Wedding favours? Yes or No

We are doing favours but only because we came up with an idea that means a lot to us both. However I don't think it's a necessity and particularly as you have sweets, I think those are the favours really.

I think your sweets can be your favours too.

We're not having favours - an extra expense I don't feel is necessary. We're feeding and watering our guests, that's enough ?

I'm not sure I agree with charity favours personally. I get the idea, but what if people don't agree with or suport the charity chosen? they may not like money being donated in their name, even if it is meaningful for the couple.

I think with everything you've got already, cake and sweets can be the favours

I didn't want favours either but the OH wants them. I didn't want to spend too much and I didn't want to waste money on things that people wouldn't want, therefore my bridesmaid is going to make chocolate brownies with edible gold dust on them (colour theme is pink and gold). I am going to put them into a cellophane bag and I have pretty pink and gold tags to write on "thank you for sharing our special day". If any get left behind, we can eat them the next day ha! Thus way I only have to pay for the ingredients, bags and tags x

They're not necessary, I don't even think they're traditional - you're supplying enough, so unless there is something you particularly want to give as a favour, don't bother.

We did personalised M&Ms as favours, but only cos I was ordered a bag for the Pick n Mix table and it wasn't more much to order a second bag (I had a 30% off coupon) so we thought we could use them as favours, and people would be more likely to notice they were special M&Ms than when they're shovelling in their mouths later on.

Thank you all, that has put me at piece of mind.

I do like the chocolate with the place cards though. Might of used that if I hadn't already got my place cards.

I'm not doing any, as others have said above. It is an unnecessary cost which usually goes unwanted and we feel that we are doing enough by feeding and watering/alcoholing our guests,

It's a no from me! I didn't have them. You'd be surprised how many brides choose to do without them - and not always for cost reasons. Some of them just want less clutter on the tables.

Guests never notice they are missing.

I agree, lot of my friends support charities that go against everything I believe in and that fine in life its non of my business what they do in their lives but no one has any right to use my name without concent in their agendas

if its a favor or a gift it should go to the guests charity choice not the couples, if it goes to the couples charity it has nothing to do with the guest at all and isnt a favor

I also agree with something I read on another site, that really charity donation idea is bizzare because its basically the couple bragging about giving money to their chosen charity which in no other part of like if acceptable socail behavior... its complete fine to donate to charity but its normally a private thing not a 'look we gave money' thing so to make a point/effort to tell everyone at the wedding you gave to charity seems wierd

If you really want favours then go for it...at my wedding we made little homemade pots of chutney! (Vintage country theme!!)

But if you are still deciding and budget is a factor....

We often get into a room straight after the wedding breakfast for the room turnaround and see lots of favours left on the tables. (Even at my wedding too!)

I am only having them because my brother had 55 brand new favour boxes left over from his wedding and and there are 50 people invited to ours so I am snaffling them off him but with what you have and how much you are spending per head on a meal for your guests its totally up to you but I wouldnt as you have alreayd gone above and beyond.

Really there no charity that go against your believes so you both pro and against fox hunting, the army, abortion, political policies, sex trade, immagration etc... it is IMPOSSIBLE to support all charities/causes because there is 2 sides to everything and even if someone support the concept of a charity they dont have to support the charity due to how its run...

example: Im 100% for rescuing animals but I wont support the RSPCA (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2254729/RSPCA-destroys-HALF-animals-rescues--thousands-completely-healthy.html) because they put down shocking numbers of animals, why would I support them or their killing when their are dozens of underfunded local struggling charities that dont kill the animals they take in - people might say 'but how are you against animal rescue' im not Im against one specific elite and finacially controlled company

If you support this then you have every right in the world to give your money to any charity you support and that is no one elses business however claiming its a favor for a guest or bragging about it is bizzare... you dont have to have favors (although I think they are a nice thing to do) but just make you donation in YOUR name and leave it at that, why tell everyone and pretend its some how got something to do with them even though they had no part in it?

I also didnt just make these views up they are quite common this is a direct piece taken from the knot - thinking of using a donation in lieu of favors read this first:

If you're considering this option for your reception, the two posts below encompass two rather different points of view on the topic, and will provide you with fabulous advice on this controversial topic.

The only thing I will say personally on the subject is that, if you do choose to make a charitable donation and advertise it at your wedding, give serious consideration to the organization you choose. For example, weddings are not, in my opinion, the place to advertise political or religious donations that could spark unpleasant conversations during your reception.

From trix1223:
Make your donation. I believe in donations. I make them myself. I think they're a good thing to do.

But don't pretend that they're a favor to your guests. Because they're not. They're a favor to the organization, and to you. You're taking the money you'd spend on a little something for your guests and giving it to someone else. How do you figure that's a favor for your guests?

Honestly, I don't need a favor. I don't really want a favor. You're already giving me food, drinks, entertainment. I don't need a matchbook or m&ms (although I LOVE m&ms) as a thank you.

But please don't in any, way, shape or form think that giving $$ to a charity is somehow doing something for me.

I'd liken it to a guest coming to your wedding and giving you a card that says "In honor of your marriage, I have given a donation to the "eastern micronesia tsunami prevention fund". It may be important to your guest, but it probably doesn't mean anything to you. So it's not really a gift for you, is it?

From StageManager14:
Okay, I'm gonna go against the grain here (again). We did a donation IN LIEU of favors (meaning instead of, because the ladies are right, donating to a cause YOU support is not a favor to anyone else.)

I don't think there's anything wrong with doing donations as long as you follow a few guidelines.

1) make it a charity that is important to you and that you have some sort of connection to outside of the wedding. Just making a random donation because it's your wedding day definitely reinforces the "this is about looking good" vibe.

2) Don't do cards for every table or every place setting or whatever. If you want to announce it, do one discreet sign that is in a high traffic area (like cake table or guest book table) and be done with it. Plastering announcements all over your reception is very "look at how awesome we are" and also makes your wedding look like a fundraiser.

3) Do not put anything about the donation being "in honor of" your guests or in their name. First of all, it gives the impression that you have now publicly linked your guest's name to a charity that they had no say it, which is rude at best and can be REALLY bad if it's a charity they oppose. And secondly, it's a lie. The charity does not need or ask for a list of your guests' names.

4) Don't do a favor on TOP of the donation that is themed to it, even if given out by the charity. Wristbands, announcement cards, etc all cost the charity money to produce. So by accepting them, less of your money is actually going to that charity. If the charity is really that important to you, then spend the money for the DIY cards or hershey's kisses with tags or whatever on said charity as well.

ETA: Also, don't mention it in relation to favors. Just say "Bride and Groom have made a donation to blah blah blah. They would like to thank you for coming and sharing their special day." or something to that effect.

5) Realize that this is a controversial topic in the real world too, not just on the knot. So, there's a good chance that at least 1 person who attends your wedding will secretly sideye your choice to do this. If you can live with that, then go for it. But do not convince yourself that the ladies on here who oppose are just bitter evil hags and YOUR friends and family are all better than them and would never see it as a bad thing. That's naive and incorrect.

Sorry, but whatever your thoughts one way or the other, these are valid points being made, and ones to consider, so making it personal in this way is a bit uncalled for.

@Aspenlady, I think the comment in your last post was rather uncalled for. Just because you are heavily involved in charity work or whatever doesn't mean that Sorbet doesn't make some good points. You lose the moral high ground with nasty personal comments like that.

Not everyone feels the same way about charities in general, and some people have very strong views against certain charities for religious or other reasons. I used to work in grant funding, and Sorbet is quite right that there is a charity for every point of view, including some which would generally be considered rather distasteful. So by choosing a charity and implying you've done it on behalf of your guests, there is a risk that you could offend you guests or start some conversations which are probably too heavy for a celebratory occasion like a wedding.

I can give an example of charity donations going wrong from my previous wedding. My uncle died from a brain tumour before my first wedding. At his funeral, my aunt requested donations to a particular charity instead of flowers. So, for our wedding, we thought we'd request donations to the charity instead of gifts. BUT we made the mistake of not discussing it with her first. We thought she'd open the invitation and think what a nice thought it was. It turned out she felt very uncomfortable about it, that people would be asking about why we chose that charity and open discussions that she didn't want to talk about etc. So, she declined our invitation and refused to attend the wedding. It set off a load of conversations between her and other relatives which eventually led to her cutting herself off from the rest of the family. If we'd done it for favours instead of in the invitations, I hate to think how awkward and upsetting the day would have been for all concerned.

That's such a shame ☹️, but just shows that even if you think someone would be happy with something, you never know.

My dad, both his parents and my ex mother in law all died from cancer,, so someone might think I would be ok with making a donation on my behalf to Cancer Research, say. But as a vegan who knows they test on animals, I wouldn't be happy with being connected to them in any way.

Wow, interesting points of view everyone. I've never been to a wedding where favours were charity donations, but then I wouldn't mind if they were. I don't feel strongly about too much and I'm there on the day to share the wedding happiness, not get into some sort of political drama.

Do what you and your OH want, Aspenlady. In the grand scheme of things, favours are a miniscule part.

In line with your original post, we weren't going to have favours at all but we got so much Lindt chocolate balls for Christmas, we're giving them away in cheap organza bags. Not original, not particularly interesting but it meant I didn't put on a load of weight

Peace and love, y'all x

[Edited] - completely bummed that one up and got confused. October2016Wedding, yes, I think you've got enough there for some happy guests. Favours would be overkill, in my opinion.

Apologies, Aspenlady, I thought you were the original poster. Like your idea of chocolate placenames, but as I said ^ do what you and your partner want.

I went to a wedding where we were given cancer research pins as they had donated their instead of favours. Personally I don't support Cancer Research charity due to animal testing but hey it's up to them and I really don't think it should be taken so seriously!!

its your wedding and you should do what you want. You're not asking people to give their own money so I don't think they have much right to complain!

we're giving Lindt gold bunnies cos it's Easter and it was the first present we gave to each other as we got together before Easter and coincidentally bought each other a gold bunny as a little gift.

Yay for Lindt ❤️

I agree that I think they're a waste. I saw on another forum that her at her BM wedding only 10 people remembered to take their favours home and she was left with over 100 left over! Such a waste..

If I was going to do them I think I'd definitely make them edible. Like someone else said, even if they're not eaten then they aren't exactly going to waste are they!

Some of the points made on here are just bizarre. Not everyone supports every charity, ok...that's like saying don't give M&Ms as favours because not everyone likes them. I would never, ever cast judgement on a couple who donated money to a charity that means something to them and I find it weird anyone would.

We are having charity favour badges for two charities that are important to us, we're not asking our guests to feel the need support them, sign up to them, donate their own money, they are simply something we have decided to include.

Whether you have favours or not, people will always find fault so if you want them do it, if not don't worry.

I don't think we were planning to have favours (I don't think H2B even knows what favours are) but with the package we've got with our venue had them included. Just going to be an organza bag with either mini eggs, love hearts or something else but it's something small and cute.

I've always thought favours were a bit of a waste on money tbh. But, I have since come up with the idea of having personalised beer mats for our evening do. On one side will be a winking frog (pub where we met up on our first date) and the other side the name of the Rock club we went to on part 2 of date. So not really a favour as such, more of a table dec as the tables are huge.

Haven't costed this yet so may but happen! I will say though that the weddings I've been to the favours were left on the tables mostly. The only time I brought mine home was at my best friends wedding where I was bridesmaid. But I guess personal choice and budget dependent :-)