Wedding gift - money

We're exactly the same. We've got an insert in out invitations that says about accommodation and our wedding website and we've put a little note there just to say that we're happy they're going to be sharing our day but, if they feel that they would still like to give a gift then they could give a small contribution to our honeymoon. We've been living together a while, most people have said to us actually shall we give you some money towards your honeymoon or something. Think it's much more done asking for a contribution instead. We're certainly not expecting anything but people will only do something really random otherwise lol

We did not mention gifts in our invitations. For those that have asked us directly, we have pointed them in the direction of our honeymoon gift list very politely. We nearly mentioned it in the invitations but I could not think of a way of wording it which I felt comfortable with. I am quite conservative with stuff like that and would rather tell someone once they've asked, and if they don't, assume they are happy to decide if they get us a gift and what it should be if they do. I also went by the fact all of our guests know us very well, so it is probably quite obvious honeymoon donations would be a great idea. Our parents also know that if anyone mentions gifts to them for us, they will politely advise money for the honeymoon would be really appreciated. Like you we have our own home and ideally money or honeymoon contributions would help us so much. It is such a personal thing though so just do what's right for you. It's a topic that has very dividing opinions so do what suits you best as a couple.

You can find nice poems online asking for money which you can add to your invitations.

I think if you would like money then you should make it very clear on your invitations. Asking for donations towards the honeymoon is pretty much the done thing now I think.

When I was brieesmaid for one of my friends, they didn't ask for anything so I got them a personalised present for their house. My other friend who I was bridesmaid for asked for money so I gave her money!

If you don't ask for money, a lot of people may give you random things like wedding themed cups, glasses, photo frames etc! X

I find the money poems tacky.

Gifts shouldn't be mentioned on the invite or with the invite or anywhere near the invite.

If you don't ask for money, most guests will give you cash. We didn't mention gifts, and we got cash, gift cards and a Vera Wang casserole dish.

You will find a variety of opinions about this. Some ppl on hitched think it's rude to ask for money. We did a honeymoon gift list (you can find them online). You can detail specific trips or dinners ppl can contribute to.

you know your friends and family best. If you don't think they will be offended go for it.

Our friends both had their homes to condense into one after the wedding. Their invites specifically said something to the effect they had two homes full of things and didn't need anything else. That our company was enough however if we felt we wanted to give a gift then cash towards one big item would be lovely. Everyone gave cash.

we also have a home and as many ornaments pots and pans as we can handle. As we are eloping and people will be told beforehand that we are marrying but sorry they are not invited etc I have specified on the website I've done ready that as we have everything we need gifts are not necessary. Under the circumstances I don't expect any however the few people who know have already said oh we will give you money instead for something you find you need.

so I think if you politely say you already have everything and please don't buy us a gift it's likely people will just give money anyway.

I do like the honeymoon gift ideas where they pay for or towards a specific thing. Then you can thank them for that thing with a thank you card wi a photo in of you enjoying it.

Just to echo what a couple of people have already said- you can get some nice poem cards online. Traditionally the bride and groom didn't live together before the wedding so the wedding gift list was always towels, food processors etc! Nowadays the bride/groom nearly always have all their household stuff and don't need anything else.

Asking for money is more and more common and I really don't think that people would be offended. I don't think it's rude, surely people want to get you something you can enjoy rather than a gravy boat that you'll never use?? Personally I'm always thrilled when people ask for money or gift vouchers because I'm useless at buying presents and find it more stressful worrying about what to get them!

You know your family and friends best. If you think that they'll be okay with it then politely ask for money. Usually people say "we just want you to be there to celebrate with us, however if you do want to give us a gift then a bit of money to contribute to our honeymoon would be lovely."

xx

We've done a small gift list for satisfy those who have issues with giving money as a gift, but we expect others to give us money - or that's what I'm getting from people who have brought the subject up with us. We've lived together 4 years but when we bought our house most of our stuff was either super cheap or at least second hand, so the things on the list are mostly things which we'd like to update.

I have no issue with asking for money but I think those poems are God-awful - they have been overused. If you want money for your honeymoon, have you thought about something like Honeyfund? Then guests are buying you a gift of sorts, as they're paying for or towards a particular experience on your honeymoon (or they feel like they are).

We used the word 'contribution' as opposed to cash. I know some people say it's rude to ask for a gift or for money but we too have had so many people asking what we want and so rather get lots of things we don't need we have said that if they do really want to give us something then a small gift towards our honeymoon would be gratefully received and then whilst on honeymoon we shall have a toast to them as a thank you

Personally I am not a fan of the poems either, it was just an idea for you to use should you so wish.

I think we will book our honeymoon through Trailfinders who give you a gift list and guests can log in and donate to your honeymoon fund. The last wedding we went to had this and I really liked the idea. Trailfinders then pay the money to you a week after the wedding (as obviously you have to pay the full balance 12 weeks beforehand)

I don't think that it is rude to ask for money as it is done do often nowadays. x

We included the following on our additional info sheet... so you would only see it if you were looking for it.

Gifts – The most important gift to us is that you are there to share our day. But if you are thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of money towards our dream home would really make our day.

I like that one NoMoore.

We haven't figured out how we're going to do it, but we plan to ask for money - either worded as a contribution to our honeymoon and future life together, or just to our future life together. We really don't need any more stuff, so asking for gift vouchers wouldn't really work.

It's always going to be a touchy subject, and it really depends on what you feel comfortable with and what you think your guests will feel comfortable with.

I went for a phrase I found in google. As others have said above if people feel they would like to get us something I'd rather have money so we can afford all the fab stuff on honeymoon, rather than have a load of 'stuff' that we don't need.

Your presence at their wedding is gift enough,

but if you do wish to buy something,

a contribution towards their dream honeymoon

would be appreciated

I personally think it's impolite to "ask" for any type of gift. I don't think you need to mention anything at all. Most people are aware you bring a gift or a card to a wedding. If the couple doesn't list a registry guests usually get the hint that you want cash. Plus I assume most of your guests know you and your situation so would know you've already been living together and don't need household furnishings. Just put out a card box at the wedding and leave it at that. If someone does give you a gift you don't need you can always return it.