Wedding Gifts - Asking for Dollars for Honeymoon

Hi,

You could use Buy our Honeymoon, where your guests can buy you parts of your honeymoon online. So you could ask for two tickets to the Empire State Building (£30), a helicopter ride (£250), dinner at Delmonico's (£60) etc. You can choose how guests pay for the gifts. So you could ask them to to pay by credit card into your PayPal account, they can bring you cash on the day of your wedding, or send you a check. You can also leave instructions on how to make a bank transfer into your own account.

I hope that helps!

We are asking for spending money too. We've just said that we have everything we could need for the house, and so would appreciate if guests want to get us a gift, that they give us money towards the honeymoon. We haven't done a list or travel agents website as they cost money. Instead, we'll just have a card box at the venue.

Just my opinion, but I would never give money as a wedding gift, regardless of currency. I've always thought of it as poor manners and a liitle bit vulgar (maybe just my upbringing) and even if money is requested I would give a physical gift.

All the weddings I've been invited to have requested money if ppl wish to give a gift and we'll be doing the same! Saying 'give us some cash' is a little vulgar but if you say it nicely like 'the pleasure of your company at our wedding is enough for us however if you wish to give us a gift a contribution towards our fantastic trip to New York would be greatly appreciated! Or something along those lines! I personally think that because so many couples now don't need gifts and nick nacks that a lot of them ask for honeymoon contributions therefore it isn't frowned upon and if a guest doesn't like that you've 'asked/mentioned' money in your invite then they don't have to give you any do they xx

On a practical note, do you really want to have a load of cash sitting around your house and then lots you will have to carry with you in New York? Lots of cash always make me nervous I'm going to lose it/ it'll get nicked!

Depending how many guests you are having, will you even need that amount of money on dollars? We only had 60 guests but ended up with over £2500 in cash. ($4200!!!)

I'd personally get it in pounds, then exchange what you need yourself. You often get a better exchange for a larger amount, esp if you shop around. This great link will show where the cheapest place is to exchange. https://travelmoney.moneysavingexpert.com/

We didnt ask for money or any particular gift for our wedding. Through family word of mouth, we got 2 vouchers, 1 actual gift & ALL the rest gave cash.

In a friend's wedding invitation, they put something along the lines of:

'We've been living in sin for many years, and so have everything we need for our house. However, if you feel you would like to give us a gift, a donation towards our honeymoon would be very much appreciated.'

I thought it was a nice simple way to put it.

They wouldn't have got anything from me! As I said before, I don't give money as a gift. I consider it to be poor manners and still would have bought them what I thought was an appropriate present.

We managed to get a wedding list together at NotontheHighStreet so a combination of the decorative and the practical, and we REALLY appreciate using things that people have given us with thought and love. We also got a few vouchers and the things we purchased with them are useful, but have nowhere near the emotional connection of the gifts.

Personally I'd usually rather give money/vouchers when I know the couple have already been living together for some time. A couple of friends have had gift lists when they'd already been living together for a long time, but all the items on it were things like kettles, toasters, towels, etc, and to me it just felt a bit like they wanted new things, because of course, they would already have had these items. Someone a while back posted that they were having a gift list of small household things, like egg cups and cake tins, which I thought was a lovely idea, as they're the kind of things that take a while to get when building a home (or so I've found anyway). I suppose it depends what the money you're asking for is for - to some people being able to go on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday with the money they receive would have that emotional connection.

OP, just to add, it might be easier to ask for money without specifying a currency, so that you can put it in the bank until ready to exchange for dollars. You could keep an eye on the exchange rates as well then.

In this day and age it's not uncommon to suggest cash contributions towards a honeymoon as many of our friends have done to us or say we don't want anything just your company is enough! U say your gifts you were brought from 'not on the high street.com' were sentimental to u etc etc well I'm sure somebody's memories of a lovely honeymoon will be just as sentimental to them & they'll have there lovely friends and family to thank fr helping them pay for it

Agreed, it's actually very 'common'

More seriously, I'm another 'present request in invitation' detractor, whether it's gifts or money. Holding a gift list that can be referred to upon enquiry is perfectly fine.

OP, my experience from my own wedding is that when you don't ask for anything, most people will give cash in lieu of thinking about it. And those who do think about their gifts tend to come up with fabulous, thoughtful and personal things.

True, a very good point made by ForTheLoveOfMrsB (if u can't tell I don't know how to quote ppl lol)

Can I just add that we do have a reason for asking for money. We have a daughter to raise and have just bought our first home which are both very expensive. We had booked to go away to New York 3 years ago before I got made redundant when the trip had to be cancelled and since then our daughter has arrived. New York is something we both really want to do but cannot realistically do without it financiakly effecting our daughter. We got bought alot of appliance, fridge freezer, washer, dishwasher and Dyson as new house gifts less than a year ago

I do not think it is rude or cheeky if you ask in the correct way after all I would much rather give a gift that I know is going to be used rather than a £100 cutlery set that only comes out at christmas. I

It really depends on your culture l know in some cultures giving money is the norm at weddings. My OH is Irish descent and l am part Irish, typically at Irish weddings then money is given rather than a gift or an item off a guest list. If we turned up at a wedding with a gift it would be regarded strangely (quite possibly with a bit of amusement / confusion!) as everyone always gives money.

I don't think it's rude at all. Technically a guest list is similar in that you are still requesting items from others rather than them thinking up thoughtful presents for you. All a bit awkward, but as we all do it for everyone else it's all fine!

Gift lists were orignally started to avoid getting so many dulpicate gifts. We had a list but some people still managed to go off list and get us something someone else had bought us from the list!

We originally didn't want a gift list, but my Mum asked us to do one as so many people asked her about gifts. We felt uncomfortable asking for money when we are very aware we earn quite alot more than many of our frieds, so for us it would have been really rude! That said I often give money as a gift as weddings when I think it's appropriate for the circumstances. Even though our list included vouchers as well as items there were still quite a few people who have us cash.

No idea why that came out in large bold! I didn't mean for it to sound aggressive!

Since this is a forum where opinions are sought, I hardly see that I can be accused of being rude as I was simply voicing an opinion, borne of my upbringing and culture.

I'd prefer it, ladies, if you didn't sink to personal attacks. You don't know me at all.

Have to say, I'm not sure where AC was being rude.

That aside. If people ask for money, I will give it, unless I can think of an appropriate gift (in which case, I'd buy them that).

One thing I cannot abide though, is being asked to transfer money into a bank account. Friends of ours did this and I refused. It just seems so cold to me for some reason.

I too am from an Irish family and am fully aware of the variety of cultural differences in wedding gift giving. Without fail, someone on a thread like this always presents 'The Irish Model' or 'The Greek Model' or whatever.

However, reference to these 'models' are irrelevant. Discussing what people traditionally choose to give (based on personal preference or culture) is a different topic to discussing the asking of gifts (decorative, practical or in cash) in invitations.

After all, if you are operating under 'The Irish Model', where giving cash is normal, defending the action of requesting money in an invitation could hardly be more redundant.

Until last year, I had never received a gift request or list in a wedding invitation. I'm not ashamed to admit to feeling pleased, maybe even proud, that this is the type of activity my family and friends eschew. The single request we have received was a honeymoon gift list card, and again, I'm not ashamed to admit a momentary feeling of disappointment when it fell out of the invitation.

I am of the opinion that some kind of indication is helpful. Partly because I'm rubbish at buying presents but mainly because I don't have time.

Whilst I'd prefer to give someone a nice gift that they've chosen to add to their gift list, I would always give money if that's what they've asked for. However, there's a way of going about things. I hate money poems and I hate requests that are not politely worded. We didn't put anything in our invitations and got a mix of vouchers, cash and some lovely gifts.

I don't think the OP should be relying on cash gifts for the honeymoon though. Nice for an extra bit of spending money but you shouldn't book it at all if you can't afford it.

I wasn't commenting on any "model", merely commenting on my own experience. The next wedding l go to isn't going to have a guest list, l am trying to decide between cash in the currency of where they are going on honeymoon or a present. Or maybe both.

I have never seen requests for cash or dollars etc in an invite for an Irish wedding, there is no point in stating the obvious.

I think the comment about it being common is harsh.

I am asking for dollars too. I bought little cards off ebay that nicely ask for money instead

Please refer to the wink after it.

Guest list? Do you mean a gift list?

I meant gift, sorry not guest! Posting on my phone and it's a bit tricky

I think this is one of the subjects that everyone has really different opinions on. So no ones being rude, it's a difficult topic.

We arranged our wedding quite quickly and only had a few people at the ceremony so in my opinion people were coming to a party. For me I wouldn't personally do a list, I wouldn't mind one at a wedding but I don't like the thought of asking for things. My uncle surprised us with our New York honeymoon which was amazing as we wouldn't have gone away otherwise. All we needed was spending money which we saved between the wedding and honeymoon. I personally wouldn't book a honeymoon and then rely on money from guests (as in if you got no money you couldn't afford to go)

If people asked us we said we genuinely didn't need or want anything, we just really wanted everyone to be there. Some people gave us money, some gave us dollars, some gave us presents and a couple of people didn't give us anything. The only thing I was disappointed in was we didn't get a card from a very close family member as I've kept them all and it seems a shame (didn't sign our guest book either so it kind of feels they weren't there!)

Hs aunties are getting married next year and they're doing a gift list. I would personally prefer to get them something personalised (maybe along with something from the list?) but its not something that bothers me.

It seems crazy to me to not ask for money towards a fantastic honeymoon, if that is what you need. But I do think it would need a nice personal thank you card afterward with details about what the money was spent on. I would personally be a bit put out if I got 50 odd useless items to fill a house that is already fully equiped. That would just seem like a total waste of time, effort and money on everyones part.

I would dispute the use of the word "need" for a honeymoon. Surely "want" would be more accurate? No-one NEEDS a honeymoon.

And not all wedding presents are "useless". That's pretty offensive to people who have put thought and love into a gift.

1. You'd really be "put out" that someone bought you a gift you didn't want? Put out? As in, a bit grumpy? ?

2. A short time on this site, and the sheer number of times this type of thread appears, will illustrate that what you outline, the possibility of 50 useless gifts, is an urban myth. I don't know anyone here who declined to make a gift list and received the 10 toasters, 5 towel bales and 20 photo frames that many posters think likely, nay, inevitable.

I'll reiterate: we didn't ask for anything, we made no gift lists, we dodged direct questions from guests about what to buy for us ("the best present would be for you to come and be happy with us"). The vast majority of our gifts were cash. We also had several vouchers and a handful of very personal, very delicious or very quirky gifts.

Someone made me and Boy a set of clay dishes, with our names and dates scratched into the bottom. Do I need them? No. Do I love them? Yes, they are pretty (finger marks and all!) and made with love.

I agree with Knees. And Custard was only offering an opinion. I also agree that you don't need a honeymoon.

Jade, this is exactly how i fell, why should I fill my house with ornaments and 12 salt and pepper shakers. I would much rather look at my wedding photo album and my guest book. As the honeymoon would be a few months after and just before xmas, the idea was to do Thank You cards just after the wedding and then do a personalised xmas card with a photo of me and the hubby in New York, with a personal message along the lines of ' thank you so much for your kind gift, it helped us experience a helicopter ride over new york city etc'

Its not a case of not being able to afford it, what we didnt want is for us going to effect our daughter i.e a few months with no family trips to the zoo, aquarium, water park, no new clothes for 2 or 3 months and maybe a little less spent on birthday and xmas. We would do this, its just that we didnt want it to effect her. It was our decision to choose New York for our Honeymoon and we didnt want her to have to suffer because of it, as she isnt gaining anything out of it. The holiday will be fully paid for an a small amount of spends put aside. the money we would like to recieve from gifts could help pay for things we could do over there i.e nice lovely trips to the theatre, helicop rides as mentioned, sight seeing tours. Things that arent necessary but would be lovely to experience.