Walking Down the Aisle

I think that is perfectly fine and as you said, a lot more common than you think! My mum is walking me down the aisle as my dad has never really been there for me, he isn't invited to the wedding but the rest if his family are and I just think if anyone has an issue with it then that's on them. It's your day, you have who you want walking you down and if you want them both then that's up to you xx

Hi Hannah,
I’ve had the same sort of issue, however I’m close to both my Dads. I wanted my stepdad to have a special part in my day but I know my Dad would be really upset if I tried to incorporate both in to walking me down the isle. So instead, I’ve asked my step dad to be a witness and I’m going to try and subtly make him feel more special and involved at the time. I’m thinking of capturing a dad/daughter ‘first look’ photo with him (he doesn’t have any other daughters so would never have this opportunity again). I’ve included him loads in the ideas and he even came wedding dress shopping with me. You must do what you feel is right, it’s your day and hopefully your Dad can understand this - have you tried explaining why it’s so important to have them both there by your side on the day? Maybe your Dad just needs a little time to come round to the idea.
I hope things work out for you relatively drama / stress free. x

It is your day so do it your way. Your dad's reaction says it all, he doesn't respect your choice and is being quite selfish as ultimately he knows it puts him in a bad light, but that is through his behaviour and not stepping up. Don't mean to dig him out but if he can't respect your choice then what sort of parent is he? Stick to your guns, tell him it is what you want and can he respect your decision, is not personal but your stepdad has also played a big part in your life. Good luck

If your dad wanted to be the only person walking you down the aisle, he should have been more involved in your life earlier. He's just reaping the consequences of his past actions. Many fathers who have been as uninvolved as him would find themselves playing no role at all in the ceremony.

His attitude says it all - he's being really selfish. Make it clear to him that your step dad walking you down the aisle is not optional - the only choice your dad has is whether or not he chooses to join in that walk.

As for what is 'normal' - in recent years, I've seen brides walk down the aisle on their own, with a son/daughter, with a mother, with a best friend, with both parents, with a father-in-law-to-be... I met my OH at the church door and we walked down the aisle together!

And ultimately, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You are the bride, and you need to walk down that aisle with the person/people you feel comfortable walking with. You need to make your choice based on who you want to be supporting you at that important moment, not on what anyone else in the family thinks.

I feel that your step father has been more of an influence in your life and there for you. Don’t forget that you don’t have to be blood related to be family. I’m quite sure that you will make the right decision.

I’m in the same situation!!! Legit don’t know what to do. I’m leaning towards just step-dad considering how bio-dad is acting! Best of luck, go with your gut.

Do what you want! I’d be frank with your (bio) dad, tell him your step dad stepped up and he deserves to do it too. Be honest, and tell your (bio) dad he doesn’t have to do it if he’s not comfortable doing it with your step dad 😅 it’s your day- best of luck xx

I've only just started planning my wedding, but the most important thing I have taken away from seeing other people planning and the forum on this website is that it is your day. You should do what is going to make you happy and keep drama to a minimum.

I say this because I have a troubled family myself. Similar to you, my parents divorced when I was around the same age and my dad wasn't around for the next 20 years. I had a rather strained relationship with my step dad though. I would love my dad to give me away, but we don't have a close relationship and I don't think he would want to come anyway. I don't particularly want my step dad to give me away either.

At the moment I am considering asking my Mum, as she's been the constant in my life.

Maybe there is some kind of compromise that will keep everyone happy? When you have someone with strong feelings like you father, you are never going to please everyone unfortunately. This is your day and you have to do what you can to keep it happy and stress free!

I hope you find a solution x

My friend was in the exact same situation and her dad point blank refused to share the role with her stepdad who was the one who actually raised her. He ended up not attending her wedding and they’ve been completely estranged ever since, he hasn’t even met his grandchild. Says a lot about the man, his ego and how selfish he is. Her step dad offered to step down as he just wanted her to be happy- that’s the mark of a true father

You are not wrong to have both your father and stepfather walk you down the aisle. It is your special day, and you have the right to make decisions that are meaningful to you.

Hello - father pov input
I am a dad to a little girl, me and her mum split when she was 3. I have a very good relationship with my daughter and we are very close, despite living 70 miles apart (she is 9). She also has her mums partner who I fully accept is a part of her life.
If she came to me about this situation I would relay my feelings, in that I am her dad and in an ideal world I would want to be the one who walks her down the aisle and give her away ( mind you we have a great relationship and it’s not like I’ve had no input in her life) and ask her if she can incorporate my feelings into her decision making .If she was to decide she wanted both, I would completely respect her decision, and would rather be a part of it all than bite my nose off to spite my face about it.From a father point of view - as the one who brought her into this world, I would definitely want to be the one to give her away, solely. It may seem selfish but as a dad I am immensely proud of what I have brought into this world, sometimes thinking and logic gets a little lost in how we portray ourselves when it comes to our little girl

View quoted message

It's great that you have so much involvement in your daughter's life. I'm sure that will be reflected in how she views you as she grows up. I think OPs case is a little different, since, judging by her posts, her father has not shown much interest in being involved in her life since he left.

View quoted message I totally agree and acknowledge that op’s situation is different, was just trying to be the voice of a side as she asked for impartial advice, and I didn’t think that it had been reflected fully in the responses before mine