Wedding presents when you're an older couple

I’m finding this a challenge, as where I come from (Ireland) the norm is cash gifts, but I’ve found it a bit different here! I have seen couples add something to invites like “your presence at our wedding is all the gift we want! however if you would like to give us a gift you are welcome to contribute to our honeymoon fund” (I’m sure there’s a better/another way of phrasing it!). It’s not a direct ask for cash instead of other gifts, but a more gentle request

View quoted message That's not a bad idea! 👍 You feel cheeky doing it, but surely its better than having presents that won't get used?! 😊

View quoted message I think it’s more and more common, as most people have all the “stuff” they need by the time they get married. I’ve heard of wedding lists where the guests can buy the couple things to do on their honeymoon too, experiences and the like, where you can share a link and people can choose what’s in their budget. I’ve not used or seen one, but I understand you have control over what people can choose from, so it’s not like they’ll buy you something you won’t use - but for cash itself I think something like the above is the more subtle/less in your face way of saying you’d prefer cash gifts ☺️

My partner and I will be asking for cash.as we have been together and living together for over 11 years so not really much else people can get us and the few bits I'd like my mum has said she is going to buy. I think cash is the most 'normal' gift given nowadays. People will still get you little gifts regardless of you what you say like glasses, photo frames etc.

We didn’t put anything in our invites but all our guests have asked us if there is anything we would like or we would like cash. We have said cash as we don’t need anything.

Its becoming more common now. We will ask the same, its not compulsory but if they wish to gift, money is preferred as we already have our home built.

We're probably just going to ask for cash if people want to give gifts. We already live together so don't need anything for the house and will probably just put it towards our honeymoon. A few invites I've had from friends weddings they've hinted at cash gifts using a cute poem

I’m so glad to read all your replies. I’m getting married in 23 and we’ll have been together 20yrs by then. As an older couple too it was never the done thing to have a list or ask for things and money - never. I still remember wedding present viewings with all the women folk, endless tea and cakes all very polite - forty irons and endless towel bales etc! Even though it’s now the norm for the honeymoon fund or travel fund or just cash - I am really struggling with it too. It totally makes sense I can see that and completely agree with the posts here. I think it’s more of shaking off what’s expected/traditions etc. I too wanted to donate to charity and same with my partner not keen so an option is what we might go for. I had thought of doing as they do in Poland (I think it’s there) where they give cash but also all buy a book and those are donated to local children/playgroup etc. Think that’s a nice idea and a compromise. ❤️

We are asking for money towards our honeymoon.
We have been together 14 year, engaged for 7 and have 2 children. So there is anything we need people to buy us. X

We are asking to just bring themselves but if they would like to contribute towards our honeymoon as we've been together 14 years and we don't need anything for the house

View quoted message It's seams to be acceptable now to ask towards the honeymoon if people really want to give a gift. I like the idea of book donations in Karen's message though, so will run it passed my partner.

View quoted message I like the idea of books being donated, I will speak to my partner and see what he thinks.

If one of you likes the idea of donations to charity and the other doesn't, could you have two options - the honeymoon fund AND the charity donation? That way, people who are uncomfortable with giving cash can just donate to charity.

Or you could put a gift list together for a charity - I heard of someone who put a 'wedding list' together that had items for donation to a local homeless shelter!