Wedding abroad and plus ones - PLEASE HELP!

And you are paying for them to attend? Think they should grow up and be grateful that they are in attendance to be honest and if they have a probably perhaps decline your offer/save you money!

I don't have any advice to offer, just letting you know you've duplicated your post.

Your other ones here https://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/481694.aspx

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable, they are. It really bugs me when people think they have the right to expect others to be invited like this. Tell her they will all be welcome to the after wedding party, but the ceremony is for immediate family only. I bet you anything too you know that he, the son, won't actually expect an invitation and might not even want to come..... let alone his girlfriend - other than a trip to Italy of course.

Offer to speak to the cousin yourselves and head it off that way maybe. x

At the end of the day it is your decision, however I shall share my story with you, it may help you make a decision.

We had 80 people at our wedding. We could have had almost double that but couldn't afford it. We invited all our aunts and uncles, but because we didn't have money/room we chose to only invite 5 cousins each (we both worked out we were closest to 5 of them) and no partners of those cousins. I have 9 cousins, 5 with partners and my husband has 15 cousins, 9 with partners, so if we had invited them all the numbers would have grown massively. We also weren't inviting children other than immediate family.

I rang all my aunts and explained this to them, and they seemed fine with it, very understanding. On the day one of my aunts and uncles were absent, I spent the day really worried something had happened to them or my cousins as no one would tell me anything when I asked, which just made it worse and my nana and grandad left early (aunt mum and dad). I later found out (through my sister, not through my aunt or grandparents or even my dad, aunts brother), that they hadn't come because they were offended that my cousins, their girlfriends and children hadn't been invited when other cousins had. I used to have a good relationship with my aunt and now haven't spoken to her since the wedding and didn't get a Christmas card off them. I hadn't spoken to the cousins for more than 5 years and had never met their girlfriends, despite me initiating contact with them. If I'm honest it has really spoiled my memory of the day, my aunt and uncle aren't in any of the photos and my gran is also a bit miffed about the whole thing. It now gets me upset to think about it all and I don't feel I can bring up the wedding in front of that side of the family. Had my aunt said something before had I could have at least had the opportunity to rectify the situation, but I didn't. I'm also p!!!ed off with them because we could have give their spaces to 2 other people who would have turned up!

At the end of the day it is your decision, however I shall share my story with you, it may help you make a decision.

We had 80 people at our wedding. We could have had almost double that but couldn't afford it. We invited all our aunts and uncles, but because we didn't have money/room we chose to only invite 5 cousins each (we both worked out we were closest to 5 of them) and no partners of those cousins. I have 9 cousins, 5 with partners and my husband has 15 cousins, 9 with partners, so if we had invited them all the numbers would have grown massively. We also weren't inviting children other than immediate family.

I rang all my aunts and explained this to them, and they seemed fine with it, very understanding. On the day one of my aunts and uncles were absent, I spent the day really worried something had happened to them or my cousins as no one would tell me anything when I asked, which just made it worse and my nana and grandad left early (aunt mum and dad). I later found out (through my sister, not through my aunt or grandparents or even my dad, aunts brother), that they hadn't come because they were offended that my cousins, their girlfriends and children hadn't been invited when other cousins had. I used to have a good relationship with my aunt and now haven't spoken to her since the wedding and didn't get a Christmas card off them. I hadn't spoken to the cousins for more than 5 years and had never met their girlfriends, despite me initiating contact with them. If I'm honest it has really spoiled my memory of the day, my aunt and uncle aren't in any of the photos and my gran is also a bit miffed about the whole thing. It now gets me upset to think about it all and I don't feel I can bring up the wedding in front of that side of the family. Had my aunt said something before had I could have at least had the opportunity to rectify the situation, but I didn't. I'm also p!!!ed off with them because we could have give their spaces to 2 other people who would have turned up!

I completely agree that you are within your rights not to ask people you don't know well (I certainly wouldn't!) however I can also see it from the other side.

With getting married abroad the likelihood is that most of your guests who go to your wedding will also be combining it with their summer holiday due to the expense. If I was invited to a wedding abroad without my OH I may have to think twice about attending if it meant we wouldn't have a holiday together that year. Again it depends how close the person is to you, however I'm sure if they were close their OH would be invited anyway. I know someone has mentioned that the partner could still go on holiday but not come to the wedding but I wouldn't like to be left alone for the day and wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my OH either.