Wedding hymn/Funeral Hymn

Was it a favourite hymn of his? Could you work it in as a "to remember those who cannot be here" thing?

It could go either way, I have incorporated bits about my mum so that she's still included in the day including one of her songs. It can be very emotional though and yours is so much closer not sure I could have heard that song so close to the funeral. It depends how hard it is for you to hear that hymn. It's nice to still involve the people who can't be there, but at the same time you don't want it to be too sad!

If you want to use the hymn it may he worth telling close family, so that you don't feel on edge and take away that worry. Let them know you still want your grandad to be part of the big day and it seems fitting to still use the hymn.

Sending big hugs, it's a difficult one! Xxx

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. It's very hard when you're so far away and these things happen.

I think if it were me I'd ask your mum to have a word with your aunts and uncles, explain that you had choses the same hymn for your wedding and see how they feel about it. If they know it's going to be sung and have a bit of forewarning it may be a nice way to remember your Grandad. But I wouldn't want them to turn up and have it thrust upon them as emotions will still be very raw and songs/hymns are one of the triggers for me!

Maybe have a think about a backup choice in case your family think it may be too upsetting?

So sorry to hear of your loss hun and so close to your day too. Your wedding will have moments that are tinged with sadness no matter what you do, but people will hopefully try and think of your grandad in a happy way for your day. I agree this is a tough one, it's a lose lose really with no ideal solution.

The thing to remember is that unless you're having a choir, people are expected to sing, will they struggle if they're upset hearing this hymn again and so soon? I think you're mum will be upset, as well as you too of course, if you do change as she clearly tried to get the family to choose a different hymn. I think in the circumstances I'd choose something different. You could still incporporate this hymn though, perhaps have this one played or sung by the choir as you sign the register when there'll be activity which means people aren't too focussed on the hymn but on you instead. Just a thought.

I'm sorry about your Granddad YK. ?

I think Pipsybus has a good suggestion - can your Mum broach it with your aunts and uncles and see what they think?

I'm walking down the aisle to a song we had at my Dad's funeral, it was one of his favourites, people have been forewarned, but that was a year ago and not just 3 weeks.

Definitely agree with this

Thanks ladies for your clarity on this. I'm a bit too emotional to trust my judgement.

I had not wanted to mention it to my aunties and uncles as I was worried that it would look like I was trying to get them to change the funeral plans which I'm not at all. In my view the funeral and wishes of tne family comes first. But you are right, fore warned is fore armed and if I mention it as a point of concern then I can guage from peoples responses whether it will be a problem and can change it if needed. I'm not worried about myself as I won't be at the funeral so I won't have made those associations. My worry is, upsetting others, not myself.

Mum reckons I'll have nothing to worry about, my granddad was quite a character and she is expecting the funeral to have more laughter than tears. The other songs they have chosen are O Come All Ye Faithful, as that truly was his favourite and he always said it was a pity you could only sing it at Christmas, and Bring me Sunshine from Morecambe and Wise, so not exactly mournful!