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Beginner September 2024 Umbria

Wedding anxiety…

Amy, 4 of April of 2024 at 09:03 Posted on Planning 0 4
Can anyone offer some advice?
We’re planning a wedding for this year (October)
And me and my partner are both people pleasers. We’ve really struggled with the worry of what other people think when it comes to invites to the wedding and then secondly invites to stag and hen dos. It’s really surprised us how much this has impacted us emotionally, and it’s really taking the fun out of the planning. We’re worried about unintentionally offending our family members/friends. We didn’t want a big wedding which is why we have been stringent on the guest list and we thought the stag and hen do planning would be easier but that’s not either. There’s always someone that pops up who we havnt invited and says “oooo can’t wait for the wedding/stag/hen do!!! Please tell me this has been a similar experience to other people??

4 replies

Latest activity by Mrsg, 12 of April of 2024 at 11:26
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Oh yes - people I hadn't spoken to in years started fishing for a wedding invite once we got engaged!

    A certain amount of pressure is unavoidable because there are so many people out there who love to use emotional blackmail to try to get their own way. But there are a few things you can do to limit the stress.

    1) Keep discussion about wedding planning to a minimum, especially in front of other people. The more you mention your wedding to someone, the more likely they are to assume they are invited.

    2) When you do have to refer to your wedding, or if you are asked about it directly, always mention your 'very small, simple wedding with immediate family and close friends'. Hopefully this will send the message that you will not be inviting Jane from work or your great aunt's cousin's step-daughter's nephew!

    3) Work out the maximum number of people you want to invite and book a venue that only holds that number. Then you can truthfully say that you can't invite anyone else because your venue is at capacity.

    4) If someone does assume they are invited to either the wedding or the stag/hen do, the best thing to do is tell them straight away. Just repeat the line about a 'very small wedding' with 'immediate family'.

    And remember, people who truly care about you won't judge you for having a small wedding - and you don't need to worry about those who don't care.

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  • A
    Beginner September 2024 Umbria
    Amy ·
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    Wow, this is really helpful advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this.
    I shall get putting these tips into motion!!!
    Thanks again! Xxx
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  • Katrina
    Dedicated February 2025 West Midlands
    Katrina ·
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    Remember its yours and your hubby to be special day no one else.

    This should be a joyful time make the most out of it Smiley smile

    You cant please everyone if you upset a few people then so be it. What you both say should be what goes.

    Happy wedding planning Smiley smile enjoy every moment as it will be here before you know it! Smiley heart

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  • M
    Mrsg ·
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    Hi Katrina

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! We had the same issue when planning our wedding but ultimately came to one conclusion. You can't please everyone! We stuck to our guns and explained to people not invited that we were having a small intimate wedding and therfore were restricted to numbers. People are often very understanding. It's important to remember this is your day and it has to be how you want it, not how you think others want it.
    If you haven't yet thought about preserving your wedding flowers I can recommend on Instagram ❤️
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