Wearing The Dress Twice? Be seen in it Before the 'Real' Wedding?

Although a different situation, I am having 2 dresses. For the first paper signing I am wearing a cheap BHS dress and then afterwards for the church wedding i am having my 'proper' dress.

Would this be a possibility for you?

Absolutely this! Sorry to read of your situation

Sod tradition and superstition - if you're happy with it, do it. Fiance and I are and going to be getting ready together and walking down the aisle together so he'll see me in the dress before the ceremony. Doesn't bother us. Do what your heart says is right. x

I love the tradition of not being seen in your dress before the wedding and the cake cutting and things like that but in this case I say forget tradition. My nan passed away 3 days after we booked our wedding venue and I really regret not being able to talk to her about it and if I could I would have shown her my dress etc before the big day and if you have that chance I say take it x

Sorry to hear about you FIL x

anyway my friend had a civil ceremony as she isn't religious and then had a blessing in her hubby's family church as his grandma wanted them to get married there so they compromised, anyway she wore her dress for both xx

Sorry to hear this, it's a difficult problem.

My thoughts are ...

Is there any legal reason why you can't marry in the UK and then have a Catholic ceremony in Poland? It might seem odd but would it be legal to do that? I'd suggest speaking to the Polish priest and asking for his advice. It's possible he may be willing to do a wedding or blessing even though you'd be legally married in the UK. It seems a shame to delay the wedding. You could have both and wear your dress for both.

My friends had two wedding days in the UK - one for the brides family in Somerset and the other for the grooms family in Leeds. They had so many friends to invite that it made sense for them!

Having read your previous thread I think you've come to a really nice solution in the circumstances. So sorry it's been something you've even had to consider though.

We're having 2 ceremonies and I'll be wearing my same wedding dress to both. I also consider them both to be 'my wedding day' so neither one is more significant than the other - so how could I choose which to wear 'the' dress for.

Our first ceremony will be a church blessing in the UK, we are resident in New Zealand and can't afford to take enough time off work to meet UK residency laws so we can't legally marry in the UK. However my OH's parents are too ill to travel and many of our family woudnt be able to afford the trip so it was important to us both to have a UK ceremony. my Dad desperately wanted to properly give me away, so we decided to go down the slightly unusual route of blessing before the legal marriage. It will look like any other wedding (dress, vows, rings, bridesmaid) we just won't do the legal declarations or sign the register, so we won't actually be married at the end of it. Even though it isn't legal there's no way I would consider the day I make significant vows of commitment in the presence of my closest family and friends not to be a 'proper' wedding.

Then 6 months later we'll have a smaller wedding back home in NZ, but as this takes care of the legal formalities, and we will celebrate this with our friends over here, I still consider it to be my wedding day - so the dress will get a second outing.

So, after y rambling explanation YES, I'd say it's perfectly fine to wear your dress twice!

Mine was a strapless gown that has been customised with a detachable top as I didn't want a strapless gown, however now I have the option of making the dress itself look slightly different if I want to. I also plan to ring the changes between the two weddings with changes in hairstyle and possibly different accessories (cost depending). Wedding one will be accessorised with pearl and lace while wedding 2 will have bolder jewel coloured accessories (at least that's the plan for now!) So even though the dress is the same you could still have a fresh new look for each of your special days.

Oh, just one other thing - are you planning for the first wedding to be a church blessing? I think I remember you mentioning that was what you hoped for.

That's what we're doing, but you may want to speak with your minister about it. The minister at the church I grew up in wasn't willing to offer a blessing when the legalities of the marriage had not yet been completed. Not only that but despite my Uncle being an ordained minister, she wasn't willing to allow him to use 'her church' as a venue for a blessing on an 'unwed couple'. Bah, humbug!!!!

Another local minister heard about it (not sure how - small town I guess) and offered us his church and services, so he and my uncle are now working together and have designed a beautiful blessing for us based on a traditional wedding ceremony. YAY!!

I really hope your minister is as understanding and generous as the one we are now working with.

Thank you all for your posts about my predicament. They really have helped A LOT!

Ahah YorkshireKiwi! You've made me feel heaps better (again)! I didn't know you could have a church blessing before being 'officially' married. I would prefer that. I'm glad you found an understanding minister!

In answer to other questions, getting married in his family's catholic church in Poland is very important to my OH. We've been told by catholic priests that we can't get married in a Church of England first, and then when his family are able, have a catholic wedding or even a blessing, because the 2 churches are in opposition.

I grew up in CofE churches (my dad was a vicar for many years) and whilst I didn't agree with some of it, I was very spiritual in that I always felt the marriage ceremony with the words from The Common Book of Prayer made perfect sense. Those words mean a great deal to me. And I also feel that I wouldn't be 'properly married' if I had a civil ceremony and the registrar wasn't allowed to use those words. Are they allowed to?? Or does the religious aspect stop them?

So what we were thinking of doing was go to a beach/nature spot and take our clothes off...(Only Kidding!!)...no, have someone, who also feels strongly about those words, read them and we'll say our vows/make our promises in front of my family and some of our friends. We could even have 'I now pronounce you in unity together forever' or something along those lines and light a unity candle, rather than 'I now pronounce you husband and wife'. I would feel spiritually married then at least.

But if we can get an actual church blessing like you have, then that would be better.

This!

And I'm sorry to hear about your situation. X

Christa, if you would like to pm me your email address I will send you the service wording our minister wrote for us. it will be a CofE church so I would guess the wording is closely based on the book of common prayer. We are being declared 'married in the sight of God' at the end.