Upset friend

Hi all this is a long one I posted this yesterday but for some reason it won't show. I have a friend who is very upset with me as she assumed she would be part of my bridal party. Our relationship is that we met at University we lived in the same uni house in our 2nd year and I was asked to be her maid of honour 7 years ago. We'd ever weigh apart from each other she lives in West Midlands and I live in London. When we were younger I spent a lot of time travelling backwards and forwards to where she lived with her rarely coming down to me.
We speak on the phone but as time has gone on she's gone and had 3 kids her life has changed completely I currently don't have children and I'm very aware of the fact that they are having financial problems.
On Thursday After having not spoken to me for a month she answered my phone call and told me how hurt she wasAbout not being considered as part of the bridal party. This was a shock to me because in my head I had this conversation with her when she was upset about the fact that she wasn't told about our engagement party because I was concerned about how much the money would be for her to come down for one day or an evening and I know that they don't have lots of family support. She kept saying she was questioning our friendship because I selfishly told her who the other bridesmaids were not taken into consideration that she was waiting to hear her own name but in the next breath told me she knows that she doesn't think that I need to consider her but a conversation should have been had. I tried to explain to her after apologising about the engagement party ID spoken to her about that weeks ago months ago and I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an intentional thing because I want her to be a bridesmaid but I'm very aware of the financial implications and I know myself very well I would feel deeply betrayed if she said yes and somewhat down-the-line told me she couldn't do it. I'm also aware of the fact that with the 3 children she wouldn't be able to be at every like meeting and come to all the different fairs and I just found the whole thing quite hard especially as she doesn't realise that I have been going backwards and forwards trying to find a way to include her she didn't give me an opportunity to actually speak to her about it she just kind of ambushed me and now she says like I said before she's questioning in our friendship I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her months ago I wanted her to read something it never occurred to meThat she wanted to be a bridesmaid. I have a lot of friends because I'm a military kid and she is the only person that has assumed she would get a role. She feels because she was looking for venues and making confetti and things like that she was already proving to me that she was wanting to be part of the bridal Party but when I explained to her there were lots of other girls do an exactly the same thing she didn't want to hear it.
I also have one other reason which I have never shared with her because I know that she won't be able to take it. On meeting my My fiance 1 She thought it was funny to not pronounce his name properly Which in turn has made my fiancee not really take to her which is a shame because I love her. I think our friendship is probably come to a natural end by this so I don't see how you can come back from it but she thinks I owed her a conversation but I hadn't actually finished working out the best way to involve her but now I feel like she's forced my hand Does anyone have any idea what I can do.