Very long distance between ceremony and reception

And I would never want to leave that early.

You asking people to travel for 3.5 hours for five hours of fun party. I wouldn't make this choice.

What's wrong with the church near your Mum's?

Ok, that's good to know, thank you. You are right the bus back to London is really early but we were hoping most people would stay down in Sussex... I guess that is asking £££ though.

The local church in Sussex is much too small for our guests unfortunately.

It's probably reasonable to expect that many people will choose to stay over in Sussex for the night so maybe this isn't a major concern.

However, having re-read your itinerary, I have realised that it is close to three hours just to get to the reception venue (with a stop off to check into hotels).

Have you considered having fewer at the ceremony (therefore using your Mum's local church) and then inviting everyone else to an extended evening do in Sussex? That way, people don't feel obliged to attend the church if it's a logistical nightmare (which it is) and can make their own way to you in the afternoon. If I received an invitation like this, I'd probably only come to the reception - sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

It is an awfully long time to travel on your wedding day, as a guest I'd struggle with it especially on a coach as I get travel sick.

Also do you have any kids going? I'd hate to do that trip with my 3yo.

It's your day but for me it was also important my guests are happy and looked after.

Personally I would say they are to far away, to much travelling time in the wrong part of the day.

I think you would find it difficult to keep the atmosphere up - and end up going into the meal/party with (in my opinion) people not in the right mood.

I defiantly wouldn't want to encourage people to leave that early either

I think that is too much of a faff to be honest. A full day wedding goes so quickly if you are only in one or two locations with limited travel, the travelling would be a huge chunk of that which could be fun on paper, but I image a pain for the majority of people. I also agree with Footlong - after travelling all that distance I'd not be wanting to go home at 9.30!

Could you look at possibilty of reducing the number of guests in your mum's church to only family/close friends, then have everyone join you in the marquee after the cermony?

Yes I suppose when you look at it like that (i.e. 3 hrs) it really is just asking too much from everyone. I think of the two venues (the London church and the sussex venue) the London church is more meaningful to us (and a LOT easier for the Cornish / Irish contingent) so we'll probably go for a London reception venue.

What do you think of the option of having the ceremony in London on Saturday, then quiet evening meal in London with close friends / family, then big party in Sussex on the Sunday? (it's planned for the May bank holiday weekend so people could stay down on Sunday if they liked)..

Only you know your guests but those that have to travel will be looking at at least 3 nights accommodation and also travelling to one place and leaving from another might be tricky if it's by plane/rail. If most people are local then it could work though.

I was going to suggest that also - spin it out to a whole wedding weekend! This may be the best option if you want the church and your mum's garden.

Will be easier logistically for some people but be aware that effectively people would be travelling a long way from home essentially to go to an evening do! You may need to get round this by having more a 'full' day/evening do than just a big party.

Also factor in extra costs - you'd probably want your hair/make up etc. done both days.

Tbh I think its a tad far! My OH and I went to a wedding last may and had a 1 hour drive between the ceremony and reception. It's awkward with transportation and timings and 3 hours is a lot longer.

how small is the church in your mum's village? If you can fit all your guests into a bus it must be teeny!

If you think London is more important venue wise I'd say go for that. I love the idea of a 2 day party tho! I'm getting married may bank holiday 2014 and it's lovely we are all going to make a long weekend out of the whole celebration!

My sister and I went to my cousins wedding a couple of years ago and there was a half hour drive in between ceremony and reception. I was driving and she fell asleep in the car! There was a noticable lack of "buzz" when everyone arrived back for the ceremony, the excitement seemed to fizzle a little but the overall day was a good one! I do think your situation would be a tad too far, though.

My issue would be, if I came to the ceremony and wanted to stay over, how would I then get home? I'd have left my car near the ceremony, and be stranded in a different county with no transport. I'm usually fine about ceremony and reception in different places, but I think an hour is the max acceptable time, so people can drive between venues then choose to stay at or near the reception venue if they want to.

defo wouldn’t want the hassle for myself and more particularly for my guests. I personally think that whilst you want a nice venue, we are talking marriage here and your vows are more important than the knees up. So I think go with the church you love, find a 'suitable' venue nearby..... Then have a party at your mums for a christening celebration or something ;0)

Thanks so much everyone. It's been really useful to get your input.

What would you think if you were invited to the following (on a bank holiday)? 80% of the guests are from London but there are also people from Ireland, Cornwall and Sussex.

SATURDAY

15:00 Ceremony in London

16:30 Champagne Toast and afternoon tea nearby

18:00 Free evening in London

SUNDAY

16:00 Champagne, canopes, cocktails and outdoor entertainments in Sussex (a bus would meet the 15:47 train from London to the local station)

18:00 photos

18:30 dinner

20:30 speeches

21:00 dancing

Part of me thinks it would be better to have everything on one day, but if we really wanted to have both venues I guess it could work well like this?

THANK YOU!

To me, its just too long and too expensive. I personally, value my weekends and taking 2 days out of it for a wedding no matter how entertaining, would really pee me off. But that's just me. Sorry. Good luck!

I would suggest having the ceremony at your church in London one day, with a reception nearby immediately after. Then ask your mum to host a party the next day. You get to use both venues and have an all-weekend wedding, but guests can celebrate properly with you without having to stay over and travel to Sussex if they don't want to.

Agree. I'd keep everything in one day (i.e. have an evening reception in London) then have a do at your mam's on the Sunday that people can attend if they want.

That way the Sunday can be a much more relaxed affair. My parents did this after their wedding and it worked really well.

If it were me I'd have a very small ceremony with just close family and friends. Then have everyone else arriving for the rest of the day, wedding breakfast through to evening do x