Wedding Breakfast set menu

She became quite angry?? I am not sure how that works when you are feeding people and they are demanding they can choose! I am afraid I think you made an error showing this particular person the menu in the first place. You are not unreasonable, she is!

I was also under the impression that only people who state they are veg, vegan or have allergies will be catered for differently. If I was to specify no dietary requirements on an RSVP I would expect to be served the main which I would assume is meat.

You should not feel guilty, she needs to get over herself! Sorry but that has made me cross on your behalf!

I agree with Yorkshirelass - people get what they are given! Why would anyone who eats meat need their dessert to be vegan?! If you are asking re dietary requirements and catering accordingly then I think it’s really unreasonable for someone to be angry you aren’t letting them pick and choose their food.
You could always blame the venue if it makes life easier - just say they didn’t let you offer choices unless they were for dietary reasons or that to do so would have cost more, which would have led to less free drinks (or such). Good luck!

It makes sense. If you eat meat you get given the meat starter and main and if you don’t eat or can’t eat meat you have the vegetarian options. I don’t understand how anyone could get angry over this… you are not being unreasonable. It would get too confusing asking people to choose what they want and 99% of weddings you all get the same starter and main (unless vegan/veggie allergic etc). This isn’t a a la carte restaurant - this is a wedding!

View quoted message Yes, she was really quite rude, essentially saying that we should challenge the caterer on her behalf and called him all sorts of insults and said he was taking advantage of us for his own benefit in much harsher terms!
But I'm so pleased you agree with us, I really didn't expect any challenges to this as I literally thought this was the norm, which it appears to be. Neither of us have actually been to a wedding before so it did give us serious doubts when she brought it up!!
Really appreciate your kind response, its certainly reassuring to hear that we're not doing it wrong. Thank you for taking the time to reply

View quoted message Thank you so much for responding, its really helpful!
Yes, her reasoning was she's not a big fan of meringue so the vegan dessert wouldn't have that on there! But then she preferred the meat main and veggie starter 🤣
I doubted myself as I've not actually been to a wedding before and just went along with what the caterers were telling me as they're the experts. I tried the path of 'this is what I've been told, it's not our decision' and she's made it sound like I've been stupid and taken advantage of for allowing them to do it this way 😭So thank you again, you've helped me regain some sanity as I've been feeling so awful, only want the guests to have the most amazing time!

View quoted message Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I'm so glad that this is on her!
Having not been to a wedding before, I've been doubting if this is the norm, but it seems that it is, so thank you for the reassurance!
I wouldn't even mind if she decided that she wanted to be "vegetarian" for the day, and have all three veggie courses, but its the cheek of asking for a meat main, veggie starter and vegan dessert that gets me! So thank you again for the reassurance

I’ve definitely been to weddings with no choice re food before - someone else is paying and it’s only one meal - (some) people need to be more appreciative. One venue we looked at charged something like £5 extra per person if we wanted to offer a choice…
We have told people our menu and asked for dietary requirements. My brother and his wife don’t eat sugar (it’s a choice) and have asked for cheese/fruit for dessert - we’ll ask the venue but if they can’t accommodate, then they will just cope !
Also, you can get vegan meringue so no guarantee she’d have got something else! 🤣🤣😝You are doing the right thing - stand firm!

Wow, how rude! We have said either meat, vegetarian or vegan and then if you have allergies let us know. We have not told anyone what the food is as in honesty they should be grateful to get a free meal! If they eat meat then they get meat, the vegan and veggie options are only for people who have that lifestyle, not because they fancy it on the day on my opinion. I would tell her that the venue don't allow mix and march so she either has full vegan or meat and that is that , or don't come!

View quoted message Thank you so much for replying! This is essentially what I have told her - I don't mind particularly if she chooses veggie/vegan as long as it's the full 3 courses, even though that's not what those options are there for, it's literally for those who can't eat meat. But at least that's a compromise and the caterers wouldn't know the difference.
But she just started telling us that the caterers were taking advantage of us and we should be allowed to pick and choose whatever courses we want etc. She's been really quite rude in the things she's said about the catering team, and it's made us feel so awful that we can't give her the food she wants.
However, the more I read these replies and other people's opinions, I realise it's her being ungrateful and unreasonable! I do wish I'd never have sent her the menu now, would have saved a lot of hassle, but she specifically asked as a friend so I had no issues with that, didn't think it would cause this!! Thank you again for your response, it's so helpful to have the back up!

Wow that’s so rude of her! We are doing the same as you and have been to weddings exactly the same and never had an issue with this - someone is paying for your food just be grateful!

When you go to a wedding most people don’t expect a choice and will only get something different if they have a particular dietary requirement. At our wedding we had two who were lactose intolerant and I’m intolerant to tomatoes. The hotel could easily accommodate all three of us. As I only get a reaction if I eat them we deliberately picked a menu that didn’t include them and asked the hotel to leave them off my salad. One guest had too much to drink before the meal and started shouting she wanted ice cream which was part of the children’s meal but she was swiftly removed by another guest. What your guest said was entirely rude and nobody expects an option at a wedding.

I haven’t really got an answer to your question but I do want to ask how you decided on your menu being vegetarians, just out of curiosity?


Myself and FH are also vegetarians and I’m seriously considering only offering a fully vegetarian menu as 1) I don’t want our meal to be like the ‘back up’ option 2) I don’t really want to spend my money on serving dead animals, I’d feel too guilty when it’s something so against what I believe in 3) Everyone can eat vegetarian food but not everyone eats meat
I’ve also not been to a wedding breakfast before (not as an adult at least) and I had assumed there would be like 2 or 3 options that guests could choose between so it’s been interesting to read your responses that the one option for all seems the norm xx

View quoted message Hi there, thank you for your response and questions, they're definitely things we dwelled over for some time too
We were very close to having a fully vegetarian menu but decided not to in the end for a couple of reasons, which I will admit are not the most valid reasons:
1. A fair number of my family are fairly "traditional meat-eaters" in that they are of the opinion that "humans are meant to eat meat" and all those comments that we regularly get as vegetarians! And quite honestly, we wanted to keep guests as happy as possible on the whole and we knew we would get a backlash if we hadn't included a meat option. 2. This one is a poor reason, but it seemed like better value-for-money to have meat options - our venue caterers own a well-renowned local restaurant and when local guests found out who were doing the food, we had a lot of comments saying "ooh, we have been looking at going there, can't wait to try the food" etc and part of me wanted to showcase the best of their offerings to try and help them out. And not being a vegetarian-specialist restaurant, I thought guests would be slightly disappointed seeing only vegetarian food on offer? I don't know if that point even makes sense, but to me, it was a better range of dishes having meat too??3. At the Wedding Tasting, there were meat dishes as well as vegetarian... luckily, we'd taken my FH's Best Man who eats meat. And although he enjoyed the vegetarian dishes with us, he said the meat starter was the best food he'd ever eaten and it would have been a shame not to offer that to people.
So, actually, we were very close to having veggie only, but it was simply trying to please everyone that swayed us otherwise. But I would definitely urge you to have veggie-only if that's what you feel is best for you! As you say, everyone can eat veggie, not everyone can eat meat and people are there to celebrate your special day and they're getting a lovely meal, meat or not

No that absolutely makes sense and exactly the same reasons that put me in doubt too! I know a few of the guests will think a meal without a slab of meat isn’t a meal, and a few people I have mentioned it too think it’s quite controversial 🙈


And I totally get the value for money side of it as well. The venue I’m looking at charge a set price for the food regardless of whether it’s veggie dishes or meat. My argument was vegetables are much cheaper then meat (.ie. veg soup and mushroom risotto is much cheaper than salmon and roast lamb!!) but they won’t discount the price despite cheaper ingredients.
I agree its so hard to keep everyone happy but I’m thinking personally I’d feel less guilty about a couple grumpy hard-core meat eating guests than the poor dead animal 😅 xx