Wedding fayres only welcoming brides?

I have to wonder about this too! To be honest, most fayres we've been to (and we've been to a lot of the smaller ones, as well as the big ones), OH is one of very few men there - mostly it's brides and their wedding party.

For me personally, it has been really really important that it is OUR big day, not just mine, and I've invited my OH to be as involved as he wants to be, which is a lot! It upsets me how the wedding industry appears to be largely designed for brides planning the wedding alone. Yes, I've ended up doing a lot of the 'running around' (eg. I've found and narrowed down a huge list of photographers and venues, then we've looked at them all together!)

Will be interested to see how everyone else comments!

I think they are as it is normally the bride who does most of the planning. Although, I think it's rude of them to offer you a drink and not your OH.

I haven't even bothered asking my OH to come to fairs with me as I know that it would be his idea of hell. I am more than happy to go with my bridesmaids. The thought of him tagging along after me all day would be no fun for either of us! I have seen a few grooms at wedding fairs and I always wonder whether they are there willingly there or not ? X

Hi, yes we have definitely experienced this! Me and my OH have organised our wedding completely together and he gets super excited about it all like I do. Whenever we have met with people at wedding fayres and our suppliers etc, they ALWAYS direct the conversation at me and look at me the whole time. It really infuriates my OH. When he went suit shopping, a guy at Moss Bros said to him 'it doesn't matter what you choose today, you'll have to go and check it with your fiancé because let's face it, she makes all the decisions'! No actually! Decisions are 50/50 and the suit is all him just like the dress is all me. He swiftly left that shop. I think our suppliers have been surprised by his involvement and half the time he has been the one liasing with them, not me at all!

I haven't been to any wedding fares but my OH is definitely an equal partner in the planning process. If anything he's done more of the calling/chasing people as his job is more flexible and allows him to make calls during the day. I've done most of the crafty little details though.

So what do they do when two gay men planning a wedding show up? Crikes alive this is insane. My hubs was always greeted equally in our 2013 fayre visits- things really do change quickly!!!

The goody bags are pretty girly, I agree. Wasn't impressed with the general one at the National Wedding Show but the VIP one was good. Packed with girly beauty stuff.

OH comes with me to every show - the suppliers have been great though and spoken to both of us. We have only been to three shows though in fairness! One of which was at our venue!

Went to one where a woman on a wedding cake stand talking to two guys REALLY put her foot in in it when she started asking "And of course your fiance will want some input, where is she? (looking over one of the guys' shoulders) for a woman.. He just says "Right here!", grabbed his fiances hand and they walked off, leaving her with her mouth wide open!! Even me and my sister going to the fairs together have been mistaken a few times for partners!!

I've been to one fair with H2B & he was so hungover from a wedding we'd been to the previous evening that I wouldn't have spoken to him either!

With each supplier we spoke to they were pretty fair at addressing us both equally to be fair - the goodie bag only contained a magazine though which I was quite disappointed by - no champagne either!

I don't do many weddings fayres, maybe 1-2 a year. I find that a lot of couples come together. From a suppliers point of view I prefer to see both partners.

Maybe it's a "front desk" thing that the people welcoming you make more of the brides?

Although that was the case at wedding fayres where my OH was ignored (including by the kilt hire suppliers, bizzarely!) - we haven't found that in other ways - the suppliers have met with just my fiance with no issues and when he came with me to a wedding dress sample sale and was the only man in the shop, he was made very welcome and it was not a problem (this was the one time where I was worried it would be an issue). We're equally involved in the wedding planning and I don't think we would be happy going with a supplier/venue that didn't take his input seriously.

Thankyou for all of your replies. Definitely just a 'front desk' thing, I have found all suppliers spoke to both of us apart from the cake stands where I take over as he doesn't like cake so that is my choice!

The only other problem I encountered was with a transport company, the guy said 'you and your dad...' so I said 'oh, it will be my brother' and he looked a bit, well, put out and said 'well, whoever' Sorry my dad died love! :/ Then he was telling us the exact places they would stop for photos etc so I just said 'obviously this is all our choice where possible' and left OH to it.

We are splitting all the planning, he wants input into everthing (even more so after his last fiance didn't even let him choose the venue with her!).

Hit send too soon then.

At first I was really frustrated as I couldn't add anything to Pinterest without him saying 'oh, you didn't show me!' lol but hearing from other brides I am glad he is taking an interest.

Any supplier who has done more than a handful weddings should of come across this before and it should not sound like anything out of the "ordinary" same as groom/groom or bride/bride

To get around this faux pa I just say "when you arrive with whoever is giving you away" -- even though the "giving away" bit can sometimes be contentious.

The reality is that it is mostly the bride who does most of the work -- notice that I say "mostly" as there are exceptions.

Look at this forum - how many grooms are there ? The 2017 weddings thread has 115 brides and 1 groom.

Many times whilst shooting the the speeches the groom will say something like "I don't know how this day has came about, it must of just happened all by itself because I did not do anything"

Sometimes at a wedding fayre I will be approached by (what looks like) 2 mums 1 granny 4 bridesmaids 1 bride and a flower girl, so with the exception of the flower girl I haven't got a clue which one is the bride, experiance tells me it could be any one of them. Sometimes there is one who is asking all the questions and they turn out not to be the bride so I can see perhaps where the idea of the bride badge has come from - even though a bit naff.

Loads of times at fayre a groom will come to me and say that he has been told to go away for a few minutes while the bride is looking at dresses and sometimes the flowers too. This happens at a few fayers and the next one he just says "its best that you go with your brides maids and mum and you will have a much nicer time without me hanging around"

So I would say that the majority of weddings are planned mostly by the bride with very little input from the groom - on the whole - generally speaking and all the other caveat's that I cant think of right now ! But what I am confident of saying is that think that weddings are all the better for it being that way.

Yes I thought that, the question wasn't the problem, I have had people assume my dad would give me away before but it was his response. On the whole, I find all suppliers we have met and talked to really helpful and open to anything we have asked

The last paragraph I have quoted, how so? In what way are they better being planned mainly by the bride? My oh has suggested loads of things, little details and ways of incorporating our story into the wedding, things I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. He obviously won't see my dress or have any inkling of the style I am going for, in the same way his suit will be his choice entirely but everything else will be joint (except cake, he doesn't eat cake )

I have to say, our wedding has been planned almost entirely by me. OH wants to be married but isn't really interested in the details unless it concerns food, drinks or the honeymoon! I've tried to find things he'll like and involve him as much as possible but he hasn't been involved with contacting suppliers or doing any of the organising. There was no way I would have got him to a wedding fayre so I was one of the brides there with my mum and bridesmaids!

See, I think that is great and truth be told, some stuff I wish I could just plan and not run past him lol I actually hate speaking on the phone so he is better at taking care of that side of things. I do like hearing how others are doing things.

But my bugbear was that when we both arrived at the wedding fayres they only greeted me, offered me a drink and gave me a goodie bag. Surely if the groom does attend, he should get something, they didn't even want him to put his details on the signing in book. It just seemed odd.

Oh I agree with you there, that's just rude!

Ive had a lot of fun with this one myself ?

The first one I went to was with my mum and dad as my mum really wanted to go to one and thought it would be a good excuse as I am now getting married. Everyone thought that my parents were getting married, half of them asked where the bride was and only one person totally rocked the gay marraige thing so we snapped her up there and there and it hasnt been a bad choice so far as she has been on the ball.

One where we went together for a general mosey around for table dec ideas, a few asked where the bride was (they must have though it was groom and best man) A woman at a dress stand handed us a flyer and said can you give that to your bride when you see her and tell her where we are. I then handed the flyer to my OH and said, please anything but satin or toilet roll holder style. You should have seen her face.

I agree that everything is very geared towards women only and sometimes downright rude as they werent intetrested in us when they realised there was no female around as we dont want or need all the little extras