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Beginner June 2024 Co Down

Wedding date dilemma

Danielle, 4 January, 2021 at 20:21 Posted on Planning 0 9
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Hey!


I really need advise and would love honest feedback -
My fiancé proposed on our 10year anniversary this year in the summer and we have since found a venue we both love! The venue confirmed that they have availability on our anniversary in 2022 which also falls on a Saturday, so a bonus! So here’s the dilemma....
Our wedding would take place on the Saturday, but the issue is that it is my fiancé’s dads 60th birthday on the Sunday and they have commented that it should be his weekend to celebrate his special birthday...!
They are not financially helping at all with our wedding as they say they can’t afford it but have hinted they want to have a big party for the 60th!
My parents and friends are very shocked and think they are being extremely selfish. We get along and never had a falling out so am I the one actually being selfish?
We have said it would be great to celebrate all together one big weekend and we would be around on the Sunday and if they did have a party say the following weekend we would hold booking any honeymoon to make sure we were there...This is their first child’s wedding as well as first family wedding on both sides so should be an exciting time!
So my question is do I back down and just pick a random date or push for how much we would love to get married on our anniversary & are there for the actual birthday etc..... any advice would be welcomed!!
Thank you XX

9 replies

Latest activity by PhotographybyBillHaddon, 6 January, 2021 at 11:15
  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
    Dedicated
    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    Its your day do whenever you like it. You will never please everyone and finding a Saturday even 2 years ahead can be hard. He still can celebrate his birthday.... just have a celebration weekend. He gets one day and you get one.... honestly a 60th birthday is not as big a deal as a wedding for most people. Its not even the same day just the same weekend. I think its selfish asking you to postpone for it especially as they haven't booked anything jet.
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  • D
    Beginner June 2024 Co Down
    Danielle ·
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    Thank you so much and completely agree just needed to hear it I think! Thank you x
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  • S
    Beginner July 2021 South West London
    Sunnygoldflowers93973 ·
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    I may be on the other side of the fence. (In case you’d like another perspective.)


    Our current date (depending on how things go) fell on my fiancé’s mum’s 60th. I get on extremely well with her and really want her to have a wonderful weekend about her, so pushed our date back a week. We have had our fair share of issues with people and their expectations, But decided this date should be hers as this year has been so horrible. It would also mean our big anniversaries would always fall on her big birthdays. 10yr /70th etc.
    However, I agree that the day is yours and planning for brides in a pandemic is a nightmare without having to consider every other person’s feelings.
    My bridesmaid got married on my bday. And to make me feel special she had everyone sing me happy birthday and toast a drink to me.
    The choice is truly yours and you should do what will matter to you most.
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  • D
    Beginner June 2024 Co Down
    Danielle ·
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    Thank you! I am going to get my fiancé to call his dad and speak to him direct and if any push back at all I think I will just change the date. My biggest fear is the lead up to the wedding having any resentment from them feeling we have stolen a day! X
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  • S
    Beginner July 2021 South West London
    Sunnygoldflowers93973 ·
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    Best of luck! After a year of pandemic wedding planning, I’ve learned to pick my battles based on what matters most. Hope you have the most positive outcome! X
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    Beginner June 2024 Co Down
    Danielle ·
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    Thank you so much for all
    Of your advice. We have decided to go with another date to keep the peace!
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  • S
    Beginner July 2021 South West London
    Sunnygoldflowers93973 ·
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    Happy you found a resolution! Here’s to having a wonderful wedding and marriage! X
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I'm sorry that your father-in-law-to-be's selfishness has spoiled your original plan, but glad you've been able to find an alternative date you are happy with. Best wishes for a very special wedding day.

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  • PhotographybyBillHaddon
    Super January 3000 Leicestershire
    PhotographybyBillHaddon ·
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    Glad that you sorted this. Just posting to say that I have shot many weddings where there is a birthday or anniversary of a guest. I always get to know because I am given the heads up of a surprise present or cake that the couple have planned so I am ready for the shot. It has always gone down well and usually adds to the whole celebration feel of the day.

    But I supposed they are only the ones I get to see and where everyone was happy with the idea.

    So what I am saying for others reading is that Its not unusual for a weddings to coincide with someone's birthday. But it has to be a personal choice, especially when family politics are involved..

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