Venue frustration / Berks venues help - updated

Have you considered changing time of year? You usually get large discounts for off season or cutting down the day time list and putting the bulk of people as evening etc? Also where abouts are you looking and what are you looking for as hit hers may be able to help :-)

Aww, big hugs . I'm feeling a bit like that too. Had to give up an awesome 'wow' venure as we had to admit it wasn't feasible the more we looked into it. Really hope you find somewhere else if you can't negotiate something x

Another vote here for seeing if you can change the month/day you're getting married. We've gone for a Maundy Thursday, which means we get a discounted package from our venue (out of season and not a "normal" wedding day), and it saved us about £2,000.

Alternatively, if a "wow" venue is important to you, are there other areas where you'd be happy to cut back in order to save money that can then be allocated to the venue? For example, can you go for simple, cheap centrepieces ("wow" venues rarely need a lot of decoration); could you drive yourselves or a relative drive you to the ceremony (everyone will be inside, so a flash car is only really important if you want it in photos); do you really want a stunning cake, or would a simple sponge/fruit cake from the likes of M&S with a little additional decoration by yourselves be enough?

I felt the same way! We were looking for venues in the hants/Surrey/Berks border area that weren't ridiculously expensive or horrible (I am very fussy, so my idea of horrible is probably fine for most ). We also wanted to get married in October and found that some places still classed October as 'in season' even though I thought we might get bargain prices for that time of year.

The VAT thing I see with a lot of weddings also pees me off, it's not like I can't pay it! I have no advice but I feel your frustration. On a positive note we did find somewhere in the end.

We went through the same thing. Venue was the most important thing for us though, we wanted something with the wow factor. Our venue is expensive but we picked a thursday to get the cost down a bit x

I think we've done pretty much everything to try to reduce costs.

After reading from this site and others I've picked up a lot of tips, so we're looking at a Thursday, but currently in May/June... but even changing the date to March doesn't make much of a dent. We only have about 60 people day and then 100 evening and the minimum for day is 60 anyway!

Thank you for the advice, the venue is really important but when it comes in over £13k for just food and venue (basic, we'd also want a hog roast for evening which is extra charge), we cannot justify the cost... I've sent a little e-mail asking if there is ANYTHING they can do to bring the cost down, but not holding much hope.

Hopefully next weekend we will be re-wow'd by Highfield and I'll be able to calm down...

:: Edit :: Oh and if anyone does want to suggest venues (I have looked at LOADS...) then I'm happy to get new ideas!

£13k for 60 in the day then 100 in the evening? And for a Thursday? That's quite a lot. Have you thought of looking further afield to see if Surrey is just particularly expensive? I would have thought you should be able to get a lovely venue for less than £10k for those numbers.

We had Harlaxton Manor in Grantham on a Saturday in March for 140 people during the day then more in the evening for less than that (it was 2012, granted, but still...) We aren't from Grantham and neither are our families but everyone traveled and it was fab.

Might be worth expanding your search area a little (not to Grantham maybe but a bit further out)!

My mum actually lives in Lincoln so Grantham isn't too bad an option - there doesn't sem to be much choice on here venues-wise though! OH's parents live in Cornwall so that's another option but it's just going to make visits less practical and as Berkshire/Surrey etc are that much more central I was hoping to have it here... but you're right, we might need to just look at somewhere we love rather than it being relevant. Only other issue with this is that we're looking at a church wedding so we'd either need a link to the church or several weekends spent in the area to attend church!

I totally get wanting a 'wow on arrival' kind of venue. We were the same. We liked Botleys but found it over our budget.

Whereabouts are you looking for venues? I noticed that you are in Bracknell. Some of the venues we were considering that may be close to you were:

Nonsuch Mansion, Latimer Place, Duffield House, Stoke Park, Sir Christopher Wren, Macdonald Berystede Hotel & Spa, Bisham Abbey, Wentworth Club.

And our favourite which is a our venue: Northcote House

I had a search radius of about two hours from Leeds (where we live) and went from there.

You're right though - having a church wedding does make it slightly harder but still doable depending on church times and how many times you'd need to attend. If their service was at 10am on a Sunday, for example, you could be there and back by 1pm.

Personally I don't agree with wanting a WOW on arrival. I have been to too many weddings and gone WOW then got inside and it is a bit MEH. You have to continue this all the way through so when they see ceremony/reception they scream WOW too but this can be very pricey! Our budget is around 6K we have opted for a village hall, it is very basic yep but gives us the money to do it up to the max. I think it's better for people to go, oh look a village hall then get in a be transformed to another place completely. Perhaps look at less fancy, so you can still have the time of year/people/day you want and then do up the inside. Unless you have over 10k or willing to travel afar it's not really that do-able. Sometimes you just have to compromise! Good luck finding a venue, don't give up hope.

We felt exactly the same!

Our dream venue was going to work out way too expensive and then we couldn't decide between others. In the end we did a pros/cons list of each and decided that way. Our venue is beautiful, but I am sad we weren't able to get the dream one. We had to be realistic though and do what we could afford. It's hard but you'll find something.

Huge good luck with it

Hello lovely. you sound very much in my area- i'm in fboro, so on the border of hants/surrey/berks so i might be able to suggest places. so i don't rake over old ground- where have you already looked/decided against in the search?? is there a theme you're sticking to? rustic? glitzy?

hope to help some!

Thank you everyone, I have had a message back from the venue and they say there are options if I'm willing to bring the date to 2015 as they're knocking off VAT and stuff... seriously considering sending out STDs with "May 2016" and booking the venue last minute and next year hardly any Thursdays are even booked and if we send invites out 6 months in advance it shoudn't be too bad... in theory!

Venues I have looked into and crossed off would be a long list and some I think I've even forgotten! We would rather not have a hotel or golf course wedding and loved Wasing Park (barn) as well as Botley (mansion). I can try to pull together a rough lsit when I get home, though We are looking at Stoke Barn next weekend at their open day, as well as visiting Moor Hall soon and their outside space looks beautiful, so it will depend on how much we can do with the inside a little bit. I have ideas for simple and elegant and rustic - I love rustic but I'm not sure how much the OH will go along with it so it might have to be more 'vintage/elegant' but I think we can work with this idea anywhere.

I get what some of you are saying about not focusing so much on the 'wow', but it's something we both really want, so I'm trying to make it happen for our one big day

I'll start compiling my own list of suggestions, then cross off any you've mentioned and hopefully something may leap out

Well, don't lose hope. I think that the wow factor is also important. One of my favourites is "The Elvetham" in Hartley Witney.

Ok, time to stretch these finger muscles!

So far I have looked into (ones starred have been visited):

Wasing Park *
Rivervale Barn *
Farnham Castle*
Clock Barn
Bearwood College *
Botleys Mansion *
Cain Manor
Cantley House Hotel
Easthampstead Park
Elvetham Hotel
Highfield Park *
Horsley Park
Moor Hall
Pennyhill
Royal Berkshire Hotel
South Hill Park *
Stirrups Country Park
Ufton Court
Warbrook House
Stoke Barn Farm
Marwell Wildlife Park
Silchester House
Sunningdale Park

We already fell in love with Bearwood College, but they're not taking any more bookings due to the college being refurbished and telling the events team not to do any more weddings. So this is partly why I'm even more sad about this one!

I've been doing all of the research bit all by myself and am getting closer to the point where I just want to say "You choose one, I don't care anymore!" and watch him try to choose something... I was actually in love with Royal Berks but the deposit seemed ridiculous... turns out it's pretty standard so maybe we should actually look there. It's not the same doing this on my own :/

Ok- i still have my venue list on the old hard drive and i dug it up, crossed off those mentioned and here you go:

wotton house: http://www.wottonhousedorkingsurrey.co.uk/ the ceremony room.......wow! and the grounds! eeee! and the drive up gives a tingle

audleys wood: https://www.handpickedhotels.co.uk/audleyswood the drive up is lovely, i personally think the ceremony room is awesome and they had their marquee refurbished last year

tylney hall: https://www.tylneyhall.co.uk/ hello!!!!!!!!!! says it all lol

hook house hotel: https://www.hookhousehotel.co.uk/ a hidden favourite of mine

gate street barn: https://www.gatestreet.co.uk loved this one but they didn't have our date

foxhills: https://www.foxhills.co.uk/ where i want my cousin to marry...... this one

trunkwell mansion house: https://www.trunkwell.com/ been to a wedding here and the staff were amazing- even the evening guests were treated like royalty

pitt hall barn: http://www.pitthallbarn.co.uk/ a friend married here and her pictures are gorgeous

aviator hotel: https://aviatorhampshire.com/ not even remotely rustic i know, but by crikey it's the got wow factor!!!

froyle park: https://froylepark.com/ this one only opened recently so i know less about it, but our wedding tog has photographed there and wowee, if it had been open before we married it'd have been a contender for sure!

great fosters: https://alexanderhotels.co.uk/great-fosters/ *sigh, very dreamy sigh*

northbrook park: https://www.northbrookpark.co.uk/ stunning place- def' wow

hampshire four seasons: https://www.fourseasons.com/hampshire/ cha-ching on the old pricing structure but you get your moneys-worth

coworth park: https://www.dorchestercollection.com/ascot/coworth-park another cha-ching but blimey o' riley- soooooooooooooo worth it

the vyne: https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/hampshire/the-vyne a friend is marrying here and speaks VERY highly of the service thus far. stunning place

we married at loseley, which is in my humble opinion, the most stunning place on earth: https://www.loseleypark.co.uk/, although i know they're having refurb' work, i THINK next year, so it might depend on your date

hope some of these help. if i think of more i'll let you know!!!

Gorse hill: http://www.deverevenues.co.uk/en/venues/gorse-hill/ gorgeous- kinda a 'whitehouse in the uk countryside' look to it hehe

Wow, thank you miss_winter - that should be enough to get me started (again...) Will definitely let you know if we end up looking at some of these, they look beautiful!

Ah i have my uses hehe

when we were 'tog shopping, photographers at wedding fairs used to drop their jaws in shock that i could identify 90% of the venues in their sample albums on sight hahaha

How did you find the time and energy to go to see all of those places??

Some we went to wedding fairs, some were dedicated visits and some were other peoples weddings (the best measure of a venue in my mind- seeing it in action!)

we probably spent out on petrol the cost of the bleedin' suits visiting venues, but was worth it. found my dream venue, found our first night venue, found our first anniversary stay....... and became a venue guru on hitched lol

Haha, well now that you say it like that! Thank you so much, just hoping that one of these (or one of the originals, still got the Highfield re-visit and if we can see it I think it makes the most sense to stop faffing!) work out.

We're currently working on a 30 minutes from RG12 search just because of church to venue distance, but these are worth keeping in mind if we choose to broaden the search!

Have you been to see easthampstead park? Its a lovely place. We go there a few times a year for various things and would be where I was getting married if I hadn't fallen in love with a cave!

Ha, fell in love with a cave? That sounds fun! It was on a original list but somehow got kind of pushed to one side... (possibly partly due to the over-informative brochure??) and I was told it smells like school dinners by a vendor...? Lol.

Good to hear a positive recommendation, I might see if we can book a viewing in the new year sometime but gonna give any kind of booking a rest for now. We've kind of fallen in love with Botley's so much that we're finding it hard to see anything else Still trying though!

UPDATE: We may have found the one! We managed to see Warbrook House this afternoon and OH really liked the drive up and the house and the accomodation meets what we would like and we can both imagine the flow of the day and it's nearby and the price is good andandand - yeah

Trying so hard not to get too excited, but failing... however, OH is refusing to give any kind of definite answer (which is still really annoying me, but I'm trying to let it all go for the Christmas period from today) but I think it is pretty possible that Warbrook is the place unless OH decides to hold out for Botley's Mansion (the price gets more managable if we wait until this time next year to book for 2016)

Thanks again for the help people, there are a few from miss_winter14's list that I have added to my "to look at" list if OH decides that we should keep looking, but at the moment, I'm so happy! x

Did you decided on somewhere in the end? we are getting married at the elevtham...boteys mansion was 1st choice but just couldnt afford the pricetag off like 22k lol!!!x

great fosters: https://alexanderhotels.co.uk/great-fosters/ *sigh, very dreamy sigh*

Our favourite hotel! Stayed there at the weekend! Lovely!

Glad you managed to find somewhere. That's round my neck hurts f the woods but I think all places have been covered!!