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Beginner August 2021

Upset with my bridesmaids.

RomanticYellowConfetti93312, 5 July, 2022 at 07:56 Posted on Just Married 1 8
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Hi,


We got married in April, it was the most perfect day and one we will never forget.
I had 4 bridesmaids but I feel so upset with them to the point where i’m not bothered with our friendship anymore. Some of them are friendships I’ve had since school. I feel like they didn’t do their bridesmaid duties for the day.
The night before we all met and stayed over, we had drinks music and it was a bit of a chill out… I felt like there was no excitement from them at all, no effort, they kind of just sat there and the atmosphere was ‘dry’. I tried my best to make it fun, going through stories of wedding planning and generally trying to have a laugh.
On the morning of the wedding, we all got up at 6am to start getting ready as our hair lady was coming for 7am, I found out the day after one of my bridesmaids had slept in for 2 hours. I didn’t notice at the time as I was so excited getting ready but I was quite disappointed that she didn’t want to enjoy the getting ready part with us but rather sleep in.
Through out the day of the wedding, there was no asking if I needed anything such as lipstick/lipgloss, chewing gum, spray. I thought this was what a bridesmaid was supposed to do?! I hardly spoke to them and on the evening they didn’t dance much either. In fact one of my bridesmaids was with her girlfriend snogging her face off all night?! We didn’t have a bridesmaid dance together which makes me sad thinking about it afterwards.
I didn’t let it affect me on the day of the wedding but thinking about it now makes me upset as these girls were my best friends and I thought that as my best friends they would show more effort, happiness, excitement for me but they didn’t.
I’ve also heard that one of my bridesmaids has been talking about me behind my back, I only wanted the perfect wedding and to me it was but to hear this makes me angry and annoyed with her especially after spending so much money towards dresses, presents etc.
Has anyone else felt like this after their wedding?


8 replies

Latest activity by SunnyPinkBridesmaid84680, 5 June, 2023 at 23:14
  • W
    East London
    Watergirl ·
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    I'm sorry you didn't feel supported. I think in practice, being the bridesmaid at a wedding is not that much fun. You're there to support a friend and be helpful, and that in itself can be quite tiring especially if there's other stuff in your life going on. Or maybe they just have slightly different personalities to you, and are a little more reserved?

    It sounds like they did come and stay over with you, and aside from one did join in with the preparations. Once the evening comes, often the bridesmaids do their own thing and if they're not into dancing, it's not surprising they didn't spend the whole night on the dancefloor. I hate the pressure to dance!

    But generally, you need someone in your corner on the day and it's a shame none of them stepped up. Maybe specific expectations (like offering lipgloss) are a bit too much to ask, but it's more of a general attitude, and if you didn't feel they were behind you then that's a shame.

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  • Kayleigh
    Rockstar October 2023 Bristol
    Kayleigh ·
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    Tbh for me personally I asked the most special friends I have to be my bridesmaids because I love them. There's no duties or expectations of them on my end other than to show up. I want them there to have a good time, not to follow me around like puppies all night x
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  • Yorkshirelass
    Super July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    Agree with Kayleigh, I don’t need someone else to hand me my lipstick, I can carry it around myself and personally wouldn’t dream of expecting that. My BMs are my 2 daughters, 2 nieces and my adult sister and were all chosen because I love them and wanted the young girls to be bridesmaids as it’s first time for all them.
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Im sorry you didnt get want you wanted of them x but all that should really matter is that you got married to the person you love and that they were at least there for you my friends have ditched me because of my wedding plans so glad you got to have your friends at yours hope you still had an amazing day xx💗 congratulations to you both x
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  • C
    Beginner May 2023 Oxfordshire
    Catherine ·
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    You started off by saying you had a beautiful special day with your partner. I would remember all the lovely memories and let the disappointment about your friends go. Easier said than done but you do have a choice about what you want to remember from the day. Even if you didn't think they were really participating, they might have loved the wedding and have their own special memories. That said, if you have concerns they aren't being friends who love and support you moving forward nothing wrong in distancing yourself.

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  • L
    Beginner December 2023 Hampshire
    Lise ·
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    Hey,
    I had issues at the beginning with my MOH and it did upset me but I think sometimes the whole day can be such an emotional rollercoaster for everyone that people act differently sometimes.
    On the day my bridesmaid and MOH were a worrying mess and the nerves was apparent off them. Maybe arrange a girls night somewhere like a nice hotel and make a memory night of the wedding day like getting them to write three things each which they enjoyed the most and what three things they would of done differently. I always thought I’d have my bridesmaids helping me to the loo and hold my train throughout day etc but reality was different so I do understand why you might feel let down. If one’s been talking behind your back maybe meet for a coffee and a chat and see what the issue is, sometimes some people feel jealous and can act differently regardless how many years we’ve known someone xx
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  • SunnyOrangeFlowers142
    Beginner April 2023
    SunnyOrangeFlowers142 ·
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    Perhaps people’s ideas about bridesmaids are very different but mine don’t have ‘duties’. They’re my girlfriends who I want by my side and for them to also feel special about the day. If one of them slept in, but it had no affect on my wedding- no drama. If I wasn’t offered gum all day- no drama.


    Personally I would just move on. You’ve had a nice wedding for you and your partner, is it really worth binning friendships for?
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  • S
    Beginner May 2020
    SunnyPinkBridesmaid84680 ·
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    Honestly what is it about someone getting married that the world has to stop. Your friends sound like they have been with you throughout and FYI, talking about wedding planning is not fun topic when you have probably been taking over the group chat with your wedding plans for years 😴. Your bridesmaids are people with their own lives and stresses, and sorry princess but your wedding doesn’t give you the right to give out ‘duties’. Put your own dam lipgloss on should they have been wiping your arse also?
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