Venue question- budget related.

My dream venue was Kew Gardens. It means a lot to me and my fiancé, we spend a lot of time there and when we first started talking about marriage (before we got engaged) it was the place we both imagined for our wedding.

It is a very expensive venue, and to have our wedding there we would have had to make so many compromises that it just wouldn’t have been what we dreamed anyway.

The venue we have chosen is perfect for us. It offers everything we want at a price we can comfortably afford, meaning we can make it our dream. When it comes down to it, our actual dream is to celebrate our marriage with our family and friends - the place is just a part of that.

Oh yes and in terms of advice - go out and start visiting places that are within your budget. You’ll find one that makes you feel happy and then the fun can really start.

I think sometimes what you think is your dream venue online, actually isn't in real life. I thought I wanted to get married at Hever Castle. However, when I visited it, it didn't feel right and the list of cons got longer. In the end they out weighed how much I thought I initially loved it.

I would advise making a list of requirements and also factor in budget. For example as much as I loved Hever Castle initially, it was too far from the church, it was too big for our number of guests and the suppliers I liked were too far from it, that coupled with the cost made it unrealistic and I soon realised my 'dream venue' was not my dream venue at all!

The venue we chose is actually perfect. It ticks all the boxes we wanted and when we visited it, we instantly loved it and it felt right to both of us. So we compromised on date so it would fit our budget. (I'm having a weekday wedding rather than a weekend).

My advice is once you have made a list of your practical requirements, is to find venues that fit this and then go visit them. When you are there seeing the space you may get married in, its very different to looking at it online. Once you find the right venue, you will know! You might surprise yourself - something you think is a second choice, could actually be the dream venue!!

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Omg Hever Castle used to be my dream venue too!!! It was what I imagined when I was a kid and pictured my wedding being in the Italian gardens! I'm completely with you though - their package is really expensive and a lot of cons jumped out at me, including food suppliers not appealing, minimum numbers being very high and the reception rooms actually being really bland/needing a lot of expensive additional decor.

We then completely shifted gears and wanted a beach wedding - which became the new dream, the better dream! Partly because Hever felt like my dream, and the beach felt like our dream. I'm really lucky as we did book our top choice dream beach venue - it's expensive, but we managed to get the cost down to something we could budget for because we were happy to go for a smaller 50 person guest list. To us, it was worth it to have the wedding we wanted in a really special place and just invite our closest family and friends - rather than all the extended family and obligation invites. As with everything wedding related, it often comes down to what you're willing to compromise on!

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I know me too! I think it just shows that what you dream about isn't always the best option for your wedding.

That sounds lovely. I think beach weddings can look so beautiful.

The venue we ended up with is actually a Tudor manor house, and is perfect and suits us both. My FH loves history and we like visiting historical places, so it is a perfect fit. Its cosier and the reception marque has beautiful draping, that doesn't need any additional decor, other than what is going on the tables.

I totally agree with you there. We have a guestlist of 60 including children. There are many extended family members we didn't invite, but we only wanted people there who are close to us and that we see regularly.

My imaginary dream venue was a rustic barn full of fairy lights and a big garden with no corkage and all very chill, when we went to visit similar we disliked them for similar reasons above. They were too big, they were too expensive, they’d need a lot of expensive decor adding, no corkage didn’t actually work out beneficial etc.
The venue we chose is one that when we were looking online beforehand ticked every box, which is why it made down to the final 5, but we could never remember the name of, without consulting our list. That stopped the moment we got there. Before we’d even got in, we stood in the car park, I was like here, it’s going to be here.
We took all the details, asked all the questions anyway, and then did an objective (as much as one can anyway) checklist of all the venues, and it came out the winner by a country mile.Just keep an open mind, and don’t get your heart set on anything too specific, as you never know what will actually make your heart go “it’s here”.

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My dream venue was the Royal Botanic Gardens in Edinburgh as it was walking distance from where I grew up so I spent so much of my childhood there and I even used to cycle there on sunny days with a packed picnic and do my exam revision. But it was WAY expensive. So were a number of hotels. My other dream was a rustic barn - but I have M.E., my mother in law is disabled and one of my best friends has M.E. so we needed somewhere with rooms on site for people to go rest in if needed (including me!)

Basically I've gone for a hotel with a cheaper package than most places in Edinburgh that had a wedding coordinator who seems very on the ball with things. For me, it was about the people not the aesthetic - I really want to gather as many of my friends as I can especially after the pandemic which has meant I've not been able to travel to see people (as unfortunately the majority of my friends live at least 130 miles away - most of them hundreds of miles more!)

Do we have enough room for people? Yes.
Is there somewhere pretty close by for photographs if its nice? Yes.
Can we get indoor/sheltered photographs if the weather is horrific? Yes.

I know lots of other people would far rather have a smaller wedding and pay more for the vibe and that's totally fine.

My point is - work out what is most important to you. Find out what deals there are. My friend is getting married mid-week at a lovely outdoor venue which makes it much cheaper. We couldn't do that as my sister is a teacher and so are several of our guests who are scattered across the UK. The only time the English and Scottish holidays really crossover is festival time in Edinburgh so it would have made accommodation and travel to the city way higher for our guests.

My DREAM idea for our venue was Claridge's in London but we are definitely not millionaires. our second idea was Wadhurst Castle because both myself and FH love castles and I'm a massive history nerd (Particularly the Tudor period) However when we contacted them they were so rude and gave us the impression that they didn't want anyone of 'our ilk' to be married there. (Not responding to emails/being vague on the phone about when we could schedule a viewing etc) so based on their attitude we decided to look at places that deserved our business/special day.

The venue we ended up falling in love with is the same venue my best friends got married at in 2022, which surprised us both. (FH hadn't be able to attend their wedding, so never saw the venue before) we asked my best friends if they minded us getting married there too as we didn't want to step on their toes and they said it didn't bother them so we booked it.

it was within budget and what we were looking for and the staff are lovely so it's a win win. sometimes it's all about the vibe of a place once you make contact, if you get a bad vibe never book to get married there.

Hi Poppy,

I have been very lucky as my venue I fell in love with when I see it online and then when we visited it was even more perfect in the flesh. It is above budget for sure but I now couldn't imagine getting married anywhere else now I have seen it. So happy with the venue but wishing the next 2 years wasn't going to be so tight! We are trying to make some sacrifices to get the extra together (No holiday this year or next) should cover it. hopefully!

Good luck with your search, enjoy visiting venues and keep an open mind when you go, lots of wedding fairs kicking off at the moment, find local ones and have a look at dressed venues.