Wedding date clash, should we change it?!

I wouldn't change it. You've booked that date for a reason.

Normally I'd say yes, change if you could. Not to another month but maybe another week, since you've not 'properly' booked anything and it's easy to change. (Assuming the date held no particular significance.)

BUT, if it's a bank holiday, that makes it a lot trickier. I'm assuming it's August bank holiday? Unfortunately that's always going to be a popular wedding date (as would the May bank holidays I suppose) for logistical reasons and so if it wasn't this clash, it would be someone else.

We had an issue with this. We wanted to get married in May 2013 and then OH brother's wife to be wanted the same month and was like well no one will come to both the same month so said she had booked her's for the first weekend (later found out was a lie and booked for april), so everyone would go to hers and not ours so we had to change, just made us feel really guilty for wanting it then. Wouldn't of changed if i had my way, if you don't want to don't! Not like it's her wedding that weekend or something.

I guess it depends how much you want her to be there/be bridesmaid. You can't ask her not to go to a friend's wedding that she has known about since before you even looked at venues. If you don't change it you're basically giving her the choice between potentially ruining a friendship or upsetting her family, so I would try to avoid that if you can. Obviously the month thing is ridiculous!

I would stick with your original date.

This.

Are you doing the Sat or the Sunday? If Sat I'd consider changing so that she can go to both weddings and it wouldn't make much difference for teachers in terms of helping prepare or travelling etc. If Sun I'd say stick with it. But only you 2 can decide.

Are you doing the Sat or the Sunday? If Sat I'd consider changing so that she can go to both weddings and it wouldn't make much difference for teachers in terms of helping prepare or travelling etc. If Sun I'd say stick with it. But only you 2 can decide.

Exactly this.

Stick with your date.

I would normally say don't change your plans for anyone else but I think it depends on a few things. I think it depends how genuine of a problem you think it is for her and also how much you want her to be at your wedding. I agree that asking you to change it to a different month is completely ridiculous, but also if it were my brother getting married, obviously I wouldn't miss it for the world, but would be really gutted if it turned out to be the same day as one of my best friends. It depends how close she is to the friend I guess, x

I wouldn't change the weekend, but maybe look into a different day if that's possible.

Any reason why?

With Bank Holidays, Sundays can be a really good day as people then have the Saturday to come down, Sunday is the wedding and they still have another day to recover and get back home (just like you'd have with a non-BH Saturday wedding).

Don't get this. We got married on a Bank Holiday Sunday and it was just like a Saturday, except cheaper (although that's not why we did it). The bar didn't close early or anything. We didn't struggle with suppliers being free.

I'm not sure what to advise as you seem to have asked for opinions when you know what you want to hear. Basically, you are expecting SIL to sack off her mate's wedding in favour of yours. That's reasonable. But she won't be happy about missing her friend's wedding. And are you prepared for a bit of fall-out? I'm nto saying she's right to moan, but she may well do so anyway!

Fair enough, it was just an opinion. I didn't realise it was the other end of the country.

Thanks for the feedback S... i was starting to wonder why you had bothered to ask if you felt so strongly. Let him think about the Sun...it's her problem if she has to get between the 2 and might have to leave her friends early. But at least you will have accomodated her to make sure she can physically attend both. I think that's fair. If you feel strongly about the Sat go for it as I dont think it's at all unreasonable, but I think sometimes it's best not to upset family, more to give yourselves less grief than any other reason.

Oops just seen the FTLOMB has basically put forward all my points already. My fault for skimming

It's a toughy. And always feels so annoying when you these unlucky things happen and you have to compromise somewhere! Best of luck

Did I miss something? Has she asked her friend to change the date of her wedding or is it just you expected to bend over backwards?

On the day, they are both equivalent. I will echo Saisi though and say that with a BH Sunday, you have a whole day beforehand to relax, meet and greet etc. I spent a lovely afternoon with various family and friends arriving, having a few drinks, going for a girlie dinner and so on. You might miss that if the day before was a Friday!

That's a horrible predicament and I'm sorry to say I don't have any ideas to solve it for you. I do hope you find a solution that suits you though.

I certainly wouldn't change month!!! and being a teacher, I completely understand the appeal of a bank holiday but it's never stopped me attending a weekend wedding - I've just had to work like a demon in the week running up to it to get all planning/assessment done first!

If I were you I'd find out more about the friend's wedding - how far down the line they are - and (just playing devil's advocate here) get a feel for how close to the friend/committed to that wedding she is...if she's asking you to move is there any possibility she'd go to the friend's wedding rather than yours? Especially if she's already a bridesmaid for that wedding...

But if the date is significant to you I'd definitely stick with it

I can only mirror what other have said just thought i would add, I have a very close friend, whose daughter (my goddaughter) is bridesmaid. She has a wedding the weekend before ours, then ours and then another the weekend after. She works on Saturdays as a vetenary nurse and has had to take holidays to accomodate three weddings in three weeks. People will come to more than one wedding in a month! Funnily enough 2 are family weddings and none of the family will be at our wedding so she thinks its a bonus that she only needs 2 dresses!!! LOL!

Go with your gut, it's YOUR day, we originally wanted a BH but it was fully booked so went for the weekend after. (1st June 2013) You may find you prefer a different venue and then they are booked that date so you would then maybe want to change the date anyway!!

x

I'm assuming your OH sis is bridesmaid or something at this friends wedding??? In which case I could see if she has already committed it would put her in a very difficult situation and I would consider changing your date. If your SILTB is just a guest at the wedding I would tell her to stop being so cheeky and book the date you originally wanted.

I'm just thinking what I would do in this situation and if I had already committed to be part of a friends bridal party and my sister then booked her wedding on that day I'm sorry to say I would be going to my friends wedding.

Hi Scully82 I would stick with your date. Like you have said there will always be something it will clash with. You have picked this date for a reason and I think its unfair to ask you to change it. She isnt BM for her friend and I wouldnt change the date for somebody you dont even know. I can understand her disappointment at missing a friends wedding but family comes first and she is your BM. This is your special day and you should have it on the day you want it xx

Maybe she just feels like she's already said yes to one, so now has to stand by that decision...? Or maybe she just thought she'd ask the question to avoid having to choose. It must feel frustrating to have two important dates clash. Just unlucky really!

If you can't change it, then you can't change it. If you explain that, then no reasonable person will be upset. I would personally stick to what I wanted, while trying to make all the right sympathetic noises to avoid any rifts. Sometimes it's all about the way things are done.

Very annoying for you, but there's plenty of time to go so don't let this become a huge issue. This should be a nice time and if it's possible to avoid setting off on a negative tack, go with that. Good luck!

I think this too and perhaps she won't be that bothered of you say no, just a bit disappointed.