Urgent Help/advice

In all honesty, I’m not sure it’s fair to only pay money towards guests who mention it, as some of the ones struggling the most may not say anything.


Sorry if this is a stupid question, but does it need to be in ireland? I know you grew up there, but I guess the important question is what means most to you - having it in ireland but potentially not having people there due to cost, or having it in London/Essex and having everyone you want there? And potentially paying money towards the 15 people who need to travel if this would be needed?
Essentially, you’re having a destination wedding, and to my knowledge these are renowned for having much smaller guest lists simply because people can’t afford both the cost and annual leave requirement!

I agree that it isn't fair to only offer support to those who mention they are hard up. You may have people who are better able to afford it whinging about the cost, while those who really can't are keeping quiet because they don't want to make you feel bad for having your wedding in your home country.

Either you need to accept that you are going to have a smaller wedding than you planned (destination weddings are typically much smaller than local ones) or come up with an alternative plan. Can you switch to your current location for the wedding, so that fewer people have to travel long distance? Or, if getting married in your home country is important to you, can you look at having a small family wedding in Ireland and then a bigger wedding blessing/celebration back in Essex?

So in terms of importance it's a strange one. I would be happy to get married in England, but the wedding in Ireland is already booked, as when we booked it flights were much cheaper and it seemed really do-able. We spoke to most people about being able to afford it and at the original cost everyone said it was affordable. But nobody booked the flights when it was cheaper (us included) and now the flights have nearly trebled in price.
We have already paid half of the venue off, plus deposits for hair/makeup, photography etc.
One of the main reasons for Ireland at the moment is my grandparents, I adore them, and my nan hadn't got the best of health, with some recent serious illness diagnosis and she wouldn't be able to fly. Both me and my partner couldn't imagine her not being at our wedding, it makes me cry just thinking about the possibility that she still may not be there anyway. We have already tried to make it as affordable as possible by purchasing the bigger package, with a lot more free alcohol/drinks, bigger percentage discount on the rooms for everyone and some free rooms to allocate to people. Its just the price change in flights that's costing the most now. I was wondering whether people had experience of ryanair/Aer Lingus doing black Friday sales, or whether flights may get cheaper closer to the time x

Can’t people get the ferry instead if they’re struggling to pay for flights?


It’d take a bit longer to get there but be a lot cheaper than £800! - Dublin to Holyhead and Liverpool to Belfast are £200 to £250 for a family of 4 + car.

If it's booked and part-paid for, then you just need to focus on the positives and go ahead. Celebrate with whoever can make it.

I think it would be risky to book flights & accommodation later as Ireland during August is going to be very popular.

People could always book somewhere self-catering and have a holiday before/after the wedding to get the most out of the travel costs, but obviously that would be their choice. I did that when I had to travel to the north of Scotland for a friend's wedding - it ended up being cheaper to book a self-catering cottage for a week than a hotel for 2 nights anyway!

Hi, I feel your pain! I am doing the opposite and having (a lot of!) people from Ireland travel to England. I'm managing this by giving enough notice to book flights and hotels and giving very clear details on our website (providing drinks, etc.) so people can make an informed decision - it sounds like you've been very thoughtful already. Flights, car rental, and accommodation have all gone a bit wild, especially in Ireland - not your fault! People can always turn down the invite if it isn't affordable (if that feels okay to you to have some dropout). I turned down a couple of cousins' weddings last year because of increased costs, amongst other reasons. I don't think it's your responsbility to substitute the cost of people travelling to your wedding - that sounds like an impossible task. As student, I did Sail & Rail to a friend's wedding and stayed in a hostel, gave a smaller gift contribution, etc. Good luck

If lots of people are student social workers they absolutely will not be able to afford to go to a wedding in Ireland in August with the cost of living crisis and price rises and I think I would prioritise a weeks family holiday of my own choosing rather than a wedding if I had to spend £800. Could you make your Ireland wedding smaller (inc all the packages and numbers) so that it's the closest family, who would be there hell or high water, then have an evening party in England when you get back for all your friends? We only confirm numbers 6 weeks before our wedding.