Vows

We are doing our own, is personal choice, bit I feel the day is about you as a couple so the words should be too and makes me t more intimate.


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Good luck

Unless you are having the legal marriage bit done earlier, you will need to make a couple of specific promises using set wording (there is a choice of wording, depending on whether you are having a civil or religious ceremony, and the person conducting it should be able to provide you with the options you can choose from). Once that is done, it's up to you if you add any more personal vows of your own.

We had a church wedding, and stuck with the formal vows, although we did pick a fairly modern version. I've heard a lot of self-written vows and while they may be personal to the couple, they come across as a bit cringy to those listening and usually seem a little 'lightweight' for such a serious moment. And I liked the idea of making the same promises that have been made for generations past, because it linked in to those loved ones who are no longer with us But that's just my personal feeling - if other people want to write their own, that's fine, but those are the reasons I didn't want to.

View quoted message We're not having a church wedding but I think I will go with some modern ones as I'm not very good at writing my thoughts down x

There isn't much le-way with Church vows other then a slightly more modern version part of which removes "Obey" from "to love honour and obey"

What a lovely sentiment RomanticGreenStationery27135 attitude to Church vows "making the same promises that have been made for generations past, because it linked in to those loved ones who are no longer with us"

After all - you are getting married in a Church !

When it comes to a civil ceremony there are the "contractual words" that have to be said but they only amount to a couple of lines each. You are then free to say your own words.

I have seen 100s of self written versions after the official words and getting the balance right between cringey and lightweight is not an easy task for most people unless they happen to be professional speech writers. A few funny bits always seem to go down well but then if you are that kind of a person then your guest would expect nothing else from you.

A reminder that you do not have to do any of your own words and if you do not then the registrar will happily say some for you (they love it ! )

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You can actually say your own vows in church as long as they are in addition to the legal church ones and not instead of, and as long as the minister is happy. Our minister actually asked us if we wanted to say any of our own after the 'legal bit', but we chose not to.

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Ok - good info perhaps I should of said ---- from my experience no one actually takes up the offer of any extra / different vows in a Church - just like you did not do and that's why I ( wrongly ) -- thank you - assumed there was not the option to do so.

I think a lot also depends on your actual vicar involved -- some are "old school" but most now are younger and more open to change -- within the COE guidelines .