedding due to him cheating on my MOH.

However this has caused arguments with the family.
My father has said that if this individual isn’t invited he wouldn’t go to the wedding - I only found this out recently - as it’s not fair to my MOH who is my sister.We have never had any drama until this individual came into the family and this is causing me to have sleepless nights.

Any advice on how to deal with the situation? This has caused more stress than it needs to.

3 replies

Latest activity by Adelina, 29 of August of 2023 at 22:48
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    So your father is refusing to come to your wedding unless your sister's cheating ex is invited? Wow!

    There's no easy answer to this kind of situation, as whatever you do, there will be some kind of fallout, but in your place, I'd go with your original wish not to invite the cheater.

    For one thing, this is your wedding and you shouldn't be expected to have any guests there that make you uncomfortable - and it's obvious that you really don't want this person to attend.

    For another, I don't think it's ever a good idea to give in to emotional blackmail. Especially as once your father realises it works, what's to stop him using the same threat again and again, until the wedding becomes his wedding, not yours!

    Also, where cheating/bad behaviour has been involved, then I think it's only fair to give the person who has been most hurt priority. Choices have consequences, and if someone is excluded from a wedding because of their own decision to cheat on a member of the wedding party, they have only themselves to blame.

    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this, especially from someone who should be 100% supportive of your wedding. I hope you are able to reach a satisfactory outcome x

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  • J
    Curious July 2024 Norfolk
    Jessica ·
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    Is your sister still with the guy who cheated? I could see that might make the situation more complicated.
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  • A
    Adelina ·
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    Navigating family dynamics and wedding guest lists can indeed be stressful, and I understand how you're feeling caught in the middle of this situation. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and those of your MOH while also considering your family's perspectives. To address this issue, open and honest communication is key. Start by having a calm and private conversation with your father, explaining your reasons for not wanting the certain guest at your wedding due to the impact it had on your MOH. Express that you value his presence but also want to ensure that your wedding day is comfortable and enjoyable for everyone, especially your sister who holds a significant role.

    Listen to your father's concerns and try to find common ground. Perhaps you could explore compromises, such as ensuring that interactions between your father and the individual are minimized during the event. If he continues to feel strongly about not attending without this guest, respectfully acknowledge his feelings while reaffirming your decision.

    Remember that it's your wedding day, and while family dynamics are important, you and your partner should have the final say on who is invited. Make sure to lean on your partner for support and make decisions that align with your values and wishes. Ultimately, maintaining open communication, empathy, and understanding can go a long way in resolving this issue and reducing the unnecessary stress surrounding your special day.

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