Wedding dress doubts!!

I'm a similar size and shape to you, and whilst I love the idea of a mermaid dress, I have found in the past that it doesn't tend to suit my shape. Don't beat yourself up about not getting the style you originally imagined - it's meant to be very common that brides go into a shop with an idea, and leave with something entirely different!

The dress you've bought sounds beautiful - I do love Maggie Sottero!

It's quite a change around to have the feeling of it being 'the one' to feeling 'disgusted' by it. I definitely don't advise you to wear a dress that you feel uncomfortable in, and it's normal to have doubts, but to go from one extreme to quite another is quite severe. Has something happened to affect your confidence?

Are you able to try the dress on again, and have you had any alterations made to it yet?

I'd advise taking a friend whose opinion you absolutely trust, and try the dress on again. Putting it on again may make you remember exactly what you loved about it in the first place! And ask your friend for her honest opinion - just take one person so you don't get confused - too many cooks and all that jazz.

If you try it on again and still feel adamant that you can't see yourself in it, try having a chat with the bridal shop. If you've not had any alterations, they may allow you to swap it for another dress of the same price or more. Many don't but it's worth having a chat.

If they won't swap it, they may be able to recommend a good wedding dressmaker to do the alterations. If you decide to have it made over in the way you suggested, that sounds like quite a big job, so please make sure you get a seamstress with particular experience in wedding dresses. They will be able to give you an honest opinion on whether your vision is feasible. I'd also recommend trying on a dress in the style to how you envision it, to make sure that you like it before you make alterations that you can't go back from.

Finally, if you decide to go for another dress, maybe look out for another sample sale, or look out for shops with lower prices, like Wed2B.

Good luck! X

Completely agree with the advice given. That said, I had a part time job in a bridal department many years ago, and I only ever once saw a bride in a dress that didn't look wonderful. That is working every Sunday and Thursday late night opening for a year and a half. I hope you fall in love with the dress again.

I wonder if it would blow the budget to get a second dress for the evening, from a high street store like Debenhams, 'off the peg.' This is becoming more common, even royals do it, and having two dresses may stop you obsessing so much with the first one.

I also agree with the advice given, I had the same predicament! this is my 2nd marriage and with my first I wore the massive princess style, so was determined to get a fitted dress this time. I'm a size 14 and wanted to lose more weight but time was running out. In the end the fitted dresses just didn't suit my shape and I 'settled' for a dress that both my mum and the shop owner said was the best, it did make me feel good with a tiny waist. But there were 3 elements that I said I didn't want in a dress, big (it's not princess, but quite a big A-line), satin and sleeveless and this dress has all 3 ?

I was struggling in my mind that it wasn't what I wanted, Last weekend, I went back to the shop to try it on again with my shoes and accessories and I absolutely loved it and didn't want to take it off ❤️

I highly recommend going back to the shop to try it on with a clearer mind, if you still don't like it rethink your options

Good Luck x

If getting it altered to a shape you prefer is an affordable and feasible option then go for it,
however, before you do, I would go into some more bridal shops and try on dresses that are similar to what you are imagining, just so you don’t end up ruining a good dress by turning it into something you hate even more.

I actually had the same idea as you - I totally imagined myself in a mermaid-style dress, which I thought would suit me because of my curves, (I’m also size 12/14 and pear shaped) but when I tried a couple on they looked truly awful. Honestly, I couldn’t bear to even look at myself in the mirror, and the people who came with me agreed and were quite shocked, as they had also assumed it would suit me! So now I’m thinking maybe mermaid-style dresses just aren’t made for curvy figures. I think perhaps they really suit very slim women, because they accentuate their curves, whereas if you already have curves they make you look like an over-stuffed sausage! That may just be an unfortunate fact that we just have to accept… (although, maybe I am wrong, maybe you just need to try on some more…)

Also I would say that looking good doesn’t have to be about figure-fitting and showing flesh, and I’ve actually always associated ballgown-style dresses with a younger look, as they are more princessy. But obviously there’s no point me saying that, if you’re not feeling it you’re not feeling it, and the most important thing is that you feel good.

Don’t forget that if you do go for the option of buying a new dress you could always sell the old one online - if the shop won’t exchange or refund it - you’d get less than what you paid for it, but it would still help towards the new dress.

I will second (third?) trying it on again. I had a similar feeling as you when I bought my dress, I liked it in the shop (I'm not overly passionate about anything so liking is as far as I get) but a few weeks later looking back at the photos I went off it. However I went and tried it on again and got the same feeling of "this is a the one" so I've stuck with it, and now I've had the alterations done I am actually really excited to wear it!

I think unfortunately photos taken in bridal shops seem to make you and the dress look much worse than they actually do, so try not to pay too much attention to it. Try it on again, and pay attention to how you feel in it - that's what matters.

If you still aren't feeling it then I would definitely try on some in the styles you're thinking of doing before having the alterations done, like someone else said you don't want to make it worse!

I hope you find the spark again!

Honestly lovely, I think every bride has had that moment after purchasing their dress where they’ve thought “Oh my goodness... did I rush into the decision? Do I REALLY like it? What if it’s not the one? I know I had those feelings after leaving the store and spent all evening looking back at the photographs taken deciding if I truly liked it. It was only when my mum reminded me of how my face lit up when I put the dress on, how I wanted to try it on with a veil, tiara... the full works! I pranced around the bridal shop in borrowed heels 2 sizes too big not wanting to take it off because I felt a million dollars!

I’m sure you’ll have had a similar experience which made you commit to the dress in the first place. Like others have suggested, i’d go back and try it on again. Get a friend/bridesmaid to take new photos in better lighting. I’m sure you’ll fall back in love with your dress! :-)