Wedding dress shopping stress - rant warning

Wedding dress shopping isn't always the blissful experience it's often portrayed as. Some bridal boutiques are great, others not. In terms of what they stock, they generally stock what's in most demand and that's sadly strapless, but - what they should have done is shown you how a strapless dress can be very easily transformed with just a very minor addition of fabric. A good shop would do this. For sizings, again it's difficult for them to stock to fit everyone, but most dresses would take a 14 and give you a good idea of the end look so you can decide if it's the right style or dress for you.

I was a 14 when I tried my dress and the dress was an 8 and not a corset back, although I did try corset backed dresses too. I tried a range of different styles on and like you most in stock were strapless or came with optional cap sleeves, but they showed me so many ways of altering the look by simply adding cap sleeves from matching fabric etc. The seamstress who would do the alterations would do this for you. I was also totally anti strapless, but have ended up going for a dress with a detachable caplet so I can have it strapless as well as with my shoulders covered. I was very pleasantly surprised at how well it looked strapless. Having teo looks I love

Not sure when you're wedding is but if it's within 12 months and you want a specific gown then they can take a while and so you would need to get your skates on.

Try not to be disheartened - my first experience was awful too. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. Open your mind to styles. Remember your dress will be ordered to fit you so will look even more amazing than what you try in the shop, but look around for a style of shop that suits you and the style of dress you're looking for.

x

I think that strapless style is the most popular at the moment- you only have to look through dress flash threads to see how many brides opt for that look. Therefore a shop would be most likely to have those in a 14 as at that size is easy enough to make it smaller with sponges and clips and also bigger if it's a lace up back. Try not to take it to heart about the sizes and look at it like its a business choice for them to stock the most popular dress in the easiest to adjust size.

i agree that the choice for non stappless dresses are limited in main stream shops. Have you evidenced your search area? Where in the country are you and people may be able to suggest somewhere to go?

Oh dear Sorry you are feeling stressed. I haven't yet encountered the dress shopping yet, so I havent experienced this yet. All I can say is that try not to let it get to you. Think about what styles you like or didn't like. Try on one of each 'style' (such as mermaid, A line, Princess etc). and different necklines, even if the colour or detail is not for you. If you get the general idea of what shape feels comfortable on you, you can easily then go online and look for the style you like, but with the colour or detail you like. Check out their returns policy, you might be pleasantly surprised that you can still try but not have to commit. If you order your dress online, you can easily have it altered afterwards. I hope this helps, and chin up, I'm sure you can find your dream dress All the best hunni

I'm sorry you're having a rubbish time. Would it be worth ringing round the shops to see what sort of styles/sizes they have before you go? That way, you won't be disappointed when you turn up and they have only three that you are interested in.

Good luck x

This is exactly what i found, everything i wanted to try on was in size 8, or similar too small for me size. when i asked about larger sizes all they would do is hold it against me and say you have to order in the larger sizes but after you have picked the style and paid half. In the end i got mine from a bridal sale, im a size 14 - 16 and they had quite a few larger sizes, mine was an 18.

Are there any bridal outlets near you xx

I was told they could add shoulder/off-shoulder straps to almost any strapless dress. Its easier if you're shorter as they just take fabric from where they shorten the dress for you. So its probably worth taking a look at the strapless dresses again, but asking about adding straps and a bit of imagination, or looking at boleros.

Good luck

I know what you mean and I am much bigger than you. I am a size 22 and as you can imagine had a stressful time finding a dress, that said I did find a lovely bridal shop which caters for those who are bigger than a bloody size 10!

It would have been a much more pleasant experience if all shops had a variety of sizes. In the first shop I went into I got told to come back when I'd lost weight! My personal feeling is that my OH loves me as I am so they can take me as I am!

Try not to get to stressed, there will be a dress out there for you. Adding straps etc. can make a big difference to a dress. The shop wouldn't be able to order you a size 14 to try on because all the dresses are size 8/10, because these are the dresses they use for their catwalk shows. I know it can be very disheartening, but take a deep breath and try again. Most dresses take 7/8mth to come in, when is your wedding?

Thanks everyone. I did try dresses that were different to what I had in mind and also some strapless ones just to make sure (I was right - they looked horrible on me). By the third shop I had a much better idea of what suited me and what I wanted but all the ones in that style were size 8.

I understand why they are like this but there must be a better way. For example, having an initial consultation where you narrow down the style and then paying £50 or so for a range of dresses to be brought in another day for you to try. I dunno. It just seems needlessly difficult.

A bridal outlet sounds like a good idea. I live in St Albans, every other weekend in Leeds and work in London so a wide range of areas I can get to.

Ouch.

I went wedding dress shopping 2-3 months after giving birth to my daughter. I went from a comfy, tall 14 to a flabby out of condition 16`-18. Taking my clothes off was stressful enough, never mind my huge baby bearing ass not fitting into the dresses I loved, despite up to 2 assistants pushing and pulling (on one occasion there was audible tearing). Another store told me I would look "OK" after I lost 2 Stone.

I have had many, many dress wobbles as the dress I chose was one of the first nice dress to fit me and do up (albeit with a huge gap in the corset). You can see it in the dress flash thread running at the moment. I had already tried 2 other stores and countless tiny dresses.

Although I love my dress now, I am on a hellish diet to try and get it to look how I envisioned it would before all the pressure of bridal shops piled on. PLEASE don't do what I did and make sure you stay strong. You WILL find a dress that suits you. I agree with OP, ring around to find a dress shop that caters for all sizes and in an ideal, a 14+ shop assistant for moral support!!!!!!!!

This is what I was dreading too but I have to admit the shop I went into stocked mostly bigger sizes, the sample of the one I bought was the only dress I tried on that was too small so thy were able to let me see how it would look in a similar style of dress. I would phone around places before booking appts as there's nothing worse than being made to feel like this

Bellissima in south woodham ferrers and birds bridal on chelmsford....are either doable for you? Both had plenty of non strapless dresses that would fit you. Most of their samples are a US 12 or bigger. I also asked about paying to try on other styles but was told all the samples they loan out are a uk 8.

Have you tried bridal outlets? I'm a size 12-14, got a large rib cage and strapless looks awful on me. I've been going to outlets and they have so much more choice in both design and sizes. Was able try on loads of different dresses. I'm now torn between 2 both by Sincerity, 3770 and 3750.

Hope this helps.

Thats a funny thing to say, cant someone smaller than a 14 help ladies try on dresses? *confused*

I was actually very lucky with my wedding dress shopping experience. I'm a size 14/16 and didn't get any negative comments about my size, plus the assistants that I had, squeezed me into dresses of all sizes, some of which had a zip fastening too. I think it comes down to where you shop - a bit of trial and error - not all bridal shops are the same and the ones that I went to (which was quite a lot to be fair!) were all lovely. It is definitely limiting and you don't get a perfect idea of how the dress will look when it fits right, but the majority of the dresses that I tried on gave me a good idea, even the ones that were 3 sizes too small. Good luck with your next shop!