Vows. After advice and experience

We did our own vows, and I’m so pleased we did. I was a little apprehensive as I had no idea what he was going to say, but in the end that bit of personalisation really made it special. Remember that they’re to reflect you and your relationship - my hub’s vows ended up being quite romantic and lovey, while mine were more lighthearted ( though with some lovey feeling in them too!)
I’d told him beforehand mine were not deeply romantic, but were quite lighthearted, and I referenced things that have meaning to us in our relationship (love of sports, how he’s always asking me what that actor’s been in before!). I think it’s a lovely thing to do, but you shouldn’t have to go too far out of your comfort zone. If your style is more reserved than his, then your vows can totally reflect that. theyre generally quite short (125 - 150 words) so there’s not room for whole sonnets, you can just state the things that have meaning to you, as a person and as a couple, and the commitment you want to make, and he can do the same in his vows, which can be a totally different style to your vows. You can choose to read your vows first if you expect his May be more flowery, or if you expect that hearing his vows might make you cry. It is a nice personal touch, and guests commented to us afterwards that they liked that bit of personalisation and difference. However if it’s something you’re really really uncomfortable with then of course you shouldn’t have to do it, and perhaps he would be better putting his words in a speech?