Wedding gift list

Gift lists are an aweful american gift grabbing tradition but even if they are breaking into our culture they do NOT go on invites - thats a massive ettiquette faux pas

standard ettiquette states people should ASK about gift lists if the CHOOSE to give a gift not be outright told and they should only be give to those who have RSVP'd yes

if you really 'must' have one they go on the wedding website or are spread by word of mouth by family and friends

That's fine thanks, however everyone who's been invited have asked for something that they can use as a guideline for what we need rather than what we want. Also we are making it quite clear that we DO NOT want gifts however if they do feel like they have to this is what we need.

I've not heard about marriagegiftlist, from the looks of it it seems to be like a regular website with links so looks like it'd be legit? I presume that they have ad deals and that's how they make their money.

Personally I'm using Prezola, it can be free, but you are restricted to stuff they have listed already. Or for £39 you can add what you want and also add cash gifts (but name them ie list 'Dinner for two £50' but then the money behind the scenes goes into one big pot. So people feel like they're buying you something but in reality you get the pot of money and you can use it how you like.

They also send you free cards to add to your invites (you just add your list number).

Old fashioned etiquette says it shouldn't go in the invite, but old fashioned ettiqute also says that the brides family should pay for it all! People can still choose not to send a gift, but for those who want to, I think it's more convenient to have a list in the invite (also helps stop the two toasters and three sets of china problem!)

I think that's where my family were thinking, because we've had numerous of people asking what we need and if there's a list or anything. So are you putting yours in the invites?

thanks for the advise

Personally I am putting the information of our gift list in all the invites. My brother did this when he got married and I assumed it the norm?

Edit: we are putting things on for a variety of prices. Probably include one or two more expensive things, but everything else less that £30.

Yeah mine are going in the invites (and will be on our website too so people can follow the link).

Really all we want is money (as we have out own house and most of what we need) but we've had several people say they want to get us an actual *thing*. Over Christmas we plan to pick out some things, like we do need a set of china, and could do with one of those big sets of cutlery.

I think as long as you have enough options over various price ranges, like we're going to have 'Sail-away cocktails' (our honeymoon is on a cruise) as an option for £10 and stuff like that. One wedding I was invited to, the gift list was really small and only a few low priced items, by the time I looked at it they only had £100+ gifts left, which as a student was more than I could afford!

Also I think no matter how varied the list you'll still get someone going off list and giving you something else!

Thank you, we have been looking at different things and we understand money can be a problem for people which is why we aren't wanting people to spend to much.

thank you for the advise, it's really helped us.

We're doing John Lewis as there is a good range of things for different prices. I just want to have a few nice things, picture frames and the like that I can look back on in the future and say to children or whoever... your great auntie such and such bought us that for our wedding xx

We put gift list information on the information sheet which we sent out with the invitations. We've gone for Honeyfund - we already have everything we need at home, but we have a number of relatives etc who want to give us gifts but don't want to just give cash. This way, they can give us an experience instead. Everyone knows how much we love travelling and doing things together, so it hasn't come as a surprise to anyone.

I think people are much more flexible about the etiquette now. I put gift list in with the invitations when I had my first wedding back in the early 2000s, and no-one took offence then.

Our gift list info is going in with the invites - we've already been asked countless times by friends what we're doing about it, & I'm pretty sure we know everyone on the invite list well enough to know that no one will take offence.

I think the idea of it causing offence is outdated these days TBH - I'd feel more awkward having to approach the couple to ask I think! Time moves on.

We've used HoneyFund & included the info on our invites in the extra info bit! All weddings we've been to have included info about gift lists so didn't seem inappropriate - as others have said, guests are likely to ask anyway. That said we haven't included it on our evening invites.

I completed our invites. In the end I just put "please don't feel obliged to buy us anything, but if you do want to these are the things we need"

and then the website address with the log on details.

i mean if everyone keeps coming to me and asking what I need I'll forget what I said and end up gettting duplicates.

xx

I think that's a good way of doing it. We're not putting in on the invites but only because our invites are quite small and there isn't room. We're doing our list in the New Year and my parents will pass the word around to anyone who needs guidance.

I've never heard of it being a "massive etiquette faux pas" to have it on your invites. That's nonsense. It's worse to say nothing and let people fumble in the dark!! Then you risk people wasting money on something you don't need or want.

You've done it right - don't worry too much about it. You've told people where to look and they will sort themselves out.